I love my boy Dan, and I miss him like you wouldn't believe. I also learned a lot about his love for God, and how he was raised and what he believes to be right and to be wrong. For example the big thing that he was raised to believe is that all healing comes from God. That modern medicine and all the likes are not to be used.
He did say that some did use medicine, and a doctor and such and they were seen as having less faith, and were looked down upon. I always respected him because he came with me to doctor's appointments, and to health expos. He never had much of an open mind, but over time that changed, and he became a man that saw God in everything.
That still didn't help him get over his fears. He felt that if he was to go to a doctor and use modern medicine that meant he was going to go to hell. It was and still is one of those things that scares and baffles me.
I wish there was something more I could do for him while he was still here. The reason I am writing this post is that last night I went to his cousins house...his cousin is a doctor, and of course the outcast of the family. I sat with him while he cried. He was so worried that he was going to hell. I couldn't believe it. He was doing great work helping, and healing people. Being there and giving people a way of moving forward and on.
He is great at both alternative and traditional medical practices. He focuses on being more preventative and proactive, so people won't be in the place to need a doctor. He showed me testimonials of people who were and are grateful for all his work. How can someone that is helping so many people feel that he is going to go to hell for it. He says it is something he fights with, but it gets better. He says when it comes on it comes on strong, but the death of his cousin really hit him hard.
I also found out that Dan's family is saying that he didn't pray enough, and he was displeasing to God so he died before his time. They said that this is his families generational curse, and that the only way to get past it is to pray and fast. That it hasn't been broken yet, because God is doing something.
What do you say to something like that? How do you fight a principality? I wish there was more I can do, and I will continue to be there for him, but I am lost.
It's the same thing that happened with Sean, and him being raised an extreme racist and bigot. What is going on with the Body of Christ. The sad thing is that there are so many denominations, and everyone feels they have the right way. I just ask that Jesus continue to love me, and be part of my life.
All this helps me to understand, but also baffles me. I am sure I have what Van calls my autistic face. I am just baffled. I need more help in understanding this. If I am really meant to be a intercessor, and a preacher then I have to do the work and get it done. I have to be honest and upfront and say I am scared out my ass...how do I know which way to go?
Sometimes I pity those who have their lives outlined for them...sometimes. It would be easier if I didn't know anything except one thing, and that was all that mattered.
Can ignorance be bliss?
Back to rehearsing...
J-Bo
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