Ready For Love

Guys I am sitting here watching tv, and I got a huge hit of need and longing. I really really am ready for love. I mean me and Van didn't happen because of his religious convictions, and a part of me hopes he gets past them...but in the meantime and just in case I need to replace him.

Though he can never be replaced.

I am going to go to Kelly Temple and find me someone...I am on the rebound, but this is what I have to do. I wonder if this boy knows how great we are together. Not that it matters, but whatever.

I'm going to find me someone that can love me without fear...

I am speaking a good game, but I really do miss my friend. He knows me better than I know myself sometimes. :-(

I gotta tell myself friends will do and it is the only thing I can do. I just have to find someone else. He can never how I feel...all he must know is that I have no feelings towards him like that period.

I cannot let any signs of anything through. So I guess Kelly Temple here I come, and all COGIC conventions and events that are big. Maybe just AIM, Holy Convocation, and Men's Conference. I can get blessed in many ways.

Some of you may think that Van reads my blog, but honestly why would he. I am just someone that he looks over my business stuff and that is it. I don't see him wanting to do anything more with me...just kick me to the wind.

All is for the best. He told me about some deli worker by our school that drew a heart in ketchup for him, and I acted all cool. If he decides he wants to date and mess with this guy then I wish him the best. Obviously I ain't someone of any meaning in his life like that, and easily dismissed.

I do really wish him the best. I am sure the deli worker is a great man...or he will find someone in COGIC that is perfect for him. I mean his whole time with me was a valley experience so I know with that belief he must really think me of a lesser man.

Lemme stop rambling. He don't love. We just friends. He'll find some other man that will treat him good and he'll be happy. I want God to bless him and give him that. :-)

But God please give this man a man he can really love and cherish. Someone that he can really give to..without fear. Like the times we shared. Someone his family will accept.

I am ready for love Jesus...ready for it since the man you sent into my life is too scared to stay in it. God you owe me...I am tired of hearing patience and long suffering.

I cannot complain...I got a great friend and asset. I am planning a trip to Kelly Temple second Sunday of the June...I don't want to be there for their communion...got my own church for that.

J-Bo