500 Business E-Mails

So I just got done answering 500 business e-mails that were sent within the last 2-1/2 months.

DAMN!!! :-/

It was so damn exhausting, but I got it down and I know look and 40 of them have responded and I have to responded to those e-mails now too.

I always wonder how people can have 5+ deals going at the same time and not feel overwhelmed. I gotta find out how to master that one real fast.

I have also learned 3 questions according to one of my mentors that he asked himself when he was in a fatal car crash. He almost lost his life and when he was on the crossroads he thought of 3 questions.

The 3 questions that he asked himself are:

1. Did I love?
2. Did I live?
3. Did I even matter?

I asked myself those questions recently and I am going to share those answers with all of you now.

• Did I love

I like to think that I did. Of course I have had many partners and lovers over the years. I have also had 4 relationships that I was totally committed to, the one that stands out the most is the one with Van. That is not only the last one I've been in, but the one where I've given all.

It was the most transformational for me. I still love him and I respect and honor him for the role he played in my life, but I do that while moving forward and moving on. If our paths cross than we shall see who we are when that happens, but if not than that is ok too.

I look forward to loving again that strongly cause I never felt so good and vulnerable in my life. I CANNOT WAIT!!!! :-D

Sidenote: A friend of mine who works at Old Navy is now engaged to a very famous musician. The man she is marrying is very well known and he doesn't care that she isn't like other women in his life. She is on a different level, but they work. They compliment each other.

Back to my points.

• Did I live?

I think that I've had many interesting things happen in my life. But I haven't lived the life I've wanted to.

This is one area that scares me, because I am not scared of dying...just of leaving too soon.

• Did I even matter?

This is one that I am a little confused. Do I matter? I know I will be missed, but did I leave something behind that will long out live my life.

God help me with this one.

So this is where I am right now. This is where I am currently, but I am always evolving and growing and changing.

Now back to growing multiple businesses at once. What the hell is wrong with me?!?!??! But I wouldn't be me if I wasn't doing many things at once. I need that to help keep me interested.

J-Bo

P.S. Talked to my boys in San Fran and they are doing great. Things are happening. Still some issues, but that is true of any relationship and I've thought them the tools they can use to get better and do more.

P.P.S. Pastor and Tony are doing awesome. Just spoke to Tony. I think Pastor is at AIM Convention. Don't ask. But Pastor is making babies like crazy trying to continue his legacy, and they both are looking into Tony having some kids. I should say more kids, cause I didn't realize he has 3 kids with another woman. O_o Don't even ask cause I don't know. In any case they are still hiding their relationship of course and Pastor is getting good at hiding it. I just wish them the best cause I could not be about that life...I am not a liar and I am not ashamed. I've come too far!!!