Response and Thoughts to Last Post

I am going to make this short and sweet.

My bed is calling me and I need to get up early in the morning...that and I smell kinda ripe. :-)

But the bottom line is that I know you are who are. God does not make mistakes and that includes sexual orientations and desires.

Now with that being said there are gay men and women who are married to the opposite sex...in essence going against their God given natures but that is their call...

My friend the Pastor is married to a woman and has children, but he knows he is gay and with the man of his dreams who is supporting him in his dreams and desires. Their relationship is a little messy and complicated for me, but that is not for me to understand.

When I think of this it makes me think of the many church children who are gay who are getting married and into relationships that they feel is "right." That is their call.

I do support conversion therapy cause it doesn't work, and in fact is totally destructive and against all that is natural.

Praying the gay away doesn't work cause well...there is no such thing as praying away that which is perfect within you. God is perfect in his decisions and designs...it is only us that seem to be confused.

But the one thing that I will respect is how people want to live their lives. Since I've left Van I've seen more people that are conflicted in the church and they are willing to do what Van is willing to do. Either spend the rest of their life alone as to play it safe. Better to do nothing and stay safe than make a move and be wrong.

Or they will just get hooked up and married to those who they are linked to...either through family, friends, or church members.

That is their choice...

I don't think God would want us to live our life doing things to make people happy at the risk of losing a piece of who we are.

I thank God for sending me Van. Through him I felt and experienced true love, commitment, joy, and happiness.

Van has said on many occasions if he didn't believe it wrong he'd marry me on the spot. I know he was truly happy with me. He was truly in heaven with me...if even for a short while. I don't ask for anything more cause I got more than I deserved. God truly does bless abundantly.

I still have feelings of being with a woman not because I am more attracted to them then men, but because it would be easier to fit in and just fall in line with what I was originally raised to believe is right.

I don't want that...I want to be true to myself. Yes I love women, but I will marry and spend my life with a man that God has ordained just for me. It is what it is, and the sooner I get over making others happy and comfortable and start living for me and God the better and more fulfilling my life will be.

He heals me.

So I believe people should be and embrace who they are. Stand in their truth. Call a thing a thing.

But I also believe that people will be who they are. So if you want to be free and just be who you are than you can. You can find people who will love you, adore you, and support you.

Or you can go the other way which is fine as well. You can do what you feel you must to keep the picture and vision alive of what has been handed down to you. It is what it is...I will love and support the people.

J-Bo

P.S. Things are looking way up. Business is BOOMING!!! Can't wait to be debt free, rich, and then the next step. God is working.

P.P.S. I got songs to work on...and I have to record everything. Doing an album isn't easy...especially when doing 100 other things.

P.P.P.S. I cannot be mad at Van. He did tell me that he felt I was on another level from him and he wasn't in the place to give me what I needed. I shoulda believed him and trusted him...maybe in the future we can meet as friends and go from there. He did warn me...he did tell me that I am on a whole other level...and one of my mentors did say I am 27 with the wisdom of someone 4x my age, and Van on the other hand is young and sheltered. He has lived his life only seeing one thing and being told what and how to think. I do miss him, he gave wise counsel. Only God knows...I wish him well being a doctor. That will make him proud...he said he wanted to at least try for it and then go on doing what he wants to do...he said if he didn't he'd feel cheated and like he was missing out. Don't want that to happen.