We are not together...though we are still tied to each other. He says he has work to do and he does. I got him to take a personality test and it shows him why he does what he does, but it also shows him something else he doesn't want to see.
It shows him that even though he has a high sense of being an individual and doing his own thing, he is tied to being letting others decide things for him. He lets them decide what he does and how he acts. We can all see that this is a conflict, because even though he wants to break free, he also wants to be enslaved. It's kinda sad, but not uncommon...I read it is called the prison effect.
He can get past it, but it is his choice. I am his closest and best friend, and he is one of mine...I see why God put us together, but OMG!!!!!! He can be so aggravating. From all the stuff that he said in the last post, you can see also the conflict in him. I am here for him, and I will keep making him face himself. I still think the best thing for him is to come out of the closet to his family and then just move on. He is already out...he's just scared that his family will find out. He'd be the type to have two facebooks...one for his family and the other for him to be him.
I remember when he showed me pics of some PK and his husband. He was like he just up and got married and is now doing him, still in church, and happy. I remember how sad he was, because he wants that to be him. Is it wrong that I wanna sneak into his house now that almost everyone is gone...
HELP!!!!! :-)
J-Bo
P.S. Those behavioral assessments are really on point. He of course was happy to agree with all the points that he found flattering, but not the others. I really hope he takes a look, and see what is going on in his head. He maybe surprised.
Just get married already!!!!! :-)
ReplyDeletePatience son...patience.
ReplyDeleteWe all walk around with those conflicts...only the smart ones pay attention and start to work on themselves. He seems to be going in that direction thanks to you.
ReplyDeleteYou are changing each others lives!!!!
One day at a time...he obviously wants you.
ReplyDeleteI think it is clear that he wants his family support, but won't get it. The best thing that can happen is if they just excuse themselves and he proves he can be his own man.
If they don't care about him and are going to throw him away anyway, then he shouldn't waste his time trying to please them. They won't and don't appreciate and love him now.
He needs to just be him...why wait till they are dead and gone??
He needs to just do him. Keep working with him...he wants and needs the help. he is just stubborn and resistant.
ReplyDelete