So these past 48 hours have been a trip. Minus my mother being in serious pain and all things have been pretty good. I have to head over to her soon to make sure that everything is okay, and my father isn't driving her bat shit crazy. :-)
But first it starts on Thursday when I had a great time with some friends, and we just sang songs. We sang love songs, jazz, gospel, and more. I was able to get out so much drama and so much pain that was in me.
Then on Friday I went to church and heard a great message. Can't remember what it was about...I have really bad short term memory. Blessing and a curse.
Then I went out to a nice lounge type place with Aaron, Steve, and even Dishone. It was a gay spot, and what I am so happy about is that Dishone actually had fun. He was dancing with his man, and the rest of us. He was like prime meat in that place so he didn't stray to far with fears of being molested. :-D
I was the only one not really dancing b/c the spot we went to played mostly rap/hip-hop and spanish music. Now I can get down, but I wanted to hear some reggae, dancehall, and soca. Music of my land, but it was w/e.
Before we got there Dishone was like I am only going to make Aaron happy and b/c he promised. He was of course getting all bad and anxious about it...he even brought up how he felt convicted about being with Aaron earlier on, and being convicted is a sign of God in your life.
I don't believe that totally. I mean for Dishone going out and dancing was always seen as a bad thing, but for me it literally isn't anything to even talk about the next day. I told him that your convictions are your convictions, and mine are mine. That as we grow and change they also change.
He had convictions about his sexuality, but as he grew as a man and Christian those feelings have changed. I also had to tell D that he cannot put his rules onto Aaron. I mean Aaron likes to go out every once and a while, and what is not Aaron's conviction isn't his conviction and vice versa.
The one thing I did with Van was to never put my rules on him, and I had to force him to do the same...not an easy thing to do btw. We always feel what we know and what we experience is best...at least the neurotics do.
Now today I went and met up with 5 real estate investors, and we are all talking game plans and strategies. Things are looking up.
To top it all off Van is talking to me now. Nothing serious...just about family stuff, and church stuff. I can almost here his voice, and see his eyes roll, and see him shake his head. LOL...
I do miss him, but this is his doing, and he can change and fix it when he wants. I just really miss the punches and kicks, and him being there. Oh well...time to get out of here soon and do more work.
Ttyl.
J-Bo
P.S. I cannot wait to see how far I go before the year is over, and I am tired of waiting for the church to open up membership. I wanna be a member already. Not sure why... :-P
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