Should I Feel Insulted or Honored

So as you know of my last post I sent Van a message saying I would love to keep the lines of communication open.

He sends me a message saying that he thinks that it isn't for the best cause it will bring feelings back up for me and stuff. :-/

I didn't know if I should be insulted he feels that I am like that, or if I should be honored that he is thinking about my well-being.

But I told him that I do still want what we had, but not with him. I cannot imagine having that with him. I need someone who first and foremost wants to be loved and wants to love. He is ok with being alone forever...that is not for me at all.

Bottom line I told him I'm always here for him, but do not think that I want him. It would be great if it were that easy, but why do that. Not worth it...the man I am cannot be with him...I demand a higher level of everything in my partners now.

Van taught me to be with someone in my own league and not those who aren't in my league don't deserve to have that intimate personal space with me.

So the ball is in his court, but I am not living my life at a higher level and I am glad that I did and said what I did. I did mean it when I said I want good-great people around me, and Van falls into that category.

So I don't want to be his man...I want to be his friend, but if not I don't lose sleep.

Now this girl is calling me...she wants to hang out with me today. Not in the mood, but I do love the way how she massages me, and she is such eye candy I always get looks when I am with her. Nothing wrong with being a little vain. :-)

She wants some dick, but last time we were together this bitch would choke, bite, slap, and scratch me. Not in the good fun way either. She was in the I want to see blood kinda realm...not for me. But she is hot as hell and a great fuck from what I remember...but still not for me.

I don't know if our paths will ever cross again...maybe in a professional matter. Maybe not...I do wonder what kind of man he will grow to become and what he will accomplish in the future.

Enough about him...this is about me!!!! GOT MOVES TO MAKE PPL!!!! Rehearsal, practice, and business to do today. Ttyl!!

J-Bo