Semi Professional

Today was a good day.

Talked to some attorneys and business people.

Set up an appointment with a famous music producer (not Rodney Jerkins...believe me I wish it was.)

And the opera I am working on is coming together. It just got a little more complicated cause they want us off book. So I have to memorize all of Ernani chorus music for 2nd bass. Not that I am worried, but it is what it is.

We are performing at symphony space with a full orchestra. Just gotta get out of the back and into the lead!!! CANNOT WAIT!!!

And I maybe finishing my album sooner than I thought...just gotta focus and get things moving.

God has been blessing me so much. Soon I will be financially free, my health is on the rise, and I am almost totally on my own.

Only thing missing is someone to spend my time with, but that will come. Still celibate...though I have been tempted so much. Someone on campus was acting like a groupie following me around talking about my voice and talent.

Almost had sex with her just because she was so damn thirsty for it. Smh.

Time for bed...my girl Alli is performing her recital tomorrow and I need to be there.

J-Bo

Jason Collins: The First In HISTORY!!!

Now this is a real man right here. I commend his courage and his candor. Read on to see what he says and his words. This man is someone to look up to and will be considered a brave man.

This article comes to you from one of my favorite masculine black gay male sites: www.discreetcity.com

J-Bo

“I go against the gay stereotype.” Jason Collins

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THANK YOU JASON COLLINS.

I am happy history has now been made.  Jason Collins, an active (non-retired) professional athlete, has come out of the closet. Correction. A black non-stereotypical gay athlete has come out of the closet.  He did it boldly and proudly not via a vague coded letter over his tumbler account.

Like rejecting the ball from an opponent who is attempting to score, Collins is a rejection of the typical feminine, flamboyant black gay caricature that dominates the media.

He was not “outed” by some jilted scheming ex-lover with dreams of fame.  He was not exposed by any of the numerous gossip websites who hope to be the first to get the “scoop” on breaking scandal.

He did it on his terms and with style and class.  He did it his way.  He invited two Sports Illustrated writers to his home and made his public declaration.  He simply stated, "I'm a 34-year-old NBA center. I'm black. And I'm gay” thus gaining his power.

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Continue Reading, In Just One Click.

Collins has played for six teams in 12 NBA seasons and has been a starter in two Finals.  Why did he do it? He states that he came Out because he was “tired.”

“Tired of being alone, tired of coming home to an empty house, tired of relying on his German Shepherd (Shadow), for company, tired of watching friends and family members find spouses and become parents, tired of telling lies and half-truths and using “cover stories”.

He stated “The strain of hiding my sexuality became almost unbearable in March, when the U.S. Supreme Court heard arguments for and against same-sex marriage.  Less than three miles from my apartment, nine jurists argued about my happiness and my future”

Collins also stated “When I was younger I dated women. I even got engaged. I thought I had to live a certain way. I thought I needed to marry a woman and raise kids with her. I kept telling myself the sky was red, but I always knew it was blue.”

Does this sound familiar?

He goes onto say “Well, I started thinking about this in 2011 during the NBA player lockout. I'm a creature of routine. When the regular season ends I immediately dedicate myself to getting game ready for the opener of the next campaign in the fall. But the lockout wreaked havoc on my habits and forced me to confront who I really am and what I really want. With the season delayed, I trained and worked out. But I lacked the distraction that basketball had always provided.”

As I have stated before, sometime solitude can be a virtue.  At some point in your life, you have to deal with who you really are as a person.

Unlike some other players in the NBA, NFL and MLB, Collins is a 34-year-old, well spoken, intelligent man.  You have never heard of Collins fighting in some club, being arrested for DUI or soliciting male prostitutes.  So far (and I don’t think this will change) he has lived his life discreetly.

He says in the Sports Illustrated interview, “The biggest concern seems to be that gay players will behave unprofessionally in the locker room. Believe me; I've taken plenty of showers in 12 seasons. My behavior wasn't an issue before, and it won't be one now. My conduct won't change. I still abide by the adage, What happens in the locker room stays in the locker room. I'm still a model of discretion.”

Already the accolades of encouragement have begun to pour in.  From Kobe Bryant, Steve Nash, Bill Clinton, and Russell Simmons all are offering their support.

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Notable Quotes From The Sports Illustrated Article

"I'm the guy on the court who doesn't like to draw attention to himself, who wants to lead by example.”

“Personally, I don't like to dwell in someone else's private life, and I hope players and coaches show me the same respect.”

“I've never sought the spotlight. Though I'm coming out to the world, I intend to guard my privacy.”

Thank You, Jason Collins, for showing us the power of living in your truth.  Thank You for showing us that intelligent masculine black gay men exist and finally, Thank You for proving there is absolutely nothing wrong with living your life discreetly.

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You can read the full story at Sports Illustrated.

- Ocky

How Do You Guys Feel About This One?

Now this is something that throws me for a loop.

This is another reason why I say that I have to at the very least respect people if I want them to respect me.

I am not perfect and I am glad for that. I realize that God doesn't want me to be perfect...he wants me to be whole.

Anyway I saw this on Facebook and wanted to share it with you all. Now with the exception that Jesus wasn't really born on December 25th...he was born in the summer.

His birthday was conveniently changed to coincide with the then pagan celebration called the Winter Solstice.

I wonder where do people learn that one fact from? Not in church cause that would spark to many questions and discussions. Things that a lot of church leaders don't want...

People complain about the government and politicians being sneaky and bad...they forget that the oldest form of government is the religious institutions. Well that and the monarchs.

So here is a little information for you guys...if anyone has anything to say against it please lemme know. I don't know how to explain it...it can't be reincarnation...or can it be?? My best guess right now is that obviously God didn't just show up when the bible said he did...and that there is proof that there are many more bible stories that didn't make it into the English translations.

Very interesting...no wonder people don't like to think for themselves...this is real work.

J-Bo

Weird Ass Thing This Morning

I forgot to mention this...on the ride to the city I'm driving and kept picturing, tasting, and smelling Van's dick.

Wtf was that about?!?!??

I sometimes think of him throughout the day if my mind is allowed to wonder, but that was crazy.

I ALMOST CRASHED!!!

That was freaky!!!

But now back to this senior recital!!! Learning a lot.

J-Bo

Enlightenment...We Are All God's Beloveds

So I was having a conversation with a few musicians on the importance of developing a great ear and also being able to do things by sight.

It's the classic contemporary musician vs. classical musician.

Musicians such as jazz and gospel don't usually come into the music world knowing how to sight read and sight sing.

They usually come into the world developing their ears and knowing musical patterns that repeat in all music.

Classical musicians on the other hand spend a lot of time sight singing and sight reading their works. Performing by ear comes into it, but not like other genres.

I want to be a total musician so I am working hard at the sight singing and sight reading. My ears are already 100x better and I can pick out melodies and sing them much easier. I am even picking out songs and playing by ear fast.

Just gotta practice on my other instruments is all.

This is a requirement cause I am getting more and more stuff that straddles both sides. More classical stuff and popular stuff.

The big thing in music I am working on now is my album. It isn't going to be a gospel album even though my friends want me to do one of those. I have to follow my heart and I know where I am being called and led to.

I cannot do all I can and must do if I am worried and concerned about the judgements and limitations that the church would put on me. God rarely has me stay in the box and comfort zone so I already know if I try to do gospel first and then breathe I will be met with hate and opposition.

But if I do what I am suppose to do and then bring the church in and show people God that way then I can reach more people.

But enough of that. I had a conversation also with one of my musician friends and they made it a point of attacking me for my acceptance and communion with all. I said what is wrong with that. She said that we know the truth and all else is wrong and we shouldn't talk to them for too long.

I had to give her a history lesson. I am going to share it with all of you, and take note that just about all of these came before Christ was alive. That is why you cannot put a limit on God cause if you really look you will find him everywhere!!!!

J-Bo

P.S. I am not saying that one should give up their beliefs and traditions...just expand upon them and realize that all because this (whatever it is is custom, ordinary, and within your comfort zone) is what you know doesn't make it the full truth.

------------------------------------------------------------------------

From God Almighty to Man

There are two religions in the world: the religion of God; and the religion of man.

The religion of man is filled with confusion, divided up into innumerable warring and independent sects, infighting and chaos. The religion of God is One and has been given progressively throughout human history to unite the hearts, elevate the souls of men and bring about a state and condition of spirituality to uplift the human spirit, create man in the image of God -- love, justice, generosity, concord, fidelity, harmony, etc... -- and to free the human mind from blind imitation and slavish devotion to false creeds and man-made dogmas. In this light we can see the TRUTH of the true religion of God woven like a GOLDEN THREAD throughout all faiths whose origin is from Him in the form of the GOLDEN RULE.

The purpose of the this article is to show the PROOF of this golden thread of unity throughout God's Cause in every land and in every scripture in which it has appeared from the first of time in written history unto today. Considering the lofty goal and sublime aim of God in choosing to reveal Himself to man, it is hard for us to imagine, in this day of crooks, cheats and charlatans, what could be a more corrupt or dirty business than religion gone bad. From government to the church, the politician and the preacher, some have said that those who have the gold make the rules: and they sell Jesus Christ on the cross for the almighty dollar. This IS NOT the golden rule, where those who have the gold make the rules, for the scripture says, that "love of money is the root of all evil." Clearly, when it comes to God and religion, any intelligent person can see that the bath water, so to speak, is certainly dirty -- but we don't want to throw the baby out with the dirty bath water!

Thus there is a real truth for the Golden Rule, the one that comes from the One True Invisible God and not from fallible man. In this short article we will see this golden theme, found like a golden thread woven throughout all the true religions of God that are practiced by people of world faith throughout this great and good world of God's green earth.

If all people would practice the Golden Rule: "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you" we can not imagine any better form and foundation for the end of war, a spiritual solution to the economic problem, and the establishment of a universal and everlasting Kingdom of justice and peace on earth for all mankind. Read this article and open your mind to the eye of God Himself, even as Jesus hath said: "Seek ye the truth and the truth will set you free."

THE GOLDEN RULE

JESUS CHRIST:

"Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?"

"Jesus said to him, You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your mind and with all your soul… and You shall love your neighbor as yourself."
(Jesus Christ, Matthew 22:36-40)

BAHA'U'LLAH:

"O son of man! If thine eyes be turned towards mercy, forsake the things that profit thee and cleave unto that which will profit mankind. And if thine eyes be turned towards justice, choose thou for thy neighbour that which thou choosest for thyself."
(Baha'u'llah, The third Leaf of the Most Exalted Paradise, Tablets, p. 64)

BUDDHISM:

"Hurt not others with that which pains yourself or in ways that you yourself would find hurtful. One should seek for others the happiness one desires for one's self"
(Udana-Varqa, 5:18)

HINDUISM:

"This is the sum of duty: do naught unto others that which would cause pain if done unto you."
(Mahabharata 5:1517)

"Do not to others what ye do not wish done to yourself; and wish for others too, what ye desire and long for, for yourself. This is the whole of Dharma, heed it well."
(The Celestial Song, 2:65)

ZOROASTRIANISM:

"That nature ONLY is good when it shall NOT DO unto another whatever is not good for its own self."
(Dadistan-i-Dinik, 94:5)

"Whatsoever is disagreeable to yourself do not do unto others."
(Shayast-na-Shayast 13:29)

That which is good for all and any one, for whomsoever - that is good for me. What I hold good for self, I should for all. Only Law Universal, is true Law."
(Zoroaster, Yasana-Gathas)

JAINIST:

"A man should wander about treating all creatures as he himself would be treated."
(Sutrakritanga 1.11.33)

SIKH:

"Precious like jewels are the minds of all. To hurt them is not at all good. If thou desirest thy Beloved, then hurt thou not anyone's heart."
(Guru Aranj Devji 259, Guru Granth Sahib)

CONFUCIANISM:

"Do not unto others what you would not have them do unto you."
(Analects, 15:23)

"If one strives to treat others as he would be treated by them, he will come near the perfect life."
(Book of Meng Tzu)

WESTERN SCHOOLS:

"What you wish your neighbors to be to you, such be also to them."
(Pythagorean)

"We should conduct ourselves toward others as we would have them act toward us."
(Aristotle, from Plato and Socrates)

"Avoid doing what you would blame others for doing."
(Thales)

"Do not to your neighbor what you would take ill from him."
(Pittacus)

"Cherish reciprocal benevolence, which will make you as anxious for another's welfare as your own"
(Aristippus of Cyrene).

"Act toward others as you desire them to act toward you"
(Isocrates)

TAO:

"Pity the misfortunes of others; rejoice in the well-being of others; help those who are in want; save men in danger; rejoice at the success of others; and sympathise with their reverses, even as though YOU WERE in their place."

"The sage has no interests of his own, but regards the interests of the people as his own. He is kind to the kind, he is also kind to the unkind: for virtue is kind."
(T'ai Shang Kan Ying P'ien)

NATIVE AMERICAN:

"Love your friend and never desert him. If you see him surrounded by the enemy do not run away; go to him, and if you cannot save him, be killed together and let your bones lie side by side."
(Sur-AR-Ale-Shar, The Lessons of the Lone Chief)

"Do not kill or injure your neighbor, for it is not him that you injure, you injure yourself. But do good to him, therefore add to his days of happiness as you add to your own. Do not wrong or hate your neighbor, for it is not him that you wrong, you wrong yourself. But love him, for The Great Spirit (Moneto) loves him also as he loves you."
(Shawnee)

"Respect for all life is the foundation."
(The Great Law of Peace)

AFRICAN TRADITIONAL RELIGION:

"A SAGE is ingenuous and leads his life after comprehending the parity of the killed and the killer. THEREFORE, neither does he cause violence to others nor does he make others do so."
(Yoruba Proverb, Nigeria)

"One going to take a pointed stick to pinch a baby bird should first try it on himself to feel how it hurts."
(Yoruba Proverb, Nigeria)

ISLAM:

"Not one of you is a believer until he desires for another that which he desires for himself."
(Muhammad, 40 Hadith of an-Nawawi 13)

"Do unto all men as you would they should do unto you, and reject for them that which you would reject for yourself."
(Mishkat-el-Masabih)

JUDAISM:

"What is hateful to you, DO NOT to your fellow man. That is the law: all the rest is commentary."
(Talmud, Shabbat 31a)

"Thou shalt LOVE thy neighbor as thyself: I am the LORD."
(Moses, Leviticus 19:18)

CHRISTIANITY:

"All things whatsoever ye would that men should do to you, do ye even so to them."
(Matthew 7:12)

"Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."
(Luke 6:31)

BAHA'I WORLD FAITH:

"Blessed is he who preferreth his brother before himself."
(Baha'u'llah, Tablets, p. 71)

"Lay not on any soul a load which ye would not wish to be laid on you, and desire not for any one the things ye would not desire for yourselves."
(Baha'u'llah, Gleanings LXVI, p. 128)

"Ascribe not to any soul that which thou wouldst not have ascribed to thee, and say not that which thou doest not. This is my command unto thee, do thou observe it."
(Baha'u'llah, The Hidden Words, Arabic # 29)

"Choose for thy neighbor that which thou choosest for thyself."
(Baha'u'llah, Epistle to the Son of the Wolf, p. 30)

From the Sacred Will and Testament of 'ABDU'L-BAHA:

"O ye beloved of the Lord! In this sacred Dispensation, conflict and contention are in no wise permitted. Every aggressor deprives himself of God's grace. It is incumbent upon everyone to show the utmost love, rectitude of conduct, straightforwardness and sincere kindliness unto all the peoples and kindreds of the world, be they friends or strangers. So intense must be the spirit of love and loving kindness, that the stranger may find himself a friend, the enemy a true brother, no difference whatsoever existing between them. For universality is of God and all limitations earthly. Thus man must strive that his reality may manifest virtues and perfections, the light whereof may shine upon everyone. The light of the sun shineth upon all the world and the merciful showers of Divine Providence fall upon all peoples. The vivifying breeze reviveth every living creature and all beings endued with life obtain their share and portion at His heavenly board. In like manner, the affections and loving kindness of the servants of the One True God must be bountifully and universally extended to all mankind. Regarding this, restrictions and limitations are in no wise permitted.

"Wherefore, O my loving friends! Consort with all the peoples, kindreds and religions of the world with the utmost truthfulness, uprightness, faithfulness, kindliness, good-will and friendliness, that all the world of being may be filled with the holy ecstasy of the grace of Baha, that ignorance, enmity, hate and rancor may vanish from the world and the darkness of estrangement amidst the peoples and kindreds of the world may give way to the Light of Unity. Should other peoples and nations be unfaithful to you show your fidelity unto them, should they be unjust toward you show justice towards them, should they keep aloof from you attract them to yourselves, should they show their enmity be friendly towards them, should they poison your lives, sweeten their souls, should they inflict a wound upon you, be a salve to their sores. Such are the attributes of the sincere! Such are the attributes of the truthful."

(The Sacred Will and Testament of 'Abdu'l-Baha, pp.13-14)

Conclusion

Therefore, the source of all true religions is one. And this single source is the One True Invisible God that has been made known. All peoples of both the Eastern and Western worlds, of both the Eastern and Western schools and philosophies, have been guided by the Merciful and Living God, through the appearance of the Divine Manifestations of Himself, the Nine Great Revelators of this last 6000 years Adamic Cycle, into this Universal Teaching of this Universal Law of Justice, Mercy and Love!

The word "religion" comes form the Latin "religio" which means to "bind together" (like a bundle of sticks). But today people are DIVIDED up according to the many religions, cults and sects. Thus this is NOT religion, but it is truly IRRELIGION, as it separates the gathering of the peoples.

The true religion unites the hearts and minds of man through the Oneness of Humanity and the independent, unfettered investigation of the truth. When we see the light of the truth with our own eyes and not through the eyes of our neighbour, then and only then, will ALL people of race, creed, nationality, color and persuasion be truly united. All mankind will be united like one soul in one body.

Glad I Went To Church

This comes to you guys a little late. When I got home from church yesterday I just slept and slept and woke up not too long ago. It's 4am now and I was officialy awake at 3am. I think I got home by 6pm and just went to sleep right away.

I still feel some pressure in the front left part of my head, but it could be anything...I still have this stupid head cold and it is killing me.

Church was very good...despite the fact that I was tired and felt that Bishop was rambling on and on at some points. I just wanted it to end so I could go home and sleep. :-)

Ended up going to my friend's house and chilling with his wife till my ride came. It's funny how in the past I didn't like her. I now know what it was that was the problem. His last girlfriend came from the same church she did, and his last girlfriend was super religious and super churchy.

She was led and influenced by her families every decision. She may have been the oldest, but she did seem like the one most dependent on them.

When my friend started dating his now wife unconsciously I was putting her in the same box.

I am glad to say I was wrong. She even asked us if she was religious and churchy and we both laughed and said no. She really isn't.

I am glad that I was able to get past my own judgements and see the girl for who she really is. She has proven to be someone that I can trust my friend to and that makes me happy. Now if the rest of us can find that too we'll all be better off.

Church was good...learned something. It was all about the different types of prayers (which I knew the 5 types) and the ways to get answered prayers based on the scriptures that was very informative.

All in all a good day. I am heading to the campus now...gotta get outta here. Still didn't learn all of my music for the opera chorus and I gotta do that. -_-

Just was so damn tired, but no excuses...gotta be professional.

See you all later.

J-Bo

Le Secret by Gabriel Fauré

I am about to go to bed, but was listening to one of the new songs that one of my voice teachers gave me.

I am going to let you guys take a listen.

I couldn't find any bass, baritones, or bass-baritones singing it so I went with Barbara Bonney. A well known soprano that I know and have much respect for.

Lemme change that...there was in fact many men singing this, but it was all college recitals and such. I want to see and hear professionals...just because that is what I aim to be.

Anyway here it is...tomorrow hopefully I can do my language homework.

J-Bo

Limbo

Hello all...

First off I want to say that today was a beautiful day. It was so nice outside, and my friend drove up here with his family to look for a place to live. They came and chilled for awhile and then left. So that was real nice and a blessing.

Now the reason why I call this post limbo is because that is how I feel. I feel like I am stuck.

I know that I was talking about making moves and doing things, but today wasn't what I wanted.

I think it is because I head into the city everyday and have to get up super early everyday and that wears me out. Even now I wish I had a week to do nothing. :-)

I don't know how my mother does it...I am tempted to not even go to church tomorrow and sleep. But I am going to go...which means I should call it a night early tonight.

Still celibate...not easy. I decided to practice and see if I still had game. It wasn't until the 5th woman that I was talking to that things started to really flow. By the time I was done she was so ready to gimme what I want that it was too easy.

I of course left, but it was so hard. I am so horny and tired of denying myself. But I know what I want. I want to be in a relationship...no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

So I guess that today was just a lazy day...and it is because I am so sleep deprived. I just have to keep up the momentum...I have to try to maintain balance, but it isn't easy. I have to admit that going for the top 1% is hard...HARD!!!!

Hard as in tears running down my face.

I am going to do better...I have to do better. There is no choice but to do that.

No wonder so many people just get by and the gap between the haves and have nots are so wide. This isn't a game...this is real hard work. And the sad thing is that it is uncharted territory...enough is enough.

I have been slacking on my main business website. Why?? BECAUSE I AM NOT DOING THE WORK!!!! I hate that about myself.

I have to get to it, and I promise to get it done this week. To start making some magic happen...just getting it started is the key.

I was asked this question by one of me mentees: "Would you marry someone who was hot and rich and was the envy of everyone else?"

I said no. I don't care if I end up with someone no one else considers to be hot, sexy, and beautiful but me. I want someone who has a heart for God, a personal relationship with God, a complete full person who is choosing to be with me, not someone who needs to be with me. I am not looking for my better 1/2. I am looking for my whole and complete.

I got a lot to do...no time like the present. Time for bed and time to sleep...church in the morning.

J-Bo

Song That Tells What I Am Feeling In The Love Department

J-Bo

Response and Thoughts to Last Post

I am going to make this short and sweet.

My bed is calling me and I need to get up early in the morning...that and I smell kinda ripe. :-)

But the bottom line is that I know you are who are. God does not make mistakes and that includes sexual orientations and desires.

Now with that being said there are gay men and women who are married to the opposite sex...in essence going against their God given natures but that is their call...

My friend the Pastor is married to a woman and has children, but he knows he is gay and with the man of his dreams who is supporting him in his dreams and desires. Their relationship is a little messy and complicated for me, but that is not for me to understand.

When I think of this it makes me think of the many church children who are gay who are getting married and into relationships that they feel is "right." That is their call.

I do support conversion therapy cause it doesn't work, and in fact is totally destructive and against all that is natural.

Praying the gay away doesn't work cause well...there is no such thing as praying away that which is perfect within you. God is perfect in his decisions and designs...it is only us that seem to be confused.

But the one thing that I will respect is how people want to live their lives. Since I've left Van I've seen more people that are conflicted in the church and they are willing to do what Van is willing to do. Either spend the rest of their life alone as to play it safe. Better to do nothing and stay safe than make a move and be wrong.

Or they will just get hooked up and married to those who they are linked to...either through family, friends, or church members.

That is their choice...

I don't think God would want us to live our life doing things to make people happy at the risk of losing a piece of who we are.

I thank God for sending me Van. Through him I felt and experienced true love, commitment, joy, and happiness.

Van has said on many occasions if he didn't believe it wrong he'd marry me on the spot. I know he was truly happy with me. He was truly in heaven with me...if even for a short while. I don't ask for anything more cause I got more than I deserved. God truly does bless abundantly.

I still have feelings of being with a woman not because I am more attracted to them then men, but because it would be easier to fit in and just fall in line with what I was originally raised to believe is right.

I don't want that...I want to be true to myself. Yes I love women, but I will marry and spend my life with a man that God has ordained just for me. It is what it is, and the sooner I get over making others happy and comfortable and start living for me and God the better and more fulfilling my life will be.

He heals me.

So I believe people should be and embrace who they are. Stand in their truth. Call a thing a thing.

But I also believe that people will be who they are. So if you want to be free and just be who you are than you can. You can find people who will love you, adore you, and support you.

Or you can go the other way which is fine as well. You can do what you feel you must to keep the picture and vision alive of what has been handed down to you. It is what it is...I will love and support the people.

J-Bo

P.S. Things are looking way up. Business is BOOMING!!! Can't wait to be debt free, rich, and then the next step. God is working.

P.P.S. I got songs to work on...and I have to record everything. Doing an album isn't easy...especially when doing 100 other things.

P.P.P.S. I cannot be mad at Van. He did tell me that he felt I was on another level from him and he wasn't in the place to give me what I needed. I shoulda believed him and trusted him...maybe in the future we can meet as friends and go from there. He did warn me...he did tell me that I am on a whole other level...and one of my mentors did say I am 27 with the wisdom of someone 4x my age, and Van on the other hand is young and sheltered. He has lived his life only seeing one thing and being told what and how to think. I do miss him, he gave wise counsel. Only God knows...I wish him well being a doctor. That will make him proud...he said he wanted to at least try for it and then go on doing what he wants to do...he said if he didn't he'd feel cheated and like he was missing out. Don't want that to happen.

Don't Let This Be You or Someone You Love

So this is all about aversion therapy and the ex-gay movement. This literally moves me to tears and pisses me off. I am ready to fucking attack someone, but I have to keep my cool.

In my next post that will come very soon I will give my opinion and thoughts, but for right now enjoy this. I wanted to give you both sides of the argument that was in article. I didn't want to be seen as bias and give you all the information as it appears.

Here are the facts from this website: http://www.pqmonthly.com/update-john-paulk-apologizes-for-ex-gay-gospel-wife-ann-says-shell-pray-for-him/14177

John Paulk Apologizes for Ex-Gay Gospel, Wife Ann Says She’ll Pray for Him

UPDATE: A response from The Evangelical Network now appears below the statements made by John and Ann Paulk.

By Erin Rook, PQ Monthly

John Paulk, a Portland caterer and former poster boy for the ex-gay movement, renounced his past in a recent interview with PQ Monthly (read the exclusive here). Today, Paulk issued a formal apology via a press release distributed by GLAAD.
Paulk’s apology:

“For the better part of ten years, I was an advocate and spokesman for what’s known as the “ex-gay movement,” where we declared that sexual orientation could be changed through a close-knit relationship with God, intensive therapy and strong determination. At the time, I truly believed that it would happen. And while many things in my life did change as a Christian, my sexual orientation did not.

So in 2003, I left the public ministry and gave up my role as a spokesman for the “ex-gay movement.” I began a new journey. In the decade since, my beliefs have changed. Today, I do not consider myself “ex-gay” and I no longer support or promote the movement. Please allow me to be clear: I do not believe that reparative therapy changes sexual orientation; in fact, it does great harm to many people.

I know that countless people were harmed by things I said and did in the past, Parents, families, and their loved ones were negatively impacted by the notion of reparative therapy and the message of change. I am truly, truly sorry for the pain I have caused.

From the bottom of my heart I wish I could take back my words and actions that caused anger, depression, guilt and hopelessness. In their place I want to extend love, hope, tenderness, joy and the truth that gay people are loved by God.

Today, I see LGBT people for who they are–beloved, cherished children of God. I offer my most sincere and heartfelt apology to men, women, and especially children and teens who felt unlovable, unworthy, shamed or thrown away by God or the church.

I want to offer my sincere thanks to everyone who encouraged me to take this initial step of transparency. Even while promoting “ex-gay” programs, there were those who called me on my own words and actions. I’m sure I didn’t appreciate it at the time, but they have helped me to realize this truth about who I am.

This is a life transition that has been and will continue to be, challenging. Sadly, my marriage of 20 years is in the process of ending. I want to take the time to make sure my next actions come from a place of truth and authenticity. Therefore, I’m drastically limiting my public engagement until my own personal life can be settled. After that I eagerly anticipate giving back to the community.

Finally, I know there are still accounts of my “ex-gay” testimony out there being publicized by various groups, including two books that I wrote about my journey. I don’t get any royalties from these publications, and haven’t since I left the ministry nearly ten years ago. I discourage anyone from purchasing and selling these books or promoting my “ex-gay” story because they do not reflect who I am now or what I believe today.”

His wife, Ann, released a statement of her own on April 22 through the Restored Hope Network — an organization “committed to serving those seeking Christ-centered answers for sexual and relational problems” – in response to her estranged husband’s “interview with certain members of the gay press”:

“Challenges have been mine over the past several years… not of my own design, but I have stood true in the profound strength I found in Christ Jesus. I have walked the path that God has put before me, alongside those I love. There are also certain paths I have refused to walk down, dark and dangerous paths of deceit and sin. 

Someone dear to me has made different choices followed by very different words. And there, on that path, our ways part sadly.

Many of you already know, and some have yet to know, that John and I are in the process of divorce. I do pray the very best for John and I have a greater love and affection than can be expressed in words. He is the father of my children, the man with whom I spent the past 21 years building a life together. His conclusions and mine are very different in key ways. I would ask that you join me in praying for his decisions regarding his future, hope, God’s truest freedom, and love to direct his decisions. Please also pray for the boys and myself as we also find our way forward.

Besides the personal statement above, I will be releasing a public statement as it becomes relevant. This is all that I would like to share concerning my marriage on Facebook… As I do media interviews, my focus is on getting the word out about Restored Hope Network and what God can do in a surrendered life. 

Christ is still at work changing lives into conformity with God’s will expressed in the Bible. I also realize that my life experiences have given me an invaluable empathy for those who suffer various types of grief and loss.”

She added later in the day:

“All questions regarding John’s personal life and words should be directed to him. I have been true to my marriage vows and true to Christ. 

Though my heart has been tremendously grieved by John’s words and moral choices, I have chosen–and will continue to choose–to follow Christ, care for my boys, and serve Restored Hope Network. Please pray for John as he makes choices regarding his future.”

What’s your take on the apology, and his wife’s continued work with ex-gay ministries?

UPDATE: The Evangelical Network, “an association of LGBT&S affirming evangelical ministries and individuals,” today released the following response to Paulk’s statement:

The Evangelical Network on John Paulk, Ex-Gay Therapy

To admit that you have made a mistake is difficult for most people. Acknowledging that you have hurt people can be even harder. In such circumstances the repercussions often include a high price, but this can also be necessary in truly understanding God’s grace. John Paulk’s apology to the lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender community for his involvement in Exodus and ex-gay or reparative therapy programs is a big step in that direction.

Todd Ferrell, President, The Evangelical Network explained, “In 2012 I engaged in an ongoing dialog with John Paulk. It was obvious that he had been on a journey toward self-acceptance as a Christian gay man. No doubt that has been a difficult journey. Many of us have struggled with self-acceptance. I am glad that he recognizes the hurt that he has caused people in the past and is willing to publicly apologize for his past stance opposing homosexuality, and diverse gender identities.”

Paulk’s apology will not erase the pain suffered by many Christian LGBT people who believed the false teachings which claimed through prayer, counseling, and group therapy that their sexual orientation or gender identity would change. This will take time. Ferrell concluded, “People who were impacted by Paulk should be able to voice their frustrations, and release those emotions. 

It is important to remember however that we are all human. We have all made mistakes. We should reflect that Jesus taught forgiveness. Forgiveness is at the core of how we as Christians are to interact with each other, including those who have hurt us. John, the road ahead will no doubt be perhaps the roughest you have ever traveled. The Evangelical Network will always be there to listen and not judge you as you move forward.”

Since 1988 The Evangelical Network has been a support organization for LGBT Christians and especially those who come from an evangelical background. If someone is struggling with reconciling their Christian faith with their sexual orientation or gender identity please feel free to contact us. We believe there is no conflict with being Christian and LGBT.

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J-Bo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=9zRS5ZO72AI

NYC At It's Finest!!!

I LOVE MY CITY!!!!!!

Just finished tutoring a kid and a rehearsal. Now it is time to relax and head home. Wanted to share this with u guys.

J-Bo

96 Years Old Today

So my grandmother has reached the ripe young age of 96 years. She said she is feeling strong and will be around to 104. I believe her...her spirit is both strong and gentle. That is the woman who taught me the difference between being religious and being spiritual and developing my own relationship with God.

I just want her to see me on the opera stage and the Grammies!!!! That is all I want...and to hear my first album in the popular and classical world. I of course have to do an album of hymns and spirituals for her...she loves them songs.

So I am still here in the city getting ready to leave. I gotta come back tomorrow and tutor some kid around Columbus Circle and then I am free till God knows what time.

Is it weird that sometimes I still kinda look for him around certain corners...I still think to listen and look for him in the practice rooms??

I will be there from 7am to 12pm. and then back again at 5. Got a lot to do. Then I am back at it again on Monday. Things are looking up...I just have to rise to the occasion. Meet God where he is waiting for me.

I wonder if he is dating someone already and they are engaged and ready to be wed off. I keep getting the feeling that...I need to stop. I know what is going on.

You get what you focus on. What you focus on becomes real even if it in fact has no basis in reality. Our beliefs affect our focus to the millionth degree. So I need to stop focusing on the fact that he hates me and sees me as the enemy. I need to focus on the fact that he is happy and his family is happy with him.

I know that as long as he has their approval and as long as he is living up to what he was raised to believe was right he will love it...he will be happy.

I just hate being thrown away like I am garbage.

That is all I want for him...and for me. Actually I want more than to be happy...I want joy, ecstatic pleasure, fulfillment, and overabundance. I don't want to settle for whatever comes my way...just barely making it.

NOT FOR ME!!!!

There are men, women, and children waiting on me to do something and get to where I need to be for the next level.

LET'S GO!!!!

J-Bo

A Very Unique Problem

So I have a little unique problem.

I am making money and started a business, but I feel stuck. The problem I am having is that it isn't a real business...it's a self employed business. I mean it is way better than being an employee, but still I have a very unique problem.

I have a business, but it is not one that I like...not one that I care about.

Lemme change that. I do care about what I am doing...ultimately I am helping and providing a service to these parents and kids. I just don't like the business model I am using.

I am no better than a CPA, doctor, or attorney. My income is in direct proportion to the amount of work I put in. The only thing is that no one tells me when and where to be someplace. So instead of relying on Gap for a paycheck I am in control of my own financial life.

That part is cool. But that is also the problem. Lemme put it the way I plan on building my music career.

As a performer I am technically self employed. I go out and drum up my own business. I sign contracts with venues, companies, and more. If I don't perform then I don't make any money. That is why recording artist collect the majority of their money on touring...the same goes for all music artist in all genres.

I get paid for every gig that I do, and that means arenas as well as opera concert halls. If I don't sing then my income dries up.

If I was a doctor it'd be the same way...I make money as long as I see patients, keep cutting ppl open, keep giving drugs, etc.

On the other side of things the reason why I am into songwriting and producing is because I can write a song one time and if it is a hit or on a hit album whenever it gets performed in any media I get paid.

Whether it is a club, bar, elevator, radio, etc. The same for a producer...PASSIVE INCOME!!!!

Right now I am getting income, but it is all based on my back. I mean this country/world is falling apart financially. The truth is that the gap between the haves and have nots is so wide that it is crazy.

It is very true that my parents will not have enough to keep their current standard of living as they retire. Right now we are upper middle class, but when they retire they will be living life in the poor bracket.

Not because they did something wrong so to speak...just the way it is. Standard of living is increasing and most people will need more money as they get older...not less.

So that is something on my back...I know what I have to do. I gotta be that support for them.

So bottom line I am not liking the self employed thing...at least a total self employed. I love to perform and getting paid for that is nothing short of awesome. That and I love to know I am getting a paycheck for my work...I just don't want my life to depend on that.

So my plans is to transition as much as possible from a self-employed entrepreneur to a business owner and investor.  To join the ranks of the super rich and wealthy...I have my plan in place.

Let the games begin!!!!!

J-Bo

P.S. I know who holds tomorrow. BLESSINGS GALORE!!!!!!!!! :-D

VERDI'S ERNANI!!!

So today I had the very first rehearsal with this small opera company. The thing that I love about them is that they give people the chance to do lead and supporting roles. That is very enticing.

That and appartantly the man who is incharge is like another version of David Jones...the wonderful man. I am looking to see if my voice teachers know who he is cause I do so love the Old School Swedish Italian School of training.

So things are looking up. My auditions and my competitions are coming along nicely. Things are looking up.

Now to make sure my money, finance, and businesses are going the same way. UP UP UP!!!!!

I met Ryan Speedo Green and we had a good time. I also saw Deborah Voigt and Bryn Terfel when I was around Lincoln Center...I didn't stop them but they looked so majestic!!!!!

I so want to meet Luca Pisaroni.

Enough of that. I am ready to go to bed. I have a long day of lessons, teaching, mentoring, singing, and building my business.

I was driving around Lincoln Center and saw a gay couple at the fountain having fun...made me think of me and Van. Oh well...he is off to medical school probably already involved with someone else.

I did hear from a mutual friend of ours that he is off doing him and he is well moved on. That he is going to some program in the summer and he has forgotten me, and that he could even be with someone else. It saddens me, but I understand. To him I am evil and no good. Being around me is the same as heading straight to hell.

I was asked by some ppl today about him. I just told him he is going to medical school and maybe he'll pop up and say hi to them soon.

Doing this opera has me thinking of what he would say and wishing he'd come see me perform it.  :-(

Enough about that. Tomorrow is a long day and I have so much to do.

Night people!!!!!

Another update tomorrow.

J-Bo

Make My Day

Can I just say that today was so damn exhausting, but still fun.

I've been on the phone talking to CPAs, Attorneys, Brokers, etc.

I also been talking to credit unions, IRS, SEC, FINRA, and so much more. I am done of talking on my phone.

Tomorrow proves to be a longer day. With some auditions, voice lessons, and a rehearsal for Ernani. Then I get to stay the night at my aunts house. I was going to stay by some of the BFAs house, but I didn't feel like it.

Next time. All of them are so open to me sleeping over...gotta love the love.

Things are looking up. Just taking the day by the horns and taking charge. This celibacy is doing good cause I have all this pent up energy and aggression that I can put into my businesses and goals.

Things are moving along.

The most upsetting thing that I found out today is that the IRS bill and the student loans. But no worries...I got 4 months until I am able to just pay off all my bills and debts and be totally debt free. 4 months and I will be financially free!!!

YES LAWD!!!!!

Another great part of today was getting 2 hours of free legal advice, when I was only suppose to get 20 mins. Also meeting another songwriter and we made magic happen. God just lead me.

J-Bo

P.S. I have been getting so many request via twitter, google+, youtube, and other social media I am part of that I had to turn off notifications. So now I don't know when someone adds or subscribes to me, but that is cool. I am tired of getting 150 e-mails and 120 are social media subscriptions.

P.P.S. This song just came to me and I need to let it out.

Random Spiritual Thoughts

Something that I have learned recently that I am still allowing to soak in.

There is a masculine side of love which is, "I love you." and there is a feminine side of love which is, "I am waiting for you."

We are in a world that has not valued both side...we are a people who have come to not wait and be present on God...just to love God.

I have also learned that there are 3 journeys of God: Journey from God, Journey to God, Journey in God.

The Journey from God is where we forget that we are in fact extensions of God. That we each of us are the divine which in Christian terms is the holy spirit within each one of us. It happens when we get caught up in the day to days of life. The Chinese call it getting caught up in the all that is nothing.

Journey to God is the spiritual journey outside and even inside of religion. It is a AHA moment...an awakening. A place where you no longer see things in a box, but you start to become aware and conscious of all and see that God is more than you ever thought.

The Journey in God is something that I cannot yet to write about it. I can suppose about it, but it is a higher level. There is a scripture that says "in God I move, and breathe, and have my being. I believe that is it...the oneness. The love becomes overflowing. A place where you walk without the ego, and you can stand in your truth and reality. Where you become the slave of the one, and servants of the many.

The "slaves" of God, and the servants of humanity. Whether you are a servant via music, lawyer, doctor, teacher, garbage man, whatever it is, you do it because you love God and he has called you to do it.

This goes beyond and is included in all religions...those that truly have a spiritual practice that is. I cannot really ever remember a day when I sat down and said that this is all there is to life, and that God is only going to be like this.

It always bothered me...I now know why. From a very young age I knew that God was outside of my understanding. That to put him in a box like everyone else did was not only wrong, but it limited me. My God is doing big things in the world.

With all the drama going on in the world with the killings and the shootings and the hate I know what God wants us to do. We have gotten too complacent. God wants the world to reach a new level of consciousness...a place of love, awareness, passion, and faith.

I know that the only way to fight this is to not be indifferent, but truly follow the laws and teachings of Jesus Christ and God.

I just heard something deep and profound. That religion tends not to be a spiritual walk or awakening...it is more of a social obligation. I can understand that...religious people tend to want people to walk, talk, breath, think, and be like them. Spirituality is God's call on your life and your own personal relationship that is different than anyone elses'.

Their must be a Crucifixion of the EGO!!!! I am working on that. That is what it means to say less of me God, and more of you.

Wheresover you turn is the face of God.

"Live like a feather on the breathe of God." ~ Unknown

Just a little of what has been on my heart and has come to me.

J-Bo

Just What I Needed

So the past 24 hours have been nothing but a blessing.

I wasn't going to go into the city and hang out with my friends. I was not in the mood, and wasn't looking forward to the drive there and back. I knew that I had to get the car back, b/c I took the e-z pass and I know my mom was going to need it.

Anyway my friends and I went out last night to dinner. We went to BBQs near Central Park on the West Side.

Lemme just say that we took over the place. We were the loudest group, most fun group, most eccentric. It was fun considering that I didn't drink at all. (Had to drive and I don't play no games)

So it was fun catching up on what was going on in people's lives and I was the center of attention cause the last time we were there I kinda showed my ass and was extra. Not really my fault.

Blame It On The GOOSE!!!!! LMAO!!!!

But one of my friends even had the courage to come out and ask me what my sexuality was and I told him. I said all anyone had to do was ask. I was bisexual and very proud. They love me regardless and it was so good getting it out.

Of course I have to assume that he told all of them...which is why I told him. He is good for that so it took the pressure off of me. :-)

Another highlight was when we started talking about going to church in the morning, and someone broke out with Jesus On The Mainline. We started singing and clapping and doing it perfect harmony.

It reminds me now of the time when Van, myself, and 3 other BFA members. We all sang Amazing Grace around the table and it was so fun and cool. We all, minus Van, started singing an old school song and in the end ended up in perfect harmony.

I know it was perfect cause Van lit up and was so happy he was bouncing off the walls. So we had his seal of approval. :-D

Then I drove them all to the next spot...a dance club. I was tempted to stay, but I knew I wanted to get on the road, and get this stuff back to my mom...ASAP. So I didn't stay too long with them and headed home.

I missed service cause I slept right through my alarm. But I that doesn't mean I wasn't getting fed spiritually. I got something that was right what I needed. God keeps showing me more, and pushing me further and faster.

I am on the ride of my life.

I want to leave you all with this quote cause it is so true.

"The privilege of a lifetime is to be who you are" 

~ Joseph Campbell

"We are not looking for the meaning of life, but the experience of being alive." 

~ Joseph Shore

"Follow your bliss. What makes you most happy and what puts you in service is where God is."

J-Bo

P.S. Now my friends believe that BFA is some sort of Gang...which I guess it is. The classically trained vocal students gang...that also sing other styles. I love my BFA family so much.

P.P.S. Also had a long conversation about Van with someone and had to defend him. Been awhile since that happened, but I don't have any malice towards him. He is only doing what he has been taught and conditioned to do. He is doing what he feels is right for him...can't blame him for that. I'm still on his side.

P.P.P.S. I forgot how magnetic that I can be. I mean I on purpose cause I didn't wanna go out anywhere after dinner. I wanted to go home, but when I walked into the restaurant and also dealing with my friends it was so different. I gotta explore this further.

P.P.P.P.S. Things are heating up...God is moving. 

Some Material I Am Learning...Doing Big Things!!!

J-Bo

P.S. Gotta get my technique back to where it was...gotta keep up with the lessons. I want my voice to stay awesome!!!! Also according to my teachers because I have a huge voice it is going to take more work to keep it in control and focused...the price for greatness.

P.P.S. Going for the Bass Role in Mozart's "La Clemenza di Tito"...the bass only has one aria, and I think you hardly see him. I think it would be a nice easy beginning role. I don't wanna do something where the Bass is the most prevalent right now...like the Ring Cycle...that will come later.

P.P.P.S Gotta get the music together for Verdi's "Ernani"...I'm joining the chorus late and I need a head start on practicing and catching up.

5 Steps to Dispel A Destructive Belief

I want to give you guys some help in getting rid of old beliefs that you may have from childhood that no longer serve you.

There are many of us who are walking around with conditioning that both serve and don't serve us. I have been dealing with a fair amount of men and women who are dealing with limiting beliefs that aren't serving them.

I could give examples but why. Also most of the people I help come from a very religious, abusive past. God is obviously telling me something.

Here it is. I'll go deeper into them at a later time. I gotta write these sales letters.

First: RECOGNIZE that it is a neural pattern that has nothing to do with the present moment. 

Second: understand that your brain boils down information into "sound bites" that over-generalizes and oversimplifies the topic or issue.
Third: Identify your deepest most treasured CORE VALUES and then see if they support your old beliefs.

Fourth: RELEASE your old belief by observing it without judgment. It's just a memory tied to old images, feelings, and thoughts.

Fifth: REFRAME it. Create a new belief based on your core value. Then RETRAIN your brain by repeating your core value and new belief like a mantra.

Do this for about 10 minutes a day, and in less than eight weeks, brain researchers Newberg and Waldman's brain scan studies show that your brain will actually change.

J-Bo

Weirdest Dream EVER!!!

I swear I don't know where this dream came from...I am not even sure what it means.

Bottom-line is that I was someone very successful and doing very very well for myself. I mean things were going great. I don't think I was married, but I was dating and having fun.

I had my times with all the most desirable men and women in the world. I mean I was on top of the game...I was looking for love, but haven't found it quite yet.

But somewhere in my dream Van showed up.

And he was acting like he normally does...that everything was always going to be fine. That it is just God's timing that we were waiting on. I never liked that he would say stuff like that...cause it kinda took it outta my control. Nothing is ever really in our control, but still...what can I say?

The point is that in the dream I was ready to yell at him, and kill him. I am not mad him, but I wanted to make him feel like crap. I wanted to make him understand that what he did was shitty, and kind of making him feel like he was a bad person, and he made a mistake.

What can I say?? It's stupid and petty, but I was going to do it.

I was ice cold and harsh and spitting venom.

But what happened next even I couldn't see happen.

He just ignored all of that, and walked right up to me, through my wall and I turned to walk away. He touched my back and his touch was like fire...like it lit me up. I felt something so powerful I cannot describe it.

The next thing I know is that he turns me around and kisses me.

I just wake up.

My back actually felt hot, and my lips were cool to the touch. It was so weird. Why did I have that dream with all the bad things going on in the world. With all the drama, and all the mess you would think that the world is going through my heart and thoughts would be to help those ppl.

But it was weird...it was obviously during a time when things were going very good for me. I don't know what I am talking about anymore. Never been very good at interpreting dreams.

I just know that with everything going we need more love, understanding, joy, and God. God I know my purpose is to show the world your grace and mercy. To help people not only develop a personal deep relationship with you, but to also help each person find the uniqueness in them. To help them develop themselves into all they can be...whatever that means to them.

With the dream and with all these things going on in the world I feel the need to call and see Van. To let him know how I feel. To be there for him. Now I am rambling...cause it doesn't matter how I see things or want.

He's probably seeing the things going on in the world, and believing it means staying more closely to his path and not changing and just keeping his head down and move forward. I do look forward to him being a doctor...just hearing the news. Even though he is more happier with public health...just being out there and doing something innovative.

I gotta stop talking about him now. :-)

I have to remember. To him I am the enemy...I am the bad guy. I am evil, and I am his ticket straight to hell. As long as I am viewed in that light there is nothing more than need be said. I keep him in my prayers and I am now part of the medical community and scientific community.

I have been really interested in advancing and broadening what we do. I mean we tend to be biased in the West...we think we have all the answers when we spend more and tend to fail more in these fields. Things have to change.

Anyway lemme go.

J-Bo

P.S. I know that we all dream every night and we remember few...why did I remember that one?

EXHAUSTED!!! :-)

So these past few days have been hell on my body. I gotta take better care of it...God's temple ain't no joke.

So musically things are going great...getting back to that great technique...headshots coming in, auditions lined up, and business is looking better than ever.

I know that the way to my future lies in me singing there...whether it is musical or not. I already know I got something big coming.

My next challenge is to raise these investment funds. Besides that I have been asked to do 3 albums. I don't know what the hell to do. I am asked to do a musical theatre album. They said that it will be songs covered by men...not sure how many are done by low voices that are current, but I already have Ol' Man River and there was a caribbean musical that I did in high school. Can't remember it, but I will find it.

Then I have an album of my own originals...meaning that I need to get into writing them. I only have 3 done that I really really like.

The last one that I need to do is an album of Arias and my recital music. I was asked to do them so I believe I am going to get my studio time for free...maybe gotta do some bartering.

On other news I have picked up many people who want me to help them learn how to sing and vocal coaching. :-D

There is one guy who I used to work with at my school when I did Work Study in the Athletics Department. He always gave me a gay vibe...I got him to sing for me today and he has a nice voice. He sings really nice...not all that full but he has the ability to grow a lot.

He is also West Indian (he's Haitian), and we get along really good. Not sure what his deal is, but he gives me the same gay vibe as Van did. Only difference is that I think his issue is the whole West Indian training part...but that is way easier than a religious one...though a friend called him a religious zealot.

I don't think that is a fair assessment.

So that is where I am for right now. Not that I am going to do anything with him. I still keep in my mind that everyone is infected until proven otherwise. Not everyone is like me...not everyone is going to be honest and gets tested and takes their health and sexual health in high regard...sad but true.

So since that is the norm I have to be exceptional.

Is it bad that I just want to sleep and wake up and have everything done for me already. But that is not the way life works.

Love my life...things are really getting to be bigger than me so I have to rely on God. This is so much more than me.

The one thing I am scared about is losing myself as things go on...I wanna obviously grow and change, but I know that power, prestige, and status does things to some people...I gotta lean on God even more.

More updates as time goes on.

Tomorrow is a day that I stay home and get things done that I don't have to leave for.

Time for bed...

J-Bo

Someone Stole From Me

So someone, somehow, someway stole my social security number and filled taxes in my name. Which makes no sense cause I don't have earned income for this tax period.

I am thinking of sicking my law firm on them and whoever did should spend the max time in jail. As a matter of fact that is what I am going to do...whether it is family or not...THEY HAVE TO PAY!!!!

On other news yesterday did turn out to be really fun. I taught a voice lesson, had a voice lesson, sat in a voice lesson, and sat in a rehearsal for one of the many recitals that I will be attending this year. So far the count is 4 before June.

I'm not complaining...I want to be there to show love and support and warmth.

On other news is that I got asked to join the chorus for Verdi's Ernani. It is for a small opera company, but they do usually promote in house so there is a chance for a lead role later on.

I am lining up auditions and competitions for the following week, and I still have to keep up with my other businesses. Just got a call this morning to get into the studio and lay some tracks down. I am looking forward to that, but it has to be right.

My first introduction has to be something that I am proud of.

I also got asked to write a song and do a track probably a duet with Lianne la Havas...I am excited about that. Not sure what will come of it, if anything will, but I am jumping on all opportunities.

I got so much work to do, but I am excited. I also am excited about the fact that I sing and people fall over. I mean I am getting so much attention for my voice...God is so good. But it is such a big powerful instrument, that it needs so much work.

After my lesson yesterday I learned that I need to keep working hard. My technique has been slacking and I don't want that to happen. So back to weekly lessons with my 2 main teachers!!!! :-)

I think I am still going to go away, but I am getting so much work done that it maybe for a few weeks instead of the whole summer. That is yet to be seen.

Also I spent time with some of my BFA family, and we ate outside, and just hung out like old times. The only ting missing was that I thought of all the times we did that with...but it was still a great time.

Things are going so good it is exciting and scary. I love it. Well I am here at school, and I think the best thing for me to do right now is get more work done, take a nap, teach this voice lesson, and then go home.

Order my steps Jesus!!!

J-Bo

P.S. So annoying when someone steals from you...but it is part of life. Considering all the craziness going on in the world, with all the hell going around I really shouldn't complain.

Business Valuations

I had a talk with some investors and they all turned me down.

WHY!?!?!?!?!?

In the end my pitch could've use more work, and my valuation was way off. I made the company too rich. I know better than that...I always get on other people for offering me something that is crazy like that.

I have to go back, and revamp and come back bigger and better for more.

It was scary and it is a learning experience. Never before have I had everyone turn me down and do it kind of coldly. I just have to brush it off, and keep it moving.

Gotta revamp. Also got auditions coming up...gotta get my voice lessons in.

So much to do...one day at a time Jesus.

Ttyl.

J-Bo

Why Does The Church Treat Gay People So Differently?

So I was up at 3am this morning talking via Skype and then oovoo. I was doing conference calls with some of the kids that I mentor. What motivates this post is that these kids are hurting, broken, and honestly one-sided.

The funny thing is that they are all church kids.

Not all of them are gay. Some are just really different...they don't fit the stereotypes that their parents and church would hold for them and are treated very unfairly.

I am focusing on the gay issue cause it seems when it comes to everything church folk are quick to attack gays. Not all of them of course. Just the ones who are religious and believe that if you don't do things that they feel is right than you are all the way wrong.

So honestly a big part of it is that the church has this principality that has been ingrained over the years. It is changing, and it is evident on the number of people leaving church in droves.

To the church being gay is the very worst thing you can do and be. The church is taught to be nonjudgmental, but we are the most judgemental, most critical, most hateful, and most condescending.

I am going to use Van as an example cause his words and story give me the most pause. How can you raise someone, love them, cherish them, pour into them, and pray for them...yet you find out they are gay and you turn them away. You cast them out. Now this has never happened...Van is so paranoid that his family would find out and do something that I believe that is also a part in our end.

I mean I was getting very close to his family and friends...not because I pushed to be, but because deep down he was letting me be. He was bringing me in cause of who I am to him.

I never worried about anything like that. Thank God for the family that I have...I have it easy. :-)

I mean there are so many people that have so much going against them who aren't even gay. There are people strung out on drugs, alcohol, and more. Why the church so quick to attack gay people?!?!? It's the mentality. The fruits that have been born of this backward teaching has produced nothing but negativity.

Also I got a phone call from some of my musician friends last week. They work with a lot of artist in the gospel and CCM industry. They have told me that 80% of the music that people love, worship and praise to come from gay writers, producers, and/or artist. So gay people have been part of God's work for years!!!!!

I know the names and the songs, but some people maybe vindictive and try to do them harm and cause a war. So I am not going to name any of them, but this is real people. My friends are on tour with these people...work with these people. WHY CAN'T PEOPLE SEE IT?!?!?!?!!?

Cause they don't want to. People like to live and put God into a box...so anything outside of that gets no attention and dismissed. Look up the reticular activating system (RAS) -- http://reticularactivatingsystem.org/. It will give you some more information and science behind what I am talking about.

Now some people cannot get past the scriptures, and they shouldn't. But we also have to acknowledge the bible, and where and what is going on. We are at a place now where we don't have all the answers and can go forward and find them. We don't have to accept someone elses' interpretation...we are all at the place where we can do our own thinking.

A good amount of people know that the KJV of the bible is actually a translation of a translation and was put together not for religious reasons, but for political ones. But yet people default to it, because it is comfortable and what they know.

No one will accept surgical, scientific, medical, academic, and more practices from those times because we learn, grow, and know better, but when it comes to the bible we have this innate fear that we cannot grow and learn. We have to accept whatever limits we place on ourselves.

My purpose in life is to get people to take off the limits and live as God has intended us to live...free.

Now some scriptures for you guys:

Leviticus 20:13 "If a man has sex with a man as he does with a woman, both of them have done something that is abhorrent. They must be put to death; they are responsible for their own deaths." Message Bible

This is one of the go to scriptures that people go to. Now this is why knowing shit and not having real knowledge and wisdom can do some real harm. But that is the abomination scripture.

Leviticus 20:10 "“If a man commits adultery with another man’s wife—the wife, say, of his neighbor—both the man and the woman, the adulterer and adulteress, must be put to death."

Leviticus 20:18 “If a man sleeps with a woman during her period and has sex with her, he has uncovered her ‘fountain’ and she has revealed her ‘fountain’—both of them must be cut off from their people.

There is so much more that I can include in not only that chapter, but other ones as well. The church will all gang up on LGBT and leave alone the others. Why?? Cause they don't have the right spirit. Now some will say that when Jesus came we were free from the old law, and Leviticus was book for the holy men of the time. It was for the "priest" of the day...not so much the lay person.

People will of course jump to Romans 1:18-32. Now if you really read the story and not just one or two lines you will see that these are men and women who knew God and turned away from him. That God turned them from their natural desires.

Someone like me who was born and have always been attracted to men and women feels nothing wrong. I have always been sexually drawn to both...more men than women. Van has always been attracted to men.

He has always said that if he can be who he is and have his family in his life than he is set...but he is one the few who ties his wagon on who God is to what his family say God is. Makes sense...our boxes and limitations get handed down to us from generation to generation.

At least his brother and sister are more spiritually aware...they don't seem as religious and dogmatic. They seem more in tune and willing to flow...of course for them it is easy being straight. they don't have the same stigma and psychological stuff going on.

Well this post turned out longer than I wanted. I just wanted to air out some stuff and Van came into it. I do miss him, but it is just me. I never thought I'd be in this position. Missing someone who doesn't thing twice about me...God work it out!!!

J-Bo