Goodbye to another friend...

I just got in from seeing my friend in the hospital. He was suppose to be leaving for Alaska, but there were some complications. I think I should start at the beginning.

I had a great day in school. I sang...hung with friends, saw a recital and went out. I didn't stay out though because I am walking around on no food and water for the whole day. They offered to buy me food and stuff, but I was really interested in just getting to my bed. So I left to go home. While on the bus I get a call from Dan's cousin telling me to rush to the hospital...so I do.

Dan looks like he is about to go any minute. The lack of food has me really weak with emotions, and I start crying. He can't even cry...he has no more tears. It was one of the most horrible situations I have seen. He talked to me for 5 minutes telling me to never give up. To make sure that I love without abandon always...that, that is what being a Christian is about.

He died talking to me, and it is one of those things I will never forget. I sang his favorite spiritual that I introduced to him. I sang Give Me Jesus...the man managed one tear, and then he was out. I miss him so much. I know he has work to do, and I don't want him getting all weird and freaked out on me. :-)

On my way out I stopped in the "chapel" at the church to pray, and center myself. There was this kid balling his eyes out. I didn't want to say anything, but I felt compelled. Turns out it is a kid that just lost his mother, and he feels it is his fault because he is gay. What kind of poison has he been receiving to believe such lies.

We talked and in 45 minutes I was able to help him. I prayed with him, and we both got some stuff out. At the end of it he asked me how can I be sure that Jesus loves and accepts him..I had to smile. I told him what came from God, and he felt relieved...he felt blessed. I feel so good having God use me is such awesome ways.

J-Bo

P.S. Van came to the recital. He was late, but he did come.  What will tomorrow bring?

P.P.S. I need to stop crying. I lose Sean and I lose Dan. One to a disease, and another to hate...God you are testing my emotions. Both men that have changed a lot in their lives and left us too soon. You guys give me hope that people can change, no matter the fear and doubt.

P.P.P.S. It's weird because I feel Van's fighting spirit being riled up. That means he is hearing something he doesn't want to hear. I wonder what it is?? The only thing I can imagine is about his sexuality...he really wants to be straight...shame that he wants to rework the foundation of who he is. I was always taught that God makes no mistakes, and we are who we are.