Just one of those days..

Well what can I say...today was one unproductive day.

First it started off with me not sleeping so I was up for like 36 hours. Not sure why...I tried everything, but couldn't fall asleep. So I ended up doing some work, and tried to watch animal planet to hep me drift off.

Bad idea.

I love animal planet...I ended up all night watching all the shows and being fascinated and learning. What you have to understand is that when I was younger I wanted to be a vet or a zoologist, so animal stuff always works on me.

I found a different way to help, by helping charities and foundations that help the animals, and help join a cause already in effect.

Anyway so I am up, and I wanted my mom to give me a drop off to school. I had rehearsal. She wakes up and complains about something. So I knew a ride was outta the question.

I didn't want to be in the car with her if she was going to be bitching...not looking forward to an uncomfortable ride. And I heard her mumble that she was not going to give me a ride...real nice. :-(

So I get to school and pass out in the library, but only for like 30 mins, because I have rehearsal.

Which was so unproductive. I am going to have a real talk with the director, and let him tell me what is going on?? I don't feel like wasting my time especially nowadays...got money to make.

Also I couldn't play right after awhile. I couldn't sing, and I was playing off b/c I couldn't focus on where and what I was doing. Not ideal, but shit happens, so I called an early rehearsal and went home to sleep.

So now I am awake, and still feeling drained. So I tink me not going to talk to nobody, and me going back to sleep.

I wanted to work on these packages, and also on sending out some more proposals, but I can't do it. I am in need of sleep.

I came home around 4ish and just got up like 15 mins ago...that is how tired I was and still am. Smh

Before I go, I want to say that it is getting easier not having Van around...I will always love him, and I know what is going on. He is good at burrying and ingnoring his feelings...it has been a good relfex for him...not really healthy, but tell him that. :-)

I do miss him and I look forward to the day when we can meet again...as bigger better men than where we left off.

It would be nice...

I am reading stories of people breaking up and getting divorced over simple stuff. The funny thing is that I had a relationship that when I tell people about they are astonished, and they are jealous.

Lord Jesus you have to fix it...I leave it your hands God. You are working behind the scenes, but please work faster. Also bless me pockets...I want to give to a few charities, and I really want to bless my church.

My pastor is really someone who teaches and imparts wisdom...not letting us settle just to hear, but to really study and seek you Jesus.

Anyway I am off to bed...gotta get ready for tomorrow and to get these headlines and leads polished and ready to go.

J-Bo