So this may not come as a surprise, but I just got another scary story about someone out there and who puts themselves at risk for contracting a serious STI. Here's the story...
One of my friends went out last night chilling with this gay guy. They met through a mutual person and my friend is just looking for cool people to hang with. He has a man and is not looking for someone else.
That and he is now working design for Columbia Presbyterian Hospital and works in the clinic sometime and the people and stuff he sees scares him so much that he now realizes my stories and advice are not far-fetched, but battle learned lessons.
So he is at this guys house which I told him to watch his back at. I said you have to be careful cause it is hard for the majority of gay people to just be friends. You think that someone just wants to hang and chill, but they are actually working on getting inside of your pants. It never fails...NEVER!!!
I guess that is why I have so few gay friends cause they all wanted to fuck at a time when I was with Van and also I wasn't down for the cause. I just wanted good solid friends...not likely. :-(
A lesson I tried to teach Van and others, but most learn the hard way when they have to fend off serious advances and most fall into having sex and most of it is unprotected. Sad but true.
So he is at this guys house and he starts showing him pics of all the men he's slept with, and who are trying to sleep with him. Then he undresses infront of him. Then they end up watching Titanic together and have a good time with that.
He calls me when it is done to tell me that dude has a 149 IQ level, goes to NYU, and makes serious paper. None of that means anything to me if the guy doesn't have a good heart and is a servant. Apparently he is.
But here is the kicker. Homeboy told me friend about this guy he slept with who when he went to the bathroom he saw medicine for HIV/AIDS. The guy was upset cause the guy said he was negative and was clean...then when confronted said he did have HIV/AIDS. O_o
I woulda flipped the fuck out. He said he got checked and he is in fact negative, but that did it for my friend. He wasn't looking to do anything, but this made him appreciate his man even more cause shit is real out there.
I was shocked, but then again I wasn't.
It was a sad, sad situation.
So my rule still stands.
Everyone is guilty until proven innocent and even then WEAR PROTECTION!!!!!!!!
So that is my rant and lesson for the day...I think.
I know we all get caught up in the moment, but that really isn't an excuse anymore. Use protection, ask someone about their status, and please remember people will lie to you...even those you trust.
It will probably be a long time, before I fall back into a relationship with someone for two reasons. I don't trust no man or woman with my life, and when I am in a relationship I have to be in love with you. i have to want to be with you, and you me. It becomes to the point where we go from being a you and me to being a we.
That takes time.
Yessir.
My last relationship was like that, but we got deep into it faster than I thought we would. We just bonded and clicked real fast.
Maybe it will happen like that again and maybe it won't.
It at least thought me some very valuable lessons that I needed to learn about myself and others. One of them is again: "When people show you who they are, especially when they tell you, BELIEVE THEM. They knew them better than you do."
So now I need to get these songs off to the producer...I keep sitting on my hands with these.
I realize what my problem is. I am so damn scared of being successful. It's not that I think I won't make it...I know I will. I mean I really do know that I will be the top of the top, and that scares me.
I know the greatness that comes with that, but I am so scared of the responsibility, scrutiny, and the fact that people do everything to find something wrong or bad to exploit and attack. I just don't want to be alone, I don't want all the stigma and baggage that comes along with being successful.
But there is a price to be paid for everything. I just have to pay it. I have to be willing to let my light truly shine...no matter what.
Daily walk...daily bread...daily renewals.
J-Bo
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