BFA RECITAL!!!!

This is going to be quick because I need to get to bed, and get ready to practice in the morning.

My last BFA recital at CCNY was a huge success. I am a huge attention whore, and I got a lot of it tonight. :-)

Some of my friends came out to hear me, and people changed their plans tonight to be there for me...I am really so blessed. I even met some singers that go around traveling, and I am going to get a chance to work with them, and travel the country, and hopefully the world soon. :-D

I am over the moon.

Van came to. He got to see his precious sopranos. He said he came to see me, and I believe him. He keeps on saying that he reads, my blog, but he don't read it. I am convinced that the kids tell him about it.

In any case, it was nice seeing him there. My mom hugged him and my best friend is holding this man in high regards. Life is so funny.

Funny thing about Van that people noticed today was that he was distant, cold, and a downer. That happens when he is fighting and dealing with his sexuality. The times when he is social, fun to be around, and the life of the party is when he is confidant in who he is.

I want my friend to be back in my life as my friend. I miss him. I miss laughing, arguing, yelling, and hanging with him. God please make a way. I know that he is dealing with stuff, but I want him to deal with it, and move on. I mean why suffer for being gay, when there is no problem with being gay.

My aunt, mother, friends, teachers, and strangers were giving me so much love and attention. IT WAS AWESOME!!!!

Is it weird that I wanted to kiss him...to hold him. I mean I don't really. I think. :-)

I know that we are meant to be in each other's lives, but because of how he is acting, and even with all proof to the contrary his only arguement is that this is how I was raised so it must be right, I am going to stay busy.

Not only am I moving forward in my career goals, and other areas, but I am also going to find me a Van 2 so to speak. Another COGIC PK/PGK who is obviously gay, and knows that there is nothing wrong with it. That way maybe I can get my friend back, and I can get my other needs met to be with him met, through someone else.

Do you think that will help??

I think it will. :-)

I am sure he won't mind...he doesn't love me anymore anyway. I just want my friend back, and I am willing to do it this way.

So onto Kelly Temple I go...next week.

J-Bo