There was this lady on my bus to school today who was looking for a seat and I was so mad that she skipped all the seats in the front and came to the back where I was and I gave up my seat. She was very grateful. We sat down and talked for a while and I found out that she is a widow and is 110 years old. I was stunned...I was immediately brought to tears. She had so much grace, pride, and class.
She told me about the city and how it was years ago. She was on her way to the hospital waiting to die. She said she didn't have long to live, and it was time for her to move on and see her loved ones again. It was too much for me to take...I asked her where she was going. She told me Presbyterian Hospital downtown and she was going alone.
I told her not anymore and I escorted her downtown. She said a nice young man like me must have a special someone in my life. I told her I did, but I said it was Van. Normally for people her age/generation I lie because there are some biases that are built in that must be accounted for. When I told her that I figure she doesn't like the idea and I hope I didn't offend she smiled and just said she is too old for hate.
I laughed...such a breath of fresh air.
She told me that she gave birth to 10 children and has over 40 grandchildren and 30 great-grandchildren. She said some did great and others not so much. Some were gay, lesbian, straight, doctors, lawyers, teachers, and more. She said that nothing surprises her. God is too good.
I was and am in AWE!!!!
She said that when her son told them he gay her husband cut him off. It was 30 years later when he was dying that he called his children back. All of them even the gay one. He said in front of everyone that he wasted so many years...that he is so sorry for being so foolish and if he could do it over again he would know the great man he became.
The lady who we will call Lady D said her husband wasn't an evil man. Just an uneducated one...he like most people are scared about what they don't understand. I told her Van's story and she said that his family isn't the problem. That soon Van will go off and do his own thing. She said that his family is uneducated about this...they love him and through that things will work out.
She said she has seen developments in so many areas. Each time some were more accepted than others. She said that the church is always the last to get on board...every new development. She said that she was born in a racist, bigot, one sided church family. She remembers everything and how far we have come. She remembers how every year or so people thought Jesus was right around the corner, and she has been hearing that since she was 5 years old.
Being in this women's presence has me so warm and so loving. It is hard to be hard and cold during times like this. I told her that I was losing faith and hope, but she said never lose hope. She held out hope her husband would change, and even though it took 30 years it happened.
She said even when her kids married people of different races her husband came around then too. She said people change, because we can. She said God has given us the tools to live life to the fullest. I dropped her off at the hospital and she thanked me. I thanked her. I gave her the biggest huge, and just started crying. I told her that they were tears of joy...tears of love.
She said those are the best kind. She said to tell Van how I feel no matter how hard, and know that he feels the same. She said that with everything he said it is clear that he loves me to end. She said everything will be ok...everything will work itself out.
I know that I have so many things to accomplish, but maybe if I see Van today I will talk to him, and let him now. Maybe I won't have to use words. I just want to look in the man's eyes and see what course of action I should take. It will be so much better when he is out of that house, and taking care of himself.
Lady D has been alive for more than 4x my own life more than 5x Van's. She has a lot to teach and she gave so much to me. Bottom line is that I am his best friend...his closest friend. We have always sharpened each other.
What to do??
J-Bo
P.S. I wonder what the hell Pastor and Van were talking about for 2 hours?? He won't tell me, but I will ask him again. I want to know what could they have talked about for so long...
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