FRENZY!!!!!!! -_-

So this is going to be quick fast and to the point.

I saw Van today and he went ahead and gave me the cold shoulder. I SO WANT TO SMACK HIM OVER THE HEAD WITH A BAT!!!!!

I want to be mad at him so much for what he is doing...it's for no reason. HE IS THE GAYEST MAN I HAVE MET IN A LONG ASS TIME AND EVERYONE KNOWS!!!!! I don't see what all the back and forth is for!!!

I have been through what he is doing, Aaron has, and so have Dishone, and so have some of you guys out there so I cannot be that mad at him. But I am going to be, because I don't get treated like this.

I introduce him to people he can finally be himself around, and that means nothing. I introduce him to people that he can talk to and trust and be open with and not worry about them treating him badly...that doesn't matter.

He tells me he is in love with me, I am part of his destiny, he needs to get past this back and forth stuff, and that he needs me in his life. WHAT THE FUCK IS HE ACTING LIKE THIS FOR!?!?!?!?!?

I am just so confused...he loves me and wants me by his side but why let his fears control him. I mean he sees what it did to Dishone and Aaron and even other people are sharing their stories. He knows what he is doing, but he is acting like an ASS!!!!!!

I am just venting right now. I love that man with everything, and everything in me is telling me to love him. Even when I saw him today he was trying to act like an ass towards me, but when I caught his eyes they were eyes of longing and sadness. He wants me so bad, so WHY DOES HE NOT LET ME!!!!!!

I said it before and I will say it again. Why didn't he go through this when he was in high school or his first two years of college. He wants me as his husband, and to tell you the truth I want him as mine.

I am not giving up on him, and I will always be there, but I AM DONE!!! I AM IN A FRENZY!!!!!! -_-

When we were in the MACY's he was extra gay in the underwear section, and even proclaimed himself as a gay man. He even gave Aaron a kiss on the forehead, which he should never do again, because I think it made Aaron uncomfortable and Dishone would see it as a betrayal.

No idea what the hell I am going to do, but just continue to do what I have been doing.

I swear God brought us together and he knows that. If you guys were to see us together you'd see...everyone sees!!!! He is so AGGRAVATING!!!!

Everyone that knows the story is confused. They say he just needs to accept it. He has no reason to act like this. Biblically no reason. Historically no reason. Spiritually no reason. Salvation wise no reason. He is just acting like an ass!!!!!

His uncle is moving him up in the church because he is called and anointed to do it, but the funny thing is that he is GAY and his uncle is doing all these things. We all know what would happen if they found out, but the fact that this man believes that God is moving him ahead is a clear indicator that Go doesn't have an issue with his sexuality...HE WOULD...MAN WOULD...PEOPLE WOULD!!!!!

It makes no sense. He is who he is no matter what. I NEED TO YELL AT HIM!!!

NOW I AM IN A SUPER FRENZY!!!!!!!!! -_-

Let him stay in his comfort safe zone, that actually isn't all that comfortable and safe to him. His words...HE IS FUCKING CRAZY!!!! But I do love him.

Now off to hang with the boys. :-)

I don't care what anyone says...I don't love him anymore, and I actually hate him now. I am done with him!!!! I have no feelings towards him at all!!!! All ties are CUT!!!!

I am really serious though...I could care less. ;-)

J-Bo