Rain On My Parade

Hello all,

Today was a good day. I saw an awesome voice therapist who was giving me some nice compliments...I am a bit of an attention whore. :-)

Van went ahead and mind-fucked me. He made me think he was mad, and was going to just ditch me, but when I got out of the voice therapy lesson he was there. It was a pleasant surprise.

Everything today went pretty good, and I am looking forward to the recital. I am really looking forward to having a good time. Van just told me today that he won't be able to make my senior recital. To say the least it hurt really bad...now I am not mad anymore.

I am disappointed and sad that he is choosing not to come, but that is how it is. I am very annoyed and disappointed, but I am going to be ok. It sucks because if it was the other way around I'd make his without a shadow of a doubt. It also sucks because it would be ok to cancel his rehearsal if it was something that was deemed important by his family.

I forgot to tell you guys that Van is the Director of Music at his church, and he does a damn good job too. I know he got skills. So he has rehearsals on Friday, and you'd think as the Director of Music he has the right to do what he feels he needs to. Not so...rehearsal cannot be canceled for any reason.

But I promise sometime in the next few weeks or so rehearsal will be canceled for some reason. As long as it is a family approved event...

Oh well, I am going to rock the recital, and even if it is just me and a handful of people I am going to perform. I do hope he surprises me, but as much as he wants to be there for me and support me, he kinda doesn't want his family to be mad and talk about him more.

I get put to the back yet again. I sacrifice yet again...that boy is so lucky that I LOVE HIS UNGRATEFUL ASS!!!

Goodnight,
J-Bo