So Many People!!

So I have set up 6 dates for the rest of the week. The guy I met on Sunday is cool and all and I will meet him again sometime during the week, but I just don't wanna become attached to anyone. I know that sounds weird, but when I meet someone that I am attracted to for more than just fun and looks then I will think about settling down.

Something weird also happened. Someone asked me about Van. They asked me if I knew how he was doing. I said no of course...I don't. I do know that he is talking to some guy though and they are getting close and personal.

If I had my best guess they will have sex within the next few months. I was agreed with. They asked me how I felt...I said it was cool. I mean I knew that it was going to happen. He's a gay man doing what comes naturally.

I wouldn't feel mad at him if it was the other way around and it was a straight man with a woman. It is what it is. All the promises and words that he shared with me are null and void. I know he said I will be the last man he sleeps with, but I have to be honest. God made him who he is and to believe that he would be with no one else is a lie.

I mean I am dating. :-)

I do need some sex though...that is the only thing. Consistent fuck buddies cause I ain't down with the illnesses.

I used to be mad and angry when I thought of him with other people, but I shut down those feelings for him awhile ago now. Now I just want him happy and able to be who he really is.

But I have to get ready for my day date tomorrow. I don't really feel any of these people for a relationship. There is one guy and girl that I am feeling kind of, but they are kinda messed up in the head. They are church kids and all sorts of drama going on in their life. Smh...can't be bothered with them.

I'll give you guys an update on other things happening in my life later...gotta go and get some more work done. I got some momentum building. Ttyl!!

J-Bo

P.S. Before anyone can say anything and maybe this is also for myself, but I really do wish Van happiness with the man he ends up with. I hope he gets the man of his dreams, and gets the family that he has always dreamed of. I know that is what I am looking for. God deliver it to me tonight.