So I got my tux and I look really good in it. It is a little big, which makes me think I have lost weight, so I am happy for that, but I like my suits to fit me better. But still it is hard to look bad in a tux.
Van was suppose to come over so we could "work," but he canceled on me. I told him that I don't need sex from him, that all I want is some quality time. I didn't push him, but he knew what I wanted. I let him decide hoping he would choose me.
When he didn't I was pissed off, but I said fuck it and moved on.
He then sends me a text saying that he is getting minor surgery on his toe. It had to happen to both my brothers so it was nothing new for me.
He said he didn't need me there, but he should've known that I wanted to be there for him.
So you guys already know I am going to spite him and not tell him anything that is going on with me. I know it isn't right and in fact it is childish but I don't care. I guess I can also give him points for telling me, but I want to be mad.
He then said he was going to come and see me...I am not going to lie. That makes me very happy.
Sometimes I feel like he is going around thinking that because I want it, and it is coming from me it is less important. I mean I wonder if I started to act like what he wants means nothing, and that he knows nothing...basically treat him like his family does treat him like my personal assistant and a child maybe he would appreciate me more.
He said he is on his way...he wants me to doctor on him and just be there...that I can do. That I want to do.
J-Bo
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