Great WEDDING!!

So the wedding was awesome. The bride cried, the groom cried, people cried, and it was beautiful.

I really had an awesome time and we are already planning the next wedding for next year to be a destination wedding.

I am having so much fun right now. This the first time in a long time that all of us the big 3 and me were all together. The four of us had a great time. It was such an awesome family affair.

My mom and dad were there and they love and support Lou so much...like that man is blood.

So the wedding also had another great surprise.

Dishone sang and he was off the chain. I mean he had my mom and Nora crying and other people in the audience. People went to go speak to him afterward and it was awesome.

I am so proud of him...he has come so far. He said he never wants to go back to the old him. He has such a talent...

His voice is something else...

That was all...nothing else to report. I had fun, they go on their honeymoon, and I can sleep now. I told them that they won't be bothered by me for a whole month, so towards the end of July we will be seeing them again.

J-Bo

Cannot get over it...

So I wake up to this gorgeous view and it just brings such peace to my soul.

I feel so nice and calm. I really want to be the next one who gets their own place.

Then this man comes in my head.

I get so damn mad and hurt. I love that man with everything and he talks to me like I am a kid. I just feel like I can knock his ass out for what he said to me.

I don't care about him being scared...he can be powerful and sure right now and be a forced to be reckoned with.

It is so weird seeing the dynamic of his cousins and siblings versus the old people. He is stuck and torn in between...

I am going to stop justifying this man. He is an adult, and he needs to stand up strong and go for greatness or do what he is doing now and get by and survive.

He sees how his aunts and uncles are and parents and that is the level he wants to attain then good for him...

I cannot believe he thinks he can tell people who they can and cannot hang with. I mean everyone in his little circle is about doing what they want and being their own persons. From his siblings (especially his brother) to his friends and cousins especially his friends we all hung out with that day.

I cannot believe that he thinks that his message was ok...that he feels justified.

He talks about the will of God and being Christ like when he is the first person to admit that he is not very Christ like. And he is the first one to say that his family doesn't show a great image of Christianity.

He is dark, moody, meloncholy, scared, fearful, hesitant, and all around a huge pessimist. I see something different, cause when he is around me he is showing something different. He is so free and everyone says it, but he is the only one that doesn't see it.

The funny and sad thing is that he said he doesn't show the character of Christ, but he feels he is getting into heaven by being the way that he is.

His star burns like a dying flame, compared to his "friends" and fam that are his age that are burning so bright and so fierce. They know who they are and what they are and what they want.

He is the one person that goes from being free and enjoying himself to being the person that they all call a kill joy and no fun.

I know talking to those closest to his age that they are happy and doing them. That they will not be held back by dogma and principalities.

I have to get ready for this wedding and have a great time. My best friend is the first of us to get married. Who will be next?? :-)

J-Bo

Disrespectful, arrogant, and selfish

First off lemme say that today was a nice day. I met up with some friends and we had a great time. It wasn't until I checked my facebook app that I saw Van had left me a message.

Here it is:

I am only going to say this once and that's it. Do not hang out with any members of my family. I am glad I read your blog or else I would be clueless as to what is going through that head of yours. You were only meant to meet them...that's it. You went out with us once....that's it. You don't make up events to try and invite them too. I don't want you around them. End of story. Stay away from them and for added protection from me. Don't ask no questions....just know that this is for the best....

Can you believe that he said that to me?!?!?!?!

TO ME?!?!?!?!?!?!!??!

So I left him a real serious message back. He got some nerve thinking he can tell me what I can and cannot do. And he has bigger nerve thinking he can tell his family what they can and cannot do.

He lost his fucking mind, and he can stay lost.

He need to grow some balls and bring some of that to his family when they step out of line. Then maybe I can see his ass being more than an errand boy and toy.

He really hurt me with that last one and I will not soon forget it.

He is such a scared little shit only moving when told to...he need to watch who he talking to. My mother and father don't talk to me like that...I am not the one.

He so mad that people actually like me...guess what nigga I'M FUCKING LIKABLE!!! I treat people with the same respect, love, courtesy, and honor that I want shown to me, and they give it. I always give to people what I want to receive.

Obviously people see it and respond well to it.

How dare he think he can tell me who I can and cannot talk to, and then to go ahead and throw me out of his life. I told him to consider me dead and gone, and never worry about my ass again.

I hope he never hears my name ever again, because obviously I mean less than shit to him...I can respect that. 

I am not even going to say what it is that I did for him...it isn't important. What is important is that obviously I thought I was someone of standing and meaning in his life.

I am done even talking about him...I got things to go ahead and do. I got to get ready for my best friend getting married and I am apart of that. I just have to remember that I have more than I should, and I am blessed and leave all the bitterness behind.

I wish you guys could see my face. From now on I only want strong men and women talking to me...if you weak and always wondering what mommy and daddy are going to think about you and do to you then you need to move the fuck on.

Sad thing is that his father is...it doesn't matter what his father wants for him.

God helps those who help themselves...I am done...God move in.

Goodnight...my friends are calling me on skype and I haven't heard their Italian accents in a long time. They keep telling me to come and that is what I plan on doing. I got support and unconditional love no matter what...I am going to apologize for it.

J-Bo

P.S. Just got a text...that cathedral job might be coming in, and that means...PERFORMANCES AND HOOK UPS!!!!!!!!!!

P.P.S. I am not changing my nature for him. I will always be there for people if they need me, but I am done helping the helpless. If he needs help or wants to talk he can get in contact with me. I will always be that guy, because it is the right thing to do...I had good examples in that with my parents. Thank God I didn't grow up to use religion to attack and condemn people especially my own family. Maybe if I did then I would be a real Christian and a real example to follow.

P.P.P.S. Just needed to vent. I don't hate him. I pity him. No emotional stability and a wreck all around. I will always be there, but I am done pushing forward. I am here if sought, but that is it...until then let him consider me dead...or better yet I never existed.

Columbia Dorms DUPLEX!!!!

So I am here at Columbia dorms in a duplex waiting for tomorrow fro my friend's wedding. I was going to be over the moon excited if we could be here a whole week like my friend wanted, but even one night is awesome.

So I go to meet up with Van for some lunch, and everything goes well. I start to poke at him a little, and then the atmosphere changed.

I mean he acted like he was pissed off with me, and did not want to be in my presence.

He even told me that he would not be able to hang out for a couple of weeks, because he is falling behind in his studying for his test. I heard that and was like ok no problem immediately. This test is very important.

It is a stepping stone for him.

Anyway so I tell him about the dorm and tell him he has to see it. I mean I love it, and I want my own place just like it...5 bedrooms of course, but still. Even if I don't get a duplex the fact is that I want a lot of room and then I can figure out what to do with it later. :-)

I guess my mom and Van are right...maybe I am a little excessive. I am looking for duplexes right now. :-)

So Van was acting kinda like a major dick today. He is was acting like he was annoyed and didn't want to be bothered. A friend said he had some words with him that maybe the reason, and when I asked him he said no.

I know Van and when he is with me he goes through a lot of emotions, but he is engaged with me. Today he wasn't...something was going on, and I hope his dumb ass realizes that according to him we won't be seeing much of each other for a while, and that maybe we should make today mean something special.

I know he really became a dick when he found his grandmother was coming home early, but I am going to leave that right there. It is starting to make some sense now, and it is funny how just the thought and mention can do what it did.

So if he doesn't want to come then there will be one less person coming to Atlantic City...he will be missed, but fun will be had.

So I am getting these proposals done and hopefully today they will be finished. I want to get them reviewed as soon as possible and start making money now!!!!

That is all for now...nothing really special happened today.

I know that his cousins are back in Nebraska and his brother is in Vietnam...funny thing is that I have standing invitations from all of them to visit and have a good time. Awesome I know. Van would die...but me and his brother going to chill...I got plans to surprise Van with a trip to Vermont and while he is sleeping or doing whatever I will visit his brother and party. :-)

There are a few church events that are suppose to be starting soon that may be something like friends and family...not sure though. I will be inviting all of them to come down, and I am sure they will be looking forward to getting away from their surroundings and having some fun.

Just gotta double check and make sure and send them all a text and see who is free.

Now back to work...well first a movie and then to work. :-)

J-Bo

Early end to a great day...

First off this heat is sucking the life out of me, and Van sucked the HELL OUTTA MY DICK!!!!! :-)

So he did come, and it was nice. We always have a good time together. Of course we piss each other off at time, but we had a great time.

I have decided I only want to cum by him sucking my dick and me fucking the shit out of him. That means we are going to have to turn up the raunchiness.

Can I just say I have the sexiest mother fucker in the LAND!!!! :-)

Now I am off to sleep and get ready for the wedding Saturday and a busy day tomorrow. Van gets paid tomorrow, and he is going for drinks without me. I want him to come uptown and meet at the place where the wedding is going to be so we can get a few drinks before his rehearsal.


I don't even think he notices, but he referred to me as his husband on a few occasions, and when he said he wanted to protect me from his family and being attacked he said he is trying to protect his husband from that.

Then he mentioned he would love to knock me on the floor which made me laugh.

Now I need a nap...this heat is winning. For all of you in NYC and areas facing extreme heat please stay hydrated.

J-Bo

Rolling with the punches

So I got my tux and I look really good in it. It is a little big, which makes me think I have lost weight, so I am happy for that, but I like my suits to fit me better. But still it is hard to look bad in a tux.

Van was suppose to come over so we could "work," but he canceled on me. I told him that I don't need sex from him, that all I want is some quality time. I didn't push him, but he knew what I wanted. I let him decide hoping he would choose me.

When he didn't I was pissed off, but I said fuck it and moved on.

He then sends me a text saying that he is getting minor surgery on his toe. It had to happen to both my brothers so it was nothing new for me.

He said he didn't need me there, but he should've known that I wanted to be there for him.

So you guys already know I am going to spite him and not tell him anything that is going on with me. I know it isn't right and in fact it is childish but I don't care. I guess I can also give him points for telling me, but I want to be mad.

He then said he was going to come and see me...I am not going to lie. That makes me very happy.

Sometimes I feel like he is going around thinking that because I want it, and it is coming from me it is less important. I mean I wonder if I started to act like what he wants means nothing, and that he knows nothing...basically treat him like his family does treat him like my personal assistant and a child maybe he would appreciate me more.

He said he is on his way...he wants me to doctor on him and just be there...that I can do. That I want to do.

J-Bo

CHURCH INVITE!!!

The reason this gets a post is that one of Van's female friend's just asked me to his church for family and friends day. I know that I can get a few people to come along and have a good time, but I am sure Van will have a problem.

I hope not. I will bring it up to him when we speak next, and he can tell me how he feels about it.

I would really love the chance to go. I am looking forward to a change to my Sunday routine.

J-Bo