Damn love songs. :-)

So I was driving from seeing my mother in the hospital and she is doing ok. She should be out soon God willing...we will have to wait and see.

So I was driving and listening to all these love songs...cause that is what is on the radio. Also in the hospital I saw this gay couple that reminds me of Van and I. This guy was going to visit his boyfriend during his shift before he went home.

They met with a kiss, and we spoke for awhile. It was nice...makes me feel hopeful and sad at the same time.

One of my cousins wanted to see what Van looked like so I showed her his fb page. She was not impressed and was like he doesn't look like anyone would deal with him after the first headache.

I laughed at her...she can be hard, but she is known for giving the facts as they are seen, and being hard and upfront about it. It is not a game with her...she is one of those honest to a fault ppl.

But here is the thing yes Van had some issues. He wasn't all that cute, he wasn't perfect, he had some stuff going on that a lot of ppl would look and turn away from, but there is something about that man. There really is.

I cannot explain what it is...yes a lot of ppl would not want him, but he is so special and so valuable. It is something that you understand when you are in it.

I know I am not the most good looking and I have my issues. Funny cause I look at my faults in a real way, but I get a lot of play from men and women and I cannot understand. My father said there is something about me that draws people to me, and rallys them.

He is always talking like I am going to be some major force. Gotta love him, but I don't see it. Even Van and Dishone called me a preacher...don't see that one for shit. :-D

He fb messaged me today to tell me that he was praying for my mother and me, because she was going into surgery. I wanted to ask him lunch today to see him, and just laugh with him...but he is still pulling away from me.

Shame when someone who calls you their best friend, lover, and husband pulls away. What is also funny is that today in the hospital some girl tried to talk to me, and w/o thinking I said I am in a committed happy relationship and walked off...

Of course that happened after I saw the happy couple that reminded me of Van and I. God work it out...in the meantime I have things to do.

Time to watch some tv, probably make some phone calls and then hit the bed. I am watching the DNC again, but this one features Bill Clinton.

I swear I am going to make this world a better place for the outcast...

J-Bo