Not At All What I Wanted, But What I Needed

So I just finished auditioning for this guy in Queens and long story short I fucked it up.

There is no other way to put it...I was not at my best and that was my fault.

There has never been a time when someone has told me that I didn't have musicianship when singing a song. NEVER!!!!

I wanted to say performing, but to be honest I was just singing. I didn't prepare at all for it, and he was right in saying that I have a voice and a tremendous talent, but I have to put in more work. This I know.

The good thing is that instead of just saying ok and letting me leave he actually spent an hour coaching me and telling me what it is that he wants to see from me when I come back and audition again.

I know what I have to work on. I never want to feel like I am a sucker again...I know I am top notch and I will redeem myself.

So all in all I didn't get what I wanted, but I got what I needed.

I was reminded today the difference between the top 1% and the 99% of the world. God gave me a lot already...now it is my turn to step up and go from there.

I have a lot of work to do. I know what I must do and to be honest it doesn't look very easy, but I know.

Going to talk to my voice teachers ASAP and map out a game plan and get to work. June is when I start regular lessons again, and I am so ready to kick ass!!!!

So I am not going to the BFA recital tonight. I have opera chorus rehearsal and I have WORK to do.

Tomorrow I am back here most of the day and then I am in BK for awhile. Got a lot of running around to do, but I am not mad. As long as I get my work in.

As soon as I finished making a complete fool of myself I wanted to call...I wanted to reach out and...

Nevermind...just being random and letting my thoughts spill out onto the paper. :-)

Almost time for me to leave for rehearsal...I'll let you guys know how that goes.

Gotta be better than the audition today.

J-Bo

P.S. A couple that I used to fuck with saw me today on campus, but after what happened I don't deserve any love or attention. I have to redeem myself. But it was still nice to be wanted. :-P