Cannot get over it...

So I wake up to this gorgeous view and it just brings such peace to my soul.

I feel so nice and calm. I really want to be the next one who gets their own place.

Then this man comes in my head.

I get so damn mad and hurt. I love that man with everything and he talks to me like I am a kid. I just feel like I can knock his ass out for what he said to me.

I don't care about him being scared...he can be powerful and sure right now and be a forced to be reckoned with.

It is so weird seeing the dynamic of his cousins and siblings versus the old people. He is stuck and torn in between...

I am going to stop justifying this man. He is an adult, and he needs to stand up strong and go for greatness or do what he is doing now and get by and survive.

He sees how his aunts and uncles are and parents and that is the level he wants to attain then good for him...

I cannot believe he thinks he can tell people who they can and cannot hang with. I mean everyone in his little circle is about doing what they want and being their own persons. From his siblings (especially his brother) to his friends and cousins especially his friends we all hung out with that day.

I cannot believe that he thinks that his message was ok...that he feels justified.

He talks about the will of God and being Christ like when he is the first person to admit that he is not very Christ like. And he is the first one to say that his family doesn't show a great image of Christianity.

He is dark, moody, meloncholy, scared, fearful, hesitant, and all around a huge pessimist. I see something different, cause when he is around me he is showing something different. He is so free and everyone says it, but he is the only one that doesn't see it.

The funny and sad thing is that he said he doesn't show the character of Christ, but he feels he is getting into heaven by being the way that he is.

His star burns like a dying flame, compared to his "friends" and fam that are his age that are burning so bright and so fierce. They know who they are and what they are and what they want.

He is the one person that goes from being free and enjoying himself to being the person that they all call a kill joy and no fun.

I know talking to those closest to his age that they are happy and doing them. That they will not be held back by dogma and principalities.

I have to get ready for this wedding and have a great time. My best friend is the first of us to get married. Who will be next?? :-)

J-Bo