Am I trifling???

So I got a phone call from my mother telling me to bring her a banana and yogurt when I go get my father...

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You guys don't know me, but I hate when people do that to me...don't make plans for me. My father is a grown ass man who can take the train home. And he can walk to the store an get you a banana and yogurt.

Don't assume I have nothing to do, and will be home waiting for you to call me. I was 2 seconds from saying I am busy, and I am not going to be able to make it.

They lucky I wasn't in bed knocked out. Smh...Van said that I am trifling, and if my last comment means I am trifling then I am trifling. They just make me so aggravated...don't have me just around like you control my time...I don't work for you!!!!!!!

All I ask is that you respect my time.

So now I want to go back to Van...he really came and gave me what I needed. I mean I needed and wanted more, but it was good what I got.

I mean I SO WANTED TO FUCK HIM TILL HE SCREAMED MY NAME!!!! :-D

Also to be honest even though I claim to be more a top-vers, but with him for some reason I claim to be more a vers...I WANTED HIM TO FUCK THE SHIT OUTTA ME!!!!!! ;-)

Lord I need help...I am such a hot ass mess.

I know he is probably home now having a woe is me moment...I wanted to worry about it, and try to help him, but Jesus is working on it. He can be free and open now if he wanted, but he keeps seeing that he has to fight.

I understand though...I was the same way until I changed my P.O.V. and started asking better questions.

Look at this website for some nice examples of loving relationships. Thank God for being in love!!!! https://www.facebook.com/HeMeetsHim

Back to Van...not b/c I care about him, but b/c he makes me so DAMN MAD!!!!!!

He believes that being gay is wrong...or acting on your "gayness" if that makes sense. I cannot even tell you all the things that the bible talks about being against from the Old Testament to the New Testament that him and his family don't agree with and thus don't follow.

When you ask him why he has no answer. It is just something he was raised in, and he just goes with it. Too bad his family is prejudicial against gays otherwise he wouldn't have all this back and forth.

I want to be mad at him, but I know what he is going through, and I just feel it. If you guys could just have been here seeing what I've seen and feel what I feel. I mean he is so in love with me, and he so wants to be with me...

He needs a strong man in his life, and he needs a strong love in his life. I know he has both of these with Jesus, and I am so blessed that I can be that physical manifestation of that...to God be the Glory!!!

So I am going to trust God, cause in the end he wins. The only problem with being gay with everything we know now concerning the biblical scripture historians and professionals; the medical, scientific, and psychological experts in the world see gay as being natural and nothing wrong.

To be honest Van has enough to stand on...it is out there. The truth of the matter is that he wants to believe it is wrong...and that is his call. I don't want to stand in his way, and I am not...he wants me.

He told me that other men and pics, and basically everything else like that do nothing for him. That it is just the sound of my voice...I mean he is so stupid. What does he think all this means.

But I am not worried...

Jesus is good, and I know he is working.

So now I have to leave and get my father from the hospital, and if my mother is not coming home, I am not leaving...not a chance in hell. My father will take public transportation!!!

If that makes me trifling then so be it...

J-Bo

P.S. I just want it to be known that feelings aside I thank Van for all he has done and continues to do. I mean everything with my mom and just stuff. He has really been there...especially to answer my medical questions. I was going to stop, but I know he likes to help me...and laugh at me for that matter. I also tink it is good for him to do this...since he will be a practicing doctor in about a decade or so no sense he cannot get started now. :-)

P.P.S. I really want to fuck him...I really want him to fuck me. I need to go do something and keep busy. It is so funny cause he got me so hot I started to sweat...it was automatic. Not COOL!!!!!!!