Accept People For Who They Are

So I was really planning on helping out at the AIDS walk today, and then to church. Van even woke me up to see if I was going, but I fell asleep so that didn't go according to plan. :-)

I would've made it to church, but Aaron texted me saying he was sick, and begged me to come over. So I caved in and went to be with him. Made him laugh, fed him, and just hung out. All in all spent like 5 hours with him.

I know he appreciated it, but just being there to help him means a lot to me. I feel like I did good work today. So because I was with him, I missed church, but I was with a fellow saint so it worked.

Of course we laughed and talked about Van and Dishone. I told him I hate Van and that he can go kick rocks. LOL. :-)

He of course said yeah right...he said if this man was in trouble I'd be out the door before knowing where he is. He is right though...I will always have his back.

It was just nice to be with a friend who makes you laugh about the situation, and have a good time.

So I did get to hear the word today. It is titled "Accept People for Who They Are."

It’s easy to focus on others’ faults and what we would like to change about them. But, God is the one that put the talents, creativity and strengths into each person. Isaiah 64:8 says, “We’re the clay and you’re our potter: all of us are what you made us.” (The Message) Our job isn’t to change people. Learn to accept that God is the one directing their steps, making them and molding ...

God made us all unique for a reason, and one of the things that we do too often is try to fit people into a mold...into a box that works for them, thinking one size fits all. God is the potter not man..he is the one making and shaping us. Only God can truly people...

You have to give people room to be who they are meant to be. If we are meant to be the same, have the same strengths, weaknesses, and calling then we would. But we are all unique down to our DNA because there is a perfect design. (I add that means being tall, short, big, small, white, black, etc. is without fault.)

God likes variety. You may be trying to change someone who is different than you, but God made them like that for a reason. When we try to shape someone's identity without thinking about who they are in God then we cause damage.

 I brings to light the fact that I am so blessed that I was allowed to be who I am. My parents never tried to tell me who I was or who I was suppose to be, so I had the freedom to find out. It reminds me of Dishone when he was fighting his identity.

He had a view that was given to him about who he is, and Dishone tried to live that, until he couldn't. Dishone is one of those kids that are gay, but was forced to fit a straight mold. His parents and church literally tried to mold this man into a mild that didn't fit him.

The face of true maturity is when you accept people for who they are and not try to change them. How can you possibly do a better job then what God did for them? Makes no sense.

The way that God made us is that we are drawn to people who have strengths that are different than ours. The problem is when we are trying to make them into something they are not. I will never be who I am not...learned that the hard way.

When we learn to honor and respect the people in our life for not only who they are, but also because that is how God created them then we reach a new level. For one we'd have better relationships and better communication.

One example that the pastor gives is that he had a plant that he used to take care of. It had dark green leaves, and if they got light green he knew he had to water it. And when he did the plant would get healthy in no time. He knew how to work that plant.

Now he had another plant in his backyard. It was the same plant, but it's leaves were almost a yellow tint. The pastor said he watered it everyday, got new better soil, sang to it, told it how much he loved it, and he even prayed over it.

He said nothing he did worked. The plant did nothing to his advances. Finally he called an expert on plants. The expert said that the plant is as healthy as can be. The pastor said why are the leaves so different. The man said it is the same plant: same vines, growth rate, and everything, except this one has different leaf color.

The pastor said he spent months trying to make the plant into what he felt it should be.

Too often we do what the pastor tried to do. We try to make people into what they are not. We compare them to others, instead of comparing them to themselves...the best they can be.

Don't spend your whole life trying to make someone have dark green leaves, when they are suppose to have light green leaves.

When people come into our lives that are different than us it is easy to say that they are extreme and out there and the best thing to do is to try to fit them into our mold. Why do we do that? Who is to say that our way is the right way?? Along the path of love we have been showing arrogance.


God is the one who made us...our job is to encourage, love, and accept them. We need to take them off of our potter's wheel.

The other person may not change, but you can change. You don't have to allow what they are doing to affect you, and weigh on you. Love and acceptance...character of Christ.

For example Van and I had to make allowances for our weaknesses. We really complemented each other. Iron sharpening Iron. I remember that I use to make a big deal about Van and his time...but I was backing off, because it is how he is. I was trying to make him like me, but I realized that God made him like that on purpose and I learned to love, approve, and accept him with purpose.

A lot of us think that when someone changes then we will be happy and we will learn to love them then. But we may have to accept that some people will never change because it is who they are. We cannot fight our nature. God created Nature.

We focus on the bad and we don't focus on the good qualities. Too often we show that if you don't be who I think you should be than there is a problem with that. We forget that Jesus didn't have the holy and righteous with him. He had those that people thought were wrong and unworthy. That is the God we serve.

God's plan for their life is not the same that you have for their life. God's time table is his own, but we have to just show encouragement, love, and acceptance, because that is God.

For those of you that have seen the Tyler Perry move "Why Did I Get Married," you will know the 80/20 rule. No one person will give you 100% that you need...the grass may seem greener on the other side, but it won't be what you think.

Our relationships would go to another level if we accepted people for who they are...take them off our potters wheel. Our job is to respect and honor them. Love them not because they meet your standards, but because it is the right thing to do.

J-Bo

P.S. I owe Van an apology. I don't think I have been trying to change him, but in case he thinks I have then I need to make amends now. Time to head to school and get some work done.