Personal Transformation!!! :-)

So today was a mixed day. A lot of feelings and emotions came out and to the surface, and one of the biggest is this itch to just be great.

I mean I really want to be great, and leave a legacy that will be around long after I am gone. That is a lot of pressure on me, and I think I am feeling the overwhelm, and it is keeping me kinda in one spot. I have to get out of this rut, because it is not cool.

I demand more of myself than anyone else does, and I am not happy with where I am now. I need to grow so much more, but the good thing is that this is a marathon and not a splint. :-)

True Blood was AWESOME!!!!! God it makes me wanna touch myself. I so want to be on that show...if to do nothing, but be killed by someone hot and awesome. I am such a mess. :-D

So guys I have a lot of work to do. Can't say who I am, but please believe me...you guys are going to be looking forward to a serious dream being realized and greatness being born. God is too GOOD!!!!!

Time for bed...got a big day tomorrow if I am going to get this stuff to Van by Friday, and also get ready for this rehearsal and to learn all this music. Smh...so much to do, but I am grateful that I can do it. 

J-Bo

P.S. Just had a conversation with Aaron, and he is so frustrated and upset. He is tired of dealing with the same issues and wants to move back down to ATL with his sister. Of course he is running from his problems and they will follow him, just in a different town and different people, but he will see that for himself. I am going to have a real talk with him in person, but if he wants to leave I support him. I need a change in scenery myself...VACATION!!!!!!

P.P.S. Everyone around me is growing and focusing on change...from Van to Dishone and Aaron...everyone is growing and changing. I am so proud, and it lights a fire under me. I cannot have all or any of them get ahead of me. I know it sounds childish, but it is what it is. The funny thing is that I dream ENORMOUSLY BIG, and Aaron dreams big...Van and Dishone have what we would call reasonable goals...nothing wrong with that, but it is clear that Aaron and I are not looking for reasonable lives...we wants lives that people look up to and want. :-D