Thursday, February 28, 2013

Deals, Deals, Deals, and More Deals!

So I have business deals and Real Estate Deals all coming at me. I have to work at a dizzying pace to get things the way I need them to be.

So what do you do when you are working on multiple 6 figure and 7+ figure deals at the same time?? Keep the details straight and pray that I am as good as I've been told I am. :-)

I'll give you guys an update again soon. I got things happening with my music and that career, business, finance, and more. Things are going to get real busy and hot really, really fast.

Pray for my strength and my mind to be sharp and ready. I'm looking for a miracle people...HELP GOD!!!! HELP!!!!

J-Bo

Saturday, February 23, 2013

Hospital Visit

Granny is doing very very well. She still cannot stand up for too long. When she lies down she has trouble getting up so they have her for about 2 weeks until she gets her strength back. But she was doing so well when I saw her. Talking, laughing, eating real food...and wanting more.

So that is a big weight off my shoulders. I have been paying attention to a lot of brain surgery and it is a very dangerous surgery but I am so happy that she is doing well. I cannot wait for her to be out of there, and move on with her life.

Now I was suppose to go out to a party tonight at one of the BFA's house, but I am not going to make it. When I came home I showered and planned on getting dressed and heading back out. But then I sit down and passed out.

It's cool though...going to be in the city all day on Wednesday. Got a voice lesson and also gotta hang out with some of my friends.

So now I can call it an early night, and get to bed. I do have to get up early and head to church. A & D are already planning on coming to visit again and stay the night for a few nights next week. So that should be fun if they actually end up coming.

3 of my friends want me to date people they set up, but I am so not in the mood. I know I cannot put it off cause I don't wanna blink and be in my 50s and find that I haven't had a real serious relationship since Van.

So I gotta pay attention to everything and take time for all areas of my life. I did have to put a wall around my heart. I know now why they say when a man gives his heart to someone and it gets mishandled the repercussions can be devastating.

Moral of the story is Granny is feeling and looking real good, and things are turning around for me in a big way. I just don't wanna reach the top and have no one to come home to and to love. No sense in getting to the top and I come home to an empty bed.

No bueno.

J-Bo

Friday, February 22, 2013

Going to BK to See My Sick Grandmother

So I am going to be in BK tomorrow...first I have to go to my school and kill some time and then heading there. I keep hearing that she did really well after the brain surgery. I want to see and touch her for myself.

I also wanna see the doctors that did such a great job with her. Medicine and Science have been really high up on my list as of late. I love that I have found that passion for more and more things.

My things to do tomorrow are go to school and print for no reason like crazy, see my grandmother, and grow these damn businesses.

IT IS SO HARD!!!!!

Growing one multi-million dollar company is hard, but many at the same time is damn near daunting. Not to mention I am actually planning on building many multi-billion dollar companies. I mean if I am going to go for something I might as well go for the stars!!

Also I had the craziest day yesterday. I mean it was cool and all. Not the most productive day I've had...and I've had many unproductive days as of late. For some reason I have all these fears and insecurities...so much and so many things. I just need to take that leap and GO!

Also yesterday was so hard. Everything I ate, saw, thought, watched, and did made me think of Van. It was the most annoying thing that has happened to me in a long time. :-)

I mean I was driving around looking at the area, and just clearing my head...he pops in. And it was crazy...like every song, everything was just bringing me back to him. He probably is engaged to some perfect polished church girl his family picked out for him.

I am still not worried about him and other women. Not in the slightest...if I was to hear he was married to a woman I wouldn't even blink. But what hurts is that I have been forgotten and thrown away. That I mean nothing.

Lemme get to bed...long day tomorrow.

I do wonder how medical school is going, and how everything with him is going...smh. That and I am so DAMN HORNY!!!!

I don't wanna sleep around because I don't wanna be that way just loose, and also HIV and STIs are at an all time high so no one gets a past...not w/o a blood test.

J-Bo

Tuesday, February 19, 2013

Therapy: Why Now?

So I have decided to take therapy.

Why?

Because I have been thinking for a long time that I want someone to talk to who is a professional in the area of the brain to help me. I am not feeling bad or anything, but I know that there are things that need addressing.

Seeing how some people in my family are right now, seeing where most of my family seems to reside in all areas of life, and knowing what I want for and from me I need the help. I would like to believe that I have grown just a little. That I am past the point where I say I don't need help, just because of some ideals.

I just wanna thank God for this part of my life.

Taking over people. :-P

J-Bo

Sunday, February 17, 2013

Building Businesses Ain't Easy!!

Before I start the topic of this post I wanna start by saying my niece is driving me crazy. Somehow this crazy little girl tricks me into using my phone and sends everyone in my message folder a text saying her name.

I ask her why...she says she don't know. Then she smiles and runs away. So about 20 ppl get this message on one of them happens to be Van. SMH!!! This little girl is doing too much...I love her, but she needs to go home!! Love her though, but having children around for too long is work.

But I am used to it over the years. I guess I am tired of other ppl's kids for too long, and I am now looking forward to having my own.

Now to my main topic. It is so hard trying to build something of your own. I mean having a job, going to school, and doing everything that just relies on other people is easy. For all those who are either working for someone else, or those who are self employed. I always feel it would've been easier if I was a doctor, lawyer, accountant, or something like that.

I hate this. I just want things to be simple. Maybe I should just do something nice and easy. I always figure it would be easier now to just become a regular working man. There are people who are happy with being regular and normal.

People kill to be normal. My niece wants me to sing and dance for her...and do some spelling words. Alright people...time to go. There are somethings and people that keep reminding me of him. I quickly push it away. Lord help me!!!

Things will be as they will be.

J-Bo

P.S. I LOVE THIS HYMN!!! AND THIS RENDITION IS THE TRUTH!!!!!!

In Field Triage and Passion

One of the most awesome things happens to me. Besides my niece sleeping over the night and driving me a little crazy.

But I went on a date a few nights ago with this guy. He takes me out to Red Lobster and I must say...he is BORING!!! But someone collapses and then someone ask if a doctor is around. Can you believe he jumps up and grabs me to help him.

IT WAS AWESOME!!!!!

I was so in charge. I was just like a machine...I didn't know I knew all that I knew. It was so cool, scary, awesome, and exhilarating.

Now I don't see a future with the guy, but lemme tell you. We FUCKED like animals in his car!!!! After we went to the hospital and dropped the guy off and surgery was done. IT WAS SO COOL!!!!

It was so awesome...now I don't want to be a surgeon, but I think I would of made a really cool one. Van always thought I couldn't handle it, but he doesn't know all the gun shots, knife attacks, pregnancies, and other trauma that I had to deal with in the field.

I think he liked thinking I was not good with medical stuff...which I am not. I'm not too good with personal family stuff...when it is too close to me, I do get a little freaked out.

Now back to my niece cause she is demanding my attention. Time to go guys. She also asked about my friend...I want to believe she is talking about someone else. God...I wanna be in a real relationship again...with someone strong, passionate, and filled with you.

J-Bo

Thursday, February 14, 2013

Brain Surgery...And Happy Valentine's Day!

So my grandmother just had brain surgery. 6 HOURS OF IT!!!! She is now in recovery so we are waiting now to see how things go, but I am very hopeful and peaceful. It is all in God's hands now.

I am going to sleep...not knowing how easy I will sleep, but I will see how it goes.

On a lighter note, I wanna wish everyone a Happy Valentine's Day!! It is the first Valentine's Day that I have spent alone in a long time. I coulda spent it with someone, but I kinda wanted my alone time. That and I didn't feel like it to be honest. I don't wanna just be with someone who wants to be with a warm body.

Don't get me wrong...just being with someone just to be with someone is cool...it just isn't what I am looking for. But now that I am thinking about, why not just have my fun. I mean I am not in a serious relationship, and if someone comes my way that rocks my world then I am all in.

I was doing me like crazy when Van came into my life, and then I cut them all off. If God can bring me love like that one time then he can do it again. Especially since I know that I did everything right...that I was the man he called me to be in the relationship.

I honored what was given to me, so I know I will get more than enough. But the next thing that I am looking for is that plus more. I want what I had to a higher level...a higher degree.

Also I cannot just sleep around cause STI rates are increasing at an alarming rate...that and the fact that I don't want to be a fast ass anymore. (Good times though :-) I swear they were good times.) So that is wht my problem. It is funny cause I want a relationship, but unless it is the right relationship, then I am ok having relations with someone that wants what I want and heading where I want to be, but not looking for a real relationship.

So I am going to have to get more information on how my grandmother is doing...I am trying my best to get things in order. God help me. Now I gotta finish my Valentine's Day with Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, Suits, Elementary, and of course...GLEE!!!!

Night everyone and I hope you guys got love in your life.

J-Bo

Some People Haven't Caught Up To God

This says it all. I have to meet the wonderful and talented Ms. Shonda Rhimes.

Enjoy.

J-Bo


Wednesday, February 13, 2013

WTF Is Wrong With Me?!?!?!?!

Here I am watching this great episode loving the music, and the characters, and wanting to now be involved with someone in medicine. Why?? Because I want to be with someone who is doing great work...life changing and saving work.

Of course that person could also be a lawyer, teacher, musician, teacher, etc. But Grey's Anatomy is about doctors and surgeons so why not.

But here is the problem...

I am watching and listening to the last song and all I can think about is what if that was Van. What if Van was in that situation, and he could die? He could die and then what...what would happen after that?

I don't know why I am even thinking about that. I don't know why I even care. I shouldn't care. I have been begging God to make me forget this man...to make him be as if he never existed. I mean why should I be the only one still thinking about the other, and still feeling anything. Why should I be the one made to look like some fool?!?!?!

But I watch this show and and especially this episode and I am a wreck. I mean wow. Why not think about my mother, father, grandparents, family, friends. You know the people who actually care if I live or die...not someone who would shrug his shoulders and walk away!!!!!

Why am I thinking about him?!?!

I was good and kept pushing him out of my mind, until the last song. THAT SHIT HAD ME LOOKING STUPID AND TEARING UP!!!!

I don't know why God continues to punish me...I mean why does it have to be who still cares and still thinks about the other person.

Here is the song...pray for me ppl.

I don't want to talk to my friends about this...I told them I have no feelings for Van at all anymore. I said that he is dead to me, and I feel nothing for him at all. I don't wanna come across weak.

J-Bo


The Episode That Sold Grey's Anatomy For Me!

I am loving this series. I am watching it from the beginning. I at first dismissed it, but through Van I fell in love with it.

Thanks to him I love medicine and science more than I ever have.

I wanna share this with you guys...here it is. The harmonies are beautiful!!!!!

J-Bo


Sunday, February 10, 2013

2013 Grammy Awards!!!

So I am sitting here watching the Grammy Awards and I just love it. It truly is music's biggest night. Nothing but great genres and artist doing what they do best. I cannot wait till it is my turn. I had the best dream about the Grammys and my mind is already racing on all the possibilities.

To be honest just to be nominated and to perform would change my life. I am getting super emotional over here.

I know that my super bass-baritone will be a welcomed change and addition. I just wanna sit in the seats.

Things are looking up guys...things are looking AWESOME!!!!!

Now back to the show and then bed cause tomorrow I have a LONG DAY!!!!! Going back to school to get my singing on, and also gotta get my alumni card...gives me free access to all parts of the school just like a student.

Also the boys are home now. They had an awesome time...they asked about ppl that I didn't have the answers for. I even finally got to talk to my boys in San Fran and the kids down south. I also got my mentors over in Europe on the phone and it was a great time.

I know what it is that I must do ppl...God is good and everyday it gets better!!!! TTYL!

J-Bo

Friday, February 8, 2013

Married?!?!?!?!?! WTF!!!!!!!!

So the doctor is out of the question.

I am talking to him and he tells me to hold on. I think he thought he put me on hold but he didn't. This nigga is married!!!!! He had me fucking him like I don't know what. He had me doing all sorts of fun freaky shit to and with him.

None of that matters anymore cause he is married. This sucks...how could I be so stupid and blind. He is married and he got kids. He don't deserve me...this sucks ass.

He was so damn good on paper.
  1. Top surgeon
  2. Proud to be gay and a masculine black man
  3. Generous
  4. Loving
  5. Not Religious
  6. Church Boy
He said he wants to leave his marriage, but he feels trapped. That his wife, church, and everything was planned for him. I told him he is too grown to be living like this. I am done and tired with cowards and those who want anything less than the very best for themselves and for me.

I am sad to see him go, but I need ppl strong enough to stand in their truth not lie about it. It is one thing to be discreet or moving in the right direction, but I cannot deal with people standing still or those moving in the wrong direction.

God I don't wanna be married just to be married...I wanna be married and soul tied because he is a man that you would have me be with.

J-Bo

House Guest...and a question.

So A & D came by today. They got a ride with my mom, and they are spending the next few nights up here with us.

I am really happy to have these guys out here. It makes me happy. It is also cool to see that they are still as annoying and crazy as ever. They both do really compliment each other. Smh...just seeing them act the fool makes me happy.

I told Aaron to behave himself and keep his hands to himself, but I wouldn't if my wo/man was here.

Too much these two. :-)

Now here is my question: Can I still consider myself bisexual if I enjoy and want sex with men more than I do with women? And when I am with women I want men, but when I am with men I don't really want to be with women...I miss them, but it isn't a real big deal.

I just want to know. I love men and I know it is how God would have me be, but I love women too. But not in the same way. Why am I still having these conflicting thoughts.

I have realized that it would be easier if I were straight to just fit in, and not be different. To just fit in with family, friends, and the like. But it doesn't matter cause I need to love who I am.

Well I am leaving the guys to their stuff...I am ready for bed. Night y'all!!

J-Bo

P.S. I am a bisexual man who loves men more than women. I think that means I am actually a gay man, who can have sex with women if they are interesting enough. I guess that makes me an opportunist. Funny cause when I was younger I always said men were just for sex, and women were for love and relationships. Funny how my descriptions have changed.

P.P.S. There is a girl that likes me, and I am trying hard to not give mixed signals, but I am in the mood for sex and just to feel wanted and appreciated. There is also a guy who works at NY Presbyterian Hospital...he is one of the youngest top surgeons in the country. He is so much better, but I am missing something with him. But I would love to be in his presence...I am learning so much about medicine and science from him and his friends. And he is HOT!!!!!! Keeping him under wraps, because I don't see a future with him, but I can have fun. ;-)

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

God at work in the world!!!

Just wanted to share this with you guys.

Just so great to see God working in the world...it is truly beautiful.



J-Bo

Crazy Ass Family

So now it seems people are disappointed with me that I am not taking sides in anything.

One cousin calls me trying to get the contact information for another cousin to get her into trouble. Why?? Because someone apparently called ACS, on the other one. I swear it is too much!! TOO MUCH!!

I cannot be bothered with the kid shit. I have too much riding on what I am doing, and my own dreams and goals to be worried about grown folks out for blood against each other.

My main priority now as it has been before is the kids. I need to make sure my little cousins are as protected as possible, cause they have nothing to do with this drama.

I know what it is that I have to do. I know what it is that is required of me.

If I have to I will cut them all out of my life. I love them, but I love me more.

J-Bo

P.S. Look out for some positive and great news. Things are happening PPL!!!!!! :-D

Monday, February 4, 2013

BFA REUNIONI!!!!

So today was an interesting day. I messed up in one way, but that was my fault and I own that.

So I got to see most of the BFA clique today and we played music and we sang liked the old times.

We riffed, harmonized, and just laughed. We also listened to other singers and went in for no reason. It was really good...I miss times like that...it actually wore me out.

Then the Director (if you were part of the group you would know who that is) is now MARRIED!!!!!

She talked to all of us, and it was so nice. I cannot believe she got married, and we all wish the best for the Director.

So that was on that front. The bad thing that happened was that I had my voice student today. It was good, and I had some people in the room with me. Everything turned out ok, but her energy and her demenor just sucks to be honest.

So I walk her down stairs and she sends me a text saying she is upset that we did the same exercises today that we did last time and she feels she isn't learning anything. WTF?!?!?!?!?!

I was shocked and had to share that with everyone of the BFAs and voice majors in the area. Who in their right mind takes a voice lesson and expects to be a totally different singer when they do nothing that you worked with them on at home.

So I had to tell her that there are going to be exercises that she is going to be doing for her whole life over and over again, because the exercises are the foundation of what singers do, and they help with getting the technique.

She also said she wasn't happy that other people were in the room. I said why didn't you say that to me. I woulda asked them to leave. She was stuck. I swear I never knew how great it is to work with actual singers. CRAZY!!!! Then this girl sends me 2 songs that she wants to work on, and I take the time to learn them by ear (I have it down perfectly too...with only 30 mins on it...my ear is getting way ahead).

She doesn't even know the songs...I kinda hope she doesn't come back so I can focus on real singers, and those who know that singing is a life long pursuit. Not 2 lessons and you are a pro. Where did she even get that shit from. Smh.

But the highlight was singing and playing with the BFA family, and talking to the director. Then I spoke to my main girl and told her I wanna get a tattoo and she said she is down cause she wants to get some she has redone and modified. Now I just have to decide what the hell to get...I got time.

Night for now people...I am TIRED!!!!

God bless and much love.

J-Bo

Alicia Keys' Rendition of the National Anthem

I liked it to be honest. I know some people from on facebook and twitter were upset over it, but I liked it.

She played to her strengths and made the song her own. It was unique. I have heard people from all musical genres do the national anthem, and that was pretty good. I mean she couldn't do it like Whitney, Jennifer Hudson, or anyone else.

She did it like she would do it...and it was Great!!

It was soulful, calm, and poised. People are too much. It's like having a classical singer go up there and you made she didn't do it all pop ballad like. Well that is not the kind of singer she is, so why would she do it that way.

Go ahead Alicia...keep doing you.

J-Bo

Sunday, February 3, 2013

Super Bowl...BEYONCE!!!!

Let me start by saying that the Super Bowl this year is a little disappointing.

San Francisco should be playing better, but the game isn't over yet. You never know the way these things work out. I still have faith for them, but you never know. It would be great if the underdog wins!!!

BEYONCE FUCKING ROCKED!!!!!

That girl is BAD!!!!!

I mean she was so damn good...I am sorry but there is a reason why Beyonce is on top the way she is. She is just too talented and too good. Everyone in my house was just watching...

She is someone to look out for...she is a beast!!

Now back to the game, and then I have to head into the city and see about a voice class and a voice lesson. Also I have to see about giving a voice lesson tomorrow.

Keep me in your prayers and thoughts.

J-Bo

Friday, February 1, 2013

Brain Surgery & Family Drama

My grandmother is going into the hospital to get brain surgery on Tuesday to get a tumor removed.

I am so not looking forward to this. I am going to be there so BK here I come.

On the other side of things to add stress and headache to the equation, my cousin who was in jail for years is causing problems all over again. Apparently he has problems with everyone and everything, but he stays around. That makes no sense to me at all.

I know he is going through some serious mental, physical, and emotional issues. And normally I am very good at dealing with things like this, but for some reason I am not thinking all too clearly.

I cannot make excuses for him when he is poisoning my little cousins. He actually wished my grandmother...HIS GRANDMOTHER!!! That she would die during her surgery. WHO THE FUCK SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT?!?!?!?!

DISGUSTING!!!!!!!

I am so upset and disappointed in him. I mean having arguments and disagreements are normal and to be expected. But what he did was out of line. Totally unforgivable.

I don't know what to do. It is out of my hands, and someone like that is a danger to himself and others. He has to go, and maybe it is true...he needs to be in jail again for good, or just leave and never come back. His kids would miss him, but he can spread his hate and malice somewhere else.

I was going to be in BK tomorrow, but I decided to save that trip for Tuesday when my grandmother will be in the hospital getting the surgery.

I wanna call Van and talk to him about all of this. He would tell me the truth about all the medical stuff and lemme know what she and the family is in store for. Oh well...time to get to bed. Gotta lot of driving to do tomorrow.

God is doing so much and then this happens. I swear it never stops getting interesting.

J-Bo