96 Years Old Today

So my grandmother has reached the ripe young age of 96 years. She said she is feeling strong and will be around to 104. I believe her...her spirit is both strong and gentle. That is the woman who taught me the difference between being religious and being spiritual and developing my own relationship with God.

I just want her to see me on the opera stage and the Grammies!!!! That is all I want...and to hear my first album in the popular and classical world. I of course have to do an album of hymns and spirituals for her...she loves them songs.

So I am still here in the city getting ready to leave. I gotta come back tomorrow and tutor some kid around Columbus Circle and then I am free till God knows what time.

Is it weird that sometimes I still kinda look for him around certain corners...I still think to listen and look for him in the practice rooms??

I will be there from 7am to 12pm. and then back again at 5. Got a lot to do. Then I am back at it again on Monday. Things are looking up...I just have to rise to the occasion. Meet God where he is waiting for me.

I wonder if he is dating someone already and they are engaged and ready to be wed off. I keep getting the feeling that...I need to stop. I know what is going on.

You get what you focus on. What you focus on becomes real even if it in fact has no basis in reality. Our beliefs affect our focus to the millionth degree. So I need to stop focusing on the fact that he hates me and sees me as the enemy. I need to focus on the fact that he is happy and his family is happy with him.

I know that as long as he has their approval and as long as he is living up to what he was raised to believe was right he will love it...he will be happy.

I just hate being thrown away like I am garbage.

That is all I want for him...and for me. Actually I want more than to be happy...I want joy, ecstatic pleasure, fulfillment, and overabundance. I don't want to settle for whatever comes my way...just barely making it.

NOT FOR ME!!!!

There are men, women, and children waiting on me to do something and get to where I need to be for the next level.

LET'S GO!!!!

J-Bo