Not off to a good start :-(, but it gets better. :-)

So first I oversleep (my body needed it) and I miss the show my aunt wanted to take me too. I gotta make it up to her, because I hate to be that person. I HATE IT!!! :-(

Then my mother jumps on my ass about if I have told the world that I am graduating. I didn't because contrary to popular belief I am not in it for the attention. This is not something big in my eyes. It is a part of life...something that people go through.

She has people calling and making me feel like shit for not broadcasting to the world I am graduating.

I don't make it a big deal, because it isn't. I am graduating and going to the next part of my life...that is all there is to it. I don't see the big deal. My parents both have multiple degrees and I don't see what the big deal is with me getting one degree.

On another note tomorrow I work with my new accompanist for graduation so that is a great thing. I have a lot of work to do. I need to make some serious moves.

I am still on the fence about going to Kelly Temple. Everything is telling me not to go. But what can I do...I need to replace the part of my life that Van used to be. It isn't my fault that he wants to be this way. I cannot make him get comfortable, and get to a place where everything in his life naturally and spiritually line up.

God knows I want him too, but I cannot wait. I just have to be his friend, and find some of that love some place else. If I can get 1/2 of the love and commitment, but just get someone that is comfortable with who they are it makes all the difference.

I gotta ask him what makes Kelly Temple special, and what should I expect.

J-Bo

P.S. Is it wrong to think that Van reads these. He said he was, but I think that was only because we were in school together, but now that, that is over he can act like I don't exist. Why is this man so in me?!?!?! I don't why God would soul-tie me with someone who thinks that what we had is wrong...I need someone to explain this to me in a real way...NOW!!!!