The Driving Force: Beliefs

Beliefs control everything you do and everything you are.

They shape our lives everyday without us knowing it. Some of them serve us and some of them don't.

I was hanging out with my boy Louis today, and he said it. "Some people are so scared of change and doing something different, that they cling to the status quo. They cling it whether they want to or not."

I wonder why I am not like that, or why Louis isn't like that. Then I get it. We were raised not to fear change and growth, but to embrace it. To face our fears and insecurities and move forward, and thus we get better and more blessed.

We talked about my friends Sally and Kevin that passed away yesterday. They died a needless death, but I will make sure their lessons go on. I will give you a brief overview of them, so that you can see what led them to their untimely demise.

Both of them grew up in christian households. Sally grew up Church of God, and Kevin was Church of God in Christ. They both had a deep love of God (more a fear of hell, but that is not important) and they were really nice people to know.

Sally got married at 19 because she was told to do so by God. -_-

You guys don't know the story but believe me the face is warranted. She grew up in a house where she trust her parents and elders about what God said, because after all they are seasoned saints. She gets married to this man, and I don't like him from jump. Didn't know why, but me no like him. A couple months after the wedding he starts hitting her.

I begged her to leave, I called the cops, fought her husband, prayed, cried, begged. She kept on saying marriage is for life, and what God has ordained no man can tear apart. I tried to tell her she is taking things to far, and not using commonsense. That the bible should not be taken so literally...you have to read into things and delve deeper. And the bible was written centuries before English was even established.

(Actually the King James Bible was commissioned for not only political goals, but to also spread the King's English...think of it like the first English ELA textbook.)

So fast forward and I see her in the hospital, and she dies of a heart attack and a blood clot or aneurism...one of the two. She was beaten so bad, that she died...her body couldn't take anymore trauma.

Before she died while I was talking to her she said she is scared to leave him. That would be going against what she was taught was right. She said she didn't want to go to hell. She died believing that breaking free of her abusive relationship was wrong.

She died in fear and pain. Pitiful...sad...disgusting. She was better than that. :'(

Kevin is in the same boat. He dies at the age of 25. I knew him for 10 years. 10 years ago he was diagnosed with liver cancer. He didn't want any meds, chemo, or anything. He said God is a healer. He said that he believes that he is going to get healed...be a living testimony. I did the same thing with him that I did with Sally.

His family was no help. They should've had him committed!!!!

I see him yesterday and the man looks like he is a ghost...all skin and bones. He still believed he was going to get healed and blessed. I told him 5 years ago when the cancer was spreading to at least change his diet. I know people who have healed themselves from Diabetes, Cancer, hypertension, and more just from changing what they eat to a more raw based diet.

He told me he ain't changing nothing, and pork is made for the black man. IGNORANCE!!!!

When I saw him yesterday and we were leaving I asked him why?? He said he was raised to think this way, and didn't see a problem with it. I told him he is a fucking joke. I said you are dying and you tell me that you still want to believe in that stuff. He said that he is scared to change.

I told him not changing is killing you...he could've been with his kids, wife, and had a great life. Now he dies an example...a fool.

I see now what Louis means. People will hold to the status quo because they are scared and it is all they know. They have a way out and see it, but because it is not how they always saw it they are limited.

Kinda makes me think of Van. He was always told that he was going to be a doctor and of course he has a love of music. I could always tell that and the fact he said it helps too, that he is scared and lost. So he goes back to the status quo, and his status quo is to back to the plans that he had before.

He only sees one way, or only chooses to see one way, because it is most familiar for him. If it won't happen the way he wants it to, then he believes it can't happen. I see the same thing in Dishone.

I am reminded that Louis said people will go to bed barely living, and think it is okay, just because they are scared of the other side. It is true that those who venture into areas they are running from and scared of tend to grow the most, and contribute the most.

Oh well...that's life.