No, no, no, no, maybe

So I have been getting a few responses to the proposals. A few have said no, but I got two to say maybe.

They want to work out the details, and get everything really really good.

So things are going well. I still have far to go, but I now think that it is all relative. I mean things can turn around so fast that I won't know what is going on. No time to waste...back to work.

Before I forget I was in school today in the practice rooms going over some music. There was a guy I never seen before and we started talking about music, life, and God.

Really nice conversation, and he looked like Bobby Blake.

The conversation went sexual really fast, and before I knew it we were face to face with each other. I was so ready or at least I thought I was.

Again he tried to kiss me and all I could think about is oral herpes. So I let him suck my neck. It felt good, but of course it felt wrong too. WTF is going on?!?!?!!

Then he pulled out my dick and started to jerk on it...I felt ok with that...kinda.

Then he pulled out his, and I swear I was so confused. I mean he had a beautiful dick, but I really felt scared and sick with the thought of putting it in my mouth.

Then he said he wanted to fuck me, and I got really sick and had to get out of there. Before I left he stopped me and asked me what was wrong. I could tell he is not used to getting rejected...I mean the man is gorgeous and would be a nice distraction from Van.

But I couldn't do it. I talked to him, and he is in a similar boat like me. So we talked and laughed and sang and I played. He is a really cool guy. He did say that he didn't want to do anything either, but felt he had to fuck his ex out of his system.

I agree...

I mean I can look and fantasize about other men. I mean Race Cooper is at the top of my list, but I am so confused as to why God is doing this to me. I mean DAMN!!!!!

He was so pretty, but I swear everyone is walking around with every disease in the book. Van was a rare find...crazy and slow, but a rare find.

The kids and pastor, and tony found out what happened through reading my blog. They are not happy about it. But I told them to say nothing about it. Even Van knows he was wrong to even suggest to tell me who I can and cannot hang out with.

In any case vacation time is looking like it is going to happen. I cannot wait. ISLANDS HERE I COME!!!!

J-Bo