High of 92 degrees but it feels like well over 100!!!

I AM MELTING!!!!!!!

It is so hot that it is crazy. Everyone make sure you stay hydrated and have you sun block on. It is not a game out there.

So I have no plans today, but to stay cool and hydrated. I do have work to do, but I want to be cool doing it, so I guess I am off to the library.

Last night I got a call from my ex girlfriend to come outside she had her car and the AC was blasting. i ran out with in the quick fast...and it was very cool in their. She was driving Van's grandfather's old car...memories!! :-)

So we were chilling and said she missed me, and I told her I missed her too. I do, but not really in that way...I told her that things have happened and we cannot be anymore than friends, and I rather not talk about it right now.

She said ok...she said am I dating anyone right now. I said no I just got out of a serious relationship, and I let it slip towards the end that it was a guy. So we talked about that, and she was very supportive.

Now lemme tell you this girl, Shirley, is stacked like a brick house. I mean she is something all men want, and I had her. I was truly luck with her...she made me happy like you will not believe. I think the best thing to say is that the sex made me so damn happy. :-)

She is so high yellow it is not a joke. Holding her hands made me think so much of someone else. I mean the color difference really made me sit back and reflect.

So Shirley and I sat back and talked about life, love, and everything else. She said that it is such a small thing to get over, but she and I are used to being strong and standing on our own two feet. We are used to finding things for ourselves and thinking.

She was very encouraging, and said if he feels a little like how I feel about him, then he thinks of me. I told her I don't think so. I told her that I think he rises and falls without even muttering my name. She smiled and said that I was being dramatic.

She was also telling me stories of how people are getting sick and stuff. Why is there such an outbreak of STIs...and why when I have an awesome relationship that this happens, and I so want some ass and dick. Like I got an itch you would not believe.

I mean when Van was at my house, we didn't do much, because my father and brother were in the house, and I didn't want to risk someone knocking on the door with me inside him...or him inside me for that matter.

Shirley also kinda upset me when she left...she told me that if he is special enough that I would want him, and he would propose to me and want to spend his life with me, that others may see him as a great piece of ass.

I told her that if I was some random dude and in the place where the majority of people are now, I would see him as no more than a fuck toy and want to run through him. She said others see and say the same thing.

She told me that she is happy I am connected with someone like him who we complement and sharpen each other, but she said he could be out having sex with other people.

I am not going to lie...that made me very upset and hurt. I am smiling now, but it makes me think of that deli worker up at my school. I want him to have the physical manifestation of the love, commitment, and devotion that Jesus Christ shows us through our relationships and partners, and if he finds that in some other guy I hope he treats him well.

I hope he finds a man that gives him everything that I did and more. I know I did a pretty good job, and the only thing was his religious issues but I really want him to be happy.

He deserves it. The way his eyes dance in the light, someone else should see and appreciate it. The way he fights to make you challenge yourself. The way his lazy eye becomes more lazy when he is sad. The way he mutters your name when he is sleeping.

The way when he is lying on your chest, and holds on tight to say he feels so safe. The way is so surprised that he has come so far so fast, and says things that are obvious like I am no longer a virgin. :-D

The way he wants to heal and help children never go through the emotional and mental pain that he faced as a child. The fact he really wants to build a home with someone. The fact he is so sexually adventerous and outgoing, and wants to do so much in the world, but doesn't know how shows that he is looking for someone to show him the way...even if he will say he doesn't really want it.

There are so many awesome things about Van that a man will appreciate it...I hope. Like how much he loves God, and his church. Even though he puts so much faith in his church knows best, but that is not here nor their. He needs a man that has a strong spiritual foundation and relationship and is fearless in going outside and moving forward.

He needs someone that will keep him from keeping his sights low, and wanting and desiring the best in all he does. But he will also keep his partner from flying to close to the sun. He needs someone that compliments his nature and habits, but also challenges him to grow. Someone to keep him from getting inside his own head, and keeps him moving forward.

Most of all he needs a man that will never give up on him no matter how crazy he gets. No matter how many test he throws at him (the last one I failed miserably...let my emotions get the best of me. He reacted out of fear and I acted out of anger). He needs someone that he can know is going to be there...someone to remind him that their relationship is not his parents relationship or anyone in his family for that matter (you guys have no idea), and not his partners families relationships. That thier relationship is theirs alone.

He needs someone to remind him that balance is what is needed, and to decide on what kind of person he wants to be. That he can decide his own destiny because God gave us all the tools and strength to do it if we choose to. Someone to see that exotic beauty in him, and to see that he is someone to be treasured and loved and honored.

That their is no one like him, and he is precious and made perfect. That nothing needs to be changed...just maybe refined and broadened. :-)

I really want him to find those things, and even though I think God put us together. I mean God has a hand in everything to make us stronger. I want him to be happy and I know that him being in a loving committed relationship is what he wants and desires. I pray God brings that love into his life, and he gets treated great...but he also is needs to be challenged. He needs someone to push and demand more of him so that one day he does that for himself.

I would be mad if I see him with someone else, but if it makes him happy I want that for him. For him to have little neurotic kids running around.

This became more about him than I intended. Anyway Shirley and I ended off our night by just singing a song, and I am getting way better at keeping my part and finding my part. All of it is practice. Something he was suppose to help me with too and keep me practicing but whatever.

So lemme go and beat my brother's ass in video games and then get to work. Things to do today, and hopefully I can see Dishone and talk to him. He has things he wants to tell me. I really want to talk to him...I can't let him know that I care anything more for Van.

It's a pride thing. :-)

HAIRSPRAY!!!

Today was so damn hot!!!!

i swear I got in a good workout today...almost passed out, but that is part of the journey I guess.

I didn't make the opera scenes like I wanted to, because I was babysitting my 5month year old god-daughter.

I was so bored that I used up all the ovulation and pregnancy sticks.

I know you are wondering why would I do that...I read an article that said a man gave birth and then I felt like I was having morning sickness so I wanted to check. :-)

I also used her tampons to see how it would absorb and when she came home she was pissed. She swore I would never be allowed over alone again, but I don't care. I am an awesome babysitter so she will call again.

I rehearsed with the cast for Hairspray and we did it in the park. It was so damn hot, but we got through the play...going to start rehearsing at my school. Thank God I have connects!!! :-)

Which reminds me I have to e-mail the head of the department tonight.

So I hung out with my girl Marta after rehearsal and we had a good time. We started talking about all the people we know getting sick and STIs. I mean I just found out there is suppose to be another strain of gonorrhea that is not curable...like herpes and HIV.

I swear even kissing someone carries a risk.

This is another sucky thing about being single and not in a relationship. At least with Van we never had to worry about those things. I knew about him and he about me...I don't want to get sick and I won't. People are walking around with God knows what nowadays.

Anyway enough about getting sick. I have dedicated myself to getting healthy and strong again. I saw someone that was walking up on me that looked like Van. I had to focus until I realized it wasn't him...he has rehearsal today.

So now I have to get someone's info for HBO Go so I can watch True Blood and enjoy the rest of my night.

I am making some good moves in business, but it is work doing it alone...but I am building momentum. I am where I want to be mentally and emotionally and getting better. I just need to catch up health wise and economically.

Stay cool and healthy people!!!!

J-Bo

P.S. Tomorrow is going to be a slow day...I really wish I could just drive to Vermont and just see the trees and foliage and enjoy myself. And no I am not thinking about going or taking Van!!!!! -_-

Looking to take over the WORLD!!!!

I say I want to take over the world, but that is only because it is an ongoing goal and I want something that will keep me going for years to come.

I mean I never want to be complacent...not in my health, relationship, career, business, etc. I mean we are built to have goals and dreams and something to strive for.

I hold certain truths to be right. If I want to be rich should I study poor people or those struggling...no I should study the rich and wealthy. The same thing for my health...why study someone or people who are not healthy and dying if I want an incredible level of health and vitality...makes no sense.

We have to remember that we should open our minds and hearts to a different set of beliefs. I mean it is very evident for example that animal proteins and fast food and sodas and such are linked to all sorts of diseases and health complications.

I mean those that live the longest and healthiest follow the old saying that food is thy medicine and medicine thine food...which I believe is Socrates or Hippocrates.

Here is something else to remember...most truths in life go through 3 phases before they are seen as a truth and fact, because there are convictions in soceity.

1. First, it is totally ridiculed
2. Second, it is violently opposed, because if the ridicule doesn't do it then people get violent because their convictions get opposed. Fear takes over and then we have a whole mess of problems.
3. Third, it becomes accepted as obviously true without a shadow of a doubt.

For example when Copernicus and Galileo says the Earth isn't the center of the universe, but it is in fact the sun he was punished and made a fool of by the church...until hundreds of years later he was proven right, and an apology was made.

Same thing for when people believed the earth was flat, slavery, women's suffrage, apartheid, genocide, Darfur, bullying, and more. How many things do we take for granted now that once was seen as a joke??

Open your eyes and stop being so hard headed and blind.

That was my rant...I was in a debate with a bunch of idiots. I mean they throw the bible around when they don't even agree with most of what it says, but to attack and bring down a segment of people they find no fault in that.

IDIOTS!!!!!!!!!

Anyway I have a huge headache and I am looking to get into bed early. Tomorrow is more work, going to an opera, and then going to rehearsal. Not sure what to do tomorrow night, so I may just be chilling home or maybe I will go to church...been a while since I've been there on a Friday night.

We will see if I am awake enough and how I feel at the end of the day.

I hope you guys don't mind me unloading like this, but I like telling about my day and plans. I have no one to do that with...

Time for bed!!! :-)

J-Bo

My Personal Relationship Diagram

First off I want to start by saying that sharing all of this is not easy. I mean it is very telling, and I am a private person, but I want to lead by example.

I also want to share to be careful of your must and must not list. I mean you should have them so you know where you are heading, but you should also be very open.

For example yes it is true someone should meet your sensuality and your sexuality. I mean what good does it do me to have a woman that is meeting all my needs, but my primary sexuality is towards men...in the long run this is not a sustainable relationship.

On my list I do not have connect with someone's soul, but that is what happened with Van and I. Here we were sitting in this class, and somehow someway we connected and we met, and our lives became one.

Now we had a lot of the ups and downs that go through many relationships, and honestly we would be in the legendary category because we have similar natures and complementary natures. The truth is that we also supported the others dreams, and goals.

I bring this up because some issues are so huge. I know many people that have over came the religious issue, because religion and spirituality are two different things. The stories of Jesus Christ show that he did not care for religion and institution, but for relationship and spirituality.

I have even seen my two friends Aaron and Dishone overcome their own personal issues and work on building a life and foundation together. I wish them the best... I really do.

It does make me upset that the only thing keeping me from someone that made me so happy and better, and that I was doing the same for is old fashioned beliefs.

Of course it is funny also. I mean here is someone using the bible to justify his beliefs when he doesn't believe or follow 1/2 of what the bible teaches saying that it was for a different time, when there are people in the world that would argue with him.

When I brought them up to him, he just didn't want to talk or think about it, because it would cause him to challenge his family and foundation...something his siblings and cousins are doing and that is why they can live apart and do them. They can even be close, but be their own persons.

I really want him to get to that place...I mean everything he believes is based on what his family believes, but he is the first to admit his family doesn't like to admit they are wrong, and will stay the same even if it kills them because they would rather be right than do right.

It baffles me, because anyone who studies their bible instead of just read it can see. This is not about him...this is about me doing the exercises and showing you guys...I only bring him up because he is very important to me, and he holds such a special and big place in my heart and spirit. I bring him up to show that everything can go right, but because of one issue there can be so much pain. I am not only jealous of his family that move on and can do them, but also of Dishone and Aaron that they are past this part of their lives.

I wonder if Van believes that this is something you fix one time and you are done. I wish it was that simple...personal growth takes time and work, relationships take time, finances take time. Everything you want takes some attention and work to accomplish and they all help each other. Nothing you do gets done one time and that is it.

That is why we are suppose to get a daily filling of the Holy Ghost...because the filling from even 10 minutes ago isn't enough.

I must say I love my church...ok no more side tracking.

Anyway here it is.

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Ideal Mate from Heaven:

Loving                         caring                           compassionate                                    strong willed gentle                             Open-minded              growth oriented                       passionate

Own interest               People person             devoted                                   family orient

Health conscious         financially sound         Giver                                       God-minded

Spiritual                      Expressive                   Communicator                                    detail oriented

Inner beauty                outer beauty                Sexual Adventerous                Spontaneous

High Sex Drive            Career minded             Goal Oriented                         Intelligent

Emotionally Sound     Selfless                        Adventerous                           Saved

Spiritually Parallel      Masc/Fem                   Leader                                     Follower

Humble                       Connection                 

Ideal Mate from Hell:

Close-minded              One sided                    No goals                                  Boring

Racist                          Bigot                           No spiritual foundation          Conceited

Judgemental                Passive                        Push over                                Shallow

The funny thing is that all of these were being met, and none of my must nots were being met.

The only thing that was the problem is the religious part and that is what annoys and pains me the most.

Now here is what I believe that I need to do more of, and become to attract and keep my relationships flourishing and thriving.

Here is what I feel I need to be to attract the person of my dreams (let's be honest I love dick more than pussy, but I hold onto my bi title. :-))

I will end with this and the next post will be about whatever other great thing is happening in my life.

BTW I am on campus today and the guards are telling me to keep my ID in my pocket...they know my face and voice. And I am getting stopped all over campus. You know I am feeling myself today!!!!! :-D

Who do I need to become?

I need to become a person that gives without expecting a return, but to also know that I deserve it to be returned. To be strong enough to know that I can bear all you bring to me, because God has shaped my soul. I need to honor my own dreams and goals, but also to remember that I am part of a team, and helping you realize your dreams and goals like you do for me matters more than anything.

I need to honor my family and friends for they honor me, and those that only want me to do what they want, and care less about my desires and dreams go to the back, and to help them do the same. To help them remember that they matter and what they want matters and that it is their life. That the best thing they can do is to thrive and be successful on their terms, and let those who really appreciate them stay for the ride.

I need to be a man that honors my God, body, and soul. I need to make sure I am the best I can be physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally, and more so that I can help you, and you can help me.

I always need to be looking to get better and never just settle and rest on my laurels, because it won’t last and I want to always be striving for more for me, my partner, and those around us.

I want to help you accomplish everything you want, and if need be just be there to support and enjoy the ride.

I need to be able to go with the flow and not be rigid. I need to be able to expand my awareness and understand that I don’t know everything, and there is no way for me to know everything and the best thing I can do is to stay humble.

I need to love and honor my partner because they are in my life for a reason, and God doesn’t make mistakes. I need to love myself more than anyone else, so I can love my partner in return. I need to understand that true love is rare and the intimacy and connection even rarer and honor that. Not to let my insecurities get the best of me. To think before I act.

I need and want to be at the best in all areas of my life knowing it is a life long pursuit and go through that journey with my partner.

J-Bo

Relationships pt. 2

I send this one from my alma mater's library. Always a nice place to get work done and lay down for a while.

I want to give you guys the second part of the relationship stuff, and then I will give you guys another post that is me doing all the exercises and showing you guys where I am at, and what I am working on.

I know that no one is perfect especially me, yet we are all thriving for that perfect balance at all times.

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Power of Relationships: The Power of Selection

Select the Qualities You Need in a Relationship

Relationships last when both people have the same or complementary natures. Follow the example set by business leaders and consider three things in evaluating a potential relationship (business or personal):

·      Can they do the job? Can they be your partner?

·      Will they do the job? The answer will be yes if the job or relationship meets their personal goals and reinforces their nature.

·      Are they the right fit in terms of values? In a personal relationship, is there a match in terms of sensuality or sexuality.

Define Your Ultimate Relationship

This is the time to describe your ideal partner.

If you have a hard time coming up with you wish list, start by defining “the mate from hell.” Write about the person you couldn’t stand to be with. What qualities would they have? What things would they do? Then describe your ideal mate’s traits, habits, appearance – everything you can think of that would be important to you.

After you finish writing out the perfect person you could possibly want and then the person you would never want to spend time with asterisk (*) the must nevers and the musts.

These will be things that you need to have and you need to never have in a relationship.

Now after you have created your list you need to create a list of the what kind of person would you have to be to attract or enhance your current relationship? You need to become the kind of person you would like to find. Describe the values, characteristics, conduct, and habits you would need in order to deserve the mate you just described.

Again asterisk the must in what you feel you need to be. After these two steps are done it is good if in a relationship to sit down and talk to your partner. Show them your list and hopefully they will show yours…make sure that you try to become the best you can be, and give your all to your partner.

After you have given 110% then sit down and talk to your partner. Know what it is that you want absolutely, and give 110%. Make sure you give without regret and talk to your partner in what is missing in your life.

The relationships that you need to foster is the one with yourself, your partner, and most importantly with God. If you do all these then you have a great chance of working on things.

Dealing with Challenges

To close the gap between where you are and where you want to be, you’ve got to know where you really are. If you’re already in a relationship, go back to the “must” items on your list. On a scale from 0-10, first rate your partner, then yourself on how well those must are met.

If you are not in a relationship, score yourself alone. Go back to your must items and rate yourself on a scale from  0-10. How close are you to being the person who will attract the kind of person you want?

How to Deal With the Inevitable Challenges That Will Arise

Challenges show up in every relationship. If the same ones seem to keep popping up, and if they seem overwhelming, it may be that your natures are completely different and not complementary or you don’t share the same values. Now it is hard if both of you are walking in the dark, and have not had a real heart to heart conversation.

Running from a relationship is not the answer. Anywhere you go, you take yourself wit you! Honesty and clear communication are the only solutions.

·      Have an honest conversation with your partner about ways to meet both your needs and theirs.

·      Make yourself stronger and better; give morel focus on their needs.

Sometimes you have to make the hardest decision of all and the relationship. Get clear on what’s best for you and the other person.

The Four R’s of Ruined Relationships

1.     Resistance

2.     Resentment

3.     Rejection

4.     Repression

There is a clear pattern of destruction in a relationship.

The first R happens when someone says or does something that pisses you off, and you don’t say anything. You hold onto it for a period of time (weeks, months, decades). You just hold onto it until one day you have had enough. If you do not talk about it and let it out then resistance turns into resentment.

If you still don’t deal with your problems than it turns into Rejection and then finally you get to a place of repression where there is no passion no love. You guys are just friends…if that. All the juice excitement and joy is out of the relationship.

The funny thing is that the moment the person lets it out they are just angry and they come out looking like fools. You are no longer reacting to what actually happened, but you are reacting to the past and all the stuff you’ve been holding onto.

Take your Relationship to the Next Level

Step 1 is to first learn to love yourself.

For the next seven days take 2 minutes each morning and look in the mirror and repeat, “I love you [your name]” and give yourself specific reasons Do something for you that shows you love yourself and care about who you are as a person. Love you for all that you are.

Every week find one thing about you that you can love and appreciate.

Step 2 is if you are in a relationship, make an action plan for taking to the next level.

Make a list of things you can do to enhance your relationship. Or, if you are truly not matched in your natures, your values, and your goals, get really clear about that, have an honest conversation, and make some decisions. Make  game plan for what you are going to do.

Have a serious conversation about what you are worried about, and work on it. Action is the best remedy…sometimes just getting it out there and clear can make all the difference.

Step 3 if you are single, make a marketing plan for attracting your ideal mate.

Where do you need to spend your time? Who do you need to talk to? Create a plan for the next 30 days.

Put yourself in a situation or place that will put you with the kind of person you described as being really committed to having in your life. i.e. church, museums, dance studios, operas, etc.

Finishing Thoughts

Be careful with your list though. Sometimes it takes people awhile to show you who they are of they are new, and sometimes it takes someone great to bring out those qualities in us…

If you get everything you want in a relationship, but you get 2-3 must nots then it could kill a relationship. You must be careful, because you cannot change a person.

Do not judge too soon…give a relationship time to develop and remember that people grow and mature, and like I said before you are not their prize peach either and it is a marathon not a race. It is a ongoing thing and that is the best part.

Make a list of the magic moments that you shared with the person you are in a relationship with. Keep remembering and compiling the list of all the great moments. Look for the little things, because if you do not then the few bad things will overwhelm you.

Ask quality questions on a daily basis…like how am I so lucky? Etc.

Every 10 days at a minimum make sure you guys do something just you two, and at least every 3-6 months take a minimum of a week and go do something together. It will bond you and make the relationship even better.

Together sit down and remember all the great moments. And at least 4x a month spend time together, and every 3 months go away or do something with each other. Whether it is a whole day or a week, make it feel like it was something big. If you cannot do a whole vacation then make that day something you two will never forget.

Another good thing to do in your relationships is to sit down and find out what your partner wants to accomplish. What is his/her personal goals? What are their dreams? Both of you need to sit down at least 1-2 a year and figure out where you guys want to go together and as individuals.

All of us could get depressed right now if we wanted to. We could focus on all the bad things going on in the world, but it takes real courage to connect and love on a different level. Sometimes we focus so much on being significant, that we forego love and connection.

Find big and small things to make that person feel loved and appreciated. Remember the small things sometimes carry the biggest impact. Give and give and if there is something that is lacking then tell them you need something from them. Communicate it in a way that doesn’t make them feel less than.

Ask them if there is anything you can do to make it better.

If it must be ended then end it, but do it with love and respect.

If you are single than get clear on becoming that person, and going to places where that person is going to be.

Business is not easy

So I have been overcoming my fears and doing what is scaring me the most which is going head in on these business deals.

A few people have already flat turned me down, but I feel I am making some serious gains.

I even have a potential $25k copywriting project that I am working on. Due at the end of July, and I can either do 1,2,3,or,4 and of course I am going to go for all four and hopefully they choose me and I can get $100k.

We shall see.

I am trying hard to stay busy and keep progressing...part of it is because I want to be successful, and the other part is that I really don't want to think about Van. I mean I do, but I am working hard at not calling him.

It does make me wish we had another year or 2  in school so there was a way to see him on the regular, but I won't get into that.

Now I focus on money and my career, and I am going to pray on the relationship end of things. I am so jealous of Dishone and Aaron. I am happy for them, but still jealous...I mean Van and I really had a healthier and better relationship than they did.

If it wasn't for him being so scared and the religious part I wouldn't be worried about this. Oh well...lemme not focus on that.

I have to keep my feelings secret and be strong for the kids. I wonder if he has found someone to replace me already??

Lemme get to work...going to be an early night.

J-Bo

Relationships pt. 1

This post is about relationships and what makes a successful one.

This is advice that has been put together from my parents, grandparents, and all the successful people in the realm of relationships that are truly happy and successful.

I was telling Aaron and Dishone some of the things, because they want to make sure their relationship has a fighting chance. I want to give them all the tools they need to see if the relationship can make it, and to have a fighting chance.

They really make me happy seeing them together. I hope they can make it the long run.

I hope that these 2 post really help you guys out there...both men and women.

Here it is:

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Power of Relationships: Passion, Connection, and Love

There are two universal laws of life: anything that doesn’t grow dies, and anything that fails to contribute is eliminated. These laws hold true for everything in life, especially for relationships.

Extraordinary relationships – not merely good or excellent, but truly legendary ones – are those in which the participants continually grow and contribute to themselves, the relationship, and each other.

Identify the Gap Bet. Where You Are & Where You Want To Be

1.     Where are you?

a.     If you’re in a relationship you either

                                               i.     Want more from it

                                             ii.     Want out of it

                                            iii.     Are immobilized

b.     If you’re not in a relationship

                                               i.     You want one but don’t have one; you fear being hurt

                                             ii.     You don’t want one; you’ve been hurt before

2.     Where you want to be?

a.     Visualize your ideal relationship. What would it look like? What would you talk about, laugh about, share, learn together? How would you make love, surprise, and contribute to each other?

b.     Remember to stay flexible…sometimes we get better than we ever could’ve imagined.

c.     Also remember that you are not giving someone everything they want right off the bat…we can all grow more into what we want out of our partners and vice versa.

The Purpose of Relationships

Relationships exist to magnify the human experience. Which emotions are you magnifying: negative ones or positive ones?

The Secret to Handling Upsets

When we associate pain to a relationship, we’re responding to the past. These are independent events. Remember that this is not that.

Instead of assuming the worst, become a master of meaning. Ask these questions to keep from assuming the worst and getting yourself into trouble.

1.     What else could this mean?

2.     What else could be happening in this situation?

Most of the time it is not about you, but about something or someone else, that the person is using you to get out their frustrations. The person we are closest with we tend to unload on even though they have nothing to do with it, and don’t deserve it. Awareness is the first step.

Remember Sigmund Freud’s wise words – Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar! Don’t turn an ant-hill into a mountain.

The Ultimate Love of Your Life

The quality of your relationships is in direct proportion to the amount of yourself you are able to share. Sharing produces a synergy where one plus one equals more than two.

·      Go to a relationship to give, not to get.

Measuring and remembering who gives more is a surefire way to kill a relationship. When driven by rules instead of love, relationships begin to die.

·      Keep your rules to a minimum

Too many rules can destroy a relationship. Upsets occur easily when you have too many ways to feel bad.

·      Help your partner meet his or her needs.

Although we go about meeting them in different ways, we all have the same six needs. These needs are: certainty, uncertainty, love/connection, significance, growth, and contribution. Legendary relationships occur when both partners feel that their needs are met.

·      Understand the importance of awareness and acceptance.

Be aware that all human beings share the same two primary fears: that they are not enough and they won’t be loved. Primary fears are triggered any time you feel like you’re not being seen as significant enough or you fear the loss of love. If you’re starting to react, ask yourself, “What’s really triggering this fear? Am I responding to the present or the past? What else could this mean?”

How to Create An Extraordinary Relationship

You cannot give to other people what you haven’t learned to give to yourself. Write at least 10 things you can do to show how much you love yourself.

Some ideas are working out, eating right, doing a hobby that you really love and makes you feel happy like singing, drawing, acting, swimming, etc.

You can acknowledge yourself for being great, write yourself a love letter, and go to places that you love.

Be very specific about why you love yourself. Don’t just say you like your lips…be very specific. You need to love yourself more than anyone else, because if you can do that then you can give and love to someone else without a problem and you will know your worth.

Sometimes we accept less and abusive behavior from someone else because we don’t know our worth…this is a way to give ourselves that which we want from others, and what we want to give to others.

Take two minutes every morning for the next 7 days to look in the mirror and repeat, “I love you [your name], I love you [your name]…” Tell yourself the specific reasons you love yourself.

Give this gift to yourself everyday…spend that time with yourself where you show yourself love, devotion, admiration, and more.

Make sure you spend the time now to everyday do something to give yourself that love so you can have more to give to others. You cannot give to others if you don’t have. The other good thing is that if you have a real good partner they can teach you to love like no other.

 

What I needed...

My boys came over and kept me company and kept me laughing.

It was what I needed in between getting work done.

I also love seeing them together... I love seeing that love and connection.

It does make me yearn for the good times, and they will come again. I have decided to not pursue the doctor though he is still there. I am getting nothing from him, and I am sad to say that I while spending time with him I was thinking of Van.

I don't know why, but I pushed him out, and was able to have a good time. I am going to spend tomorrow with him while he is at work at Columbia, and we will see where we go from there.

Now back to my friends and playing games...I looking to kick some ass playing video games.

Yes I play video games...I love them. I even watch my cartoons...keeps me young and one of my keys at being a kid at heart. :-)

J-Bo

Such an interesting day...

So today was an interesting day.

I met up with a friend of mine who is a pretty good doctor and we spent the day together. He is a really nice guy and really sweet.

He let me drive his lamborghini and lemme tell you something...I hate it for being so small, but that is a sexy car to drive.

I mean it was really a lot of fun. I did 200 easy.

So we talked about life, career, and love. Spent a lot of time on love. He told me that there is always time for love, and those who don't think so live very sad lives.

I told him that I got out of a real serious relationship, and he too got out of one. His was a year ago, but he said that it was with a colleague which to him was a huge mistake.

Details weren't given.

He did say that he always liked me, and wanted to know how I felt about dating him and building a life with him.

Now before I begin I met Matt when I was 18 and he was 28 doing his residency. Back then he was a solid 10...now the man is like a 100. :-)

I mean why does he want me...what does he see in me?? I am so confused, but it is what it is.

So we talked about it, and he kissed me. I cannot lie it was a good kiss, but it wasn't great. I didn't get that feeling...I didn't get that spark.

I really wish I did, but maybe I will continue to see him...I mean why should I let go of a hot doctor that wants to make room for me in his life. He may not be who I want, but he is helping me.

What also sucks is that he is going to do doctors without borders, and he maybe leaving real soon. The only thing that he is doing that I love and I am all over is he is here...he tells me that he is here and he is proving to be a man.

It sucks to think that he is going to be leaving at anytime (have to find out when). I don't love him or anything, but he just gives me what I am lacking. He shows me stability...he shows me that whether it rains or shines he is going to be strong.

His stability and his strong love for God are really appealing...that and being carved out of black marble. His body is SICK!!!!!!!! :-)

Also some other good news is that I am working on a copywriting project on spec...pray that it all works out great.

Joint Ventures are looking good...still have like 25 more to write, but it is what it is. I need someone to look over it since I am all alone. Why can't ppl be more reliable?!?!?!?!

J-Bo

P.S. I like lamborghinis now, but I want to get a bigger car. I hate getting down into cars...it really just pisses me off.

Awesome SUNDAY SERVICE!!!!

So Church was awesome today...I mean it was something I will never forget.

I got in a good praise and a good worship today.

I swear this Pastor is something serious...he is so passionate about people developing a personal relationship, and being Christ-like to a fault.

I then of course had a good convo with Aaron and Dishone. Aaron and I both are emotionally and mentally drained and are in real bad need of a vacation. So a vacation we shall have.

I also put my name down to help with the ministry in the church...not sure how it will work, because the church hasn't opened the doors of membership yet. But we will see...I look forward to helping and lending my talents and gifts.

I also am ashamed that if you can believe it I wanted to hate Van...I wanted to never think of him again. I am still disappointed and mad at him for being such a punk and scared of everything.

I mean his brother and sister are so brave, and his cousins are doing them. Even the other 2 youth in the church that I met that I am really close with are about living their own lives even if the church don't like it. They get that what the church wants and God wants don't always add up.

I was still seething over his message to me.

I wanted him to be dead to me...obviously I was coming from a place of hurt.

I needed to ask myself better questions to get better answers than the ones I have been getting.

Two of my new favorite questions is to ask:

1. What else could this mean?
2. What other meaning could I attach to this to make it empowering and positive instead of negative and hurtful?

So I don't hate Van...I want to hurt him though...like smack him upside his head. I want to throw him into a wall, or something to that effect.


I told my best friend Tarif that I hated him, and he could kick rocks. I told him that Van ain't shit to me anymore, and he could get hit by a car for all I care.

Tarif looked at me and said yeah right nigga...who you trying to fool. God I hate him sometimes.

Time to take a nap and then get to work. Love you guys so much for reading.

J-Bo

P.S. I forgot to say Happy Pride...this is more than a LGBT holiday. This is a day to have pride in being an individual, in being unique, in being who God made you to be. Tall, short, gay, straight, black, white, mixed, and more today is a day to be proud of who you are.