Love vs. Attraction

I needed to sit down and have a real hard look at the feelings that I've been feeling.

I was thinking about what is the difference between love and attraction. Attraction comes and goes. It can be physical it can be intellectual and I guess it can be other things as well.

I've been mixing the two together. Love is something deep...lasting, and true. It is the thing that even though years have passed there is something still there. Attraction is different.

Attraction is fleeting. It can come and go. You see someone and they look attractive. You are at an event like TED talks and someone gives a speech and they are attractive because of what they say and how they say it.

Another aspect is one time I was attracted to a female pastor. Not because she was physically all that appealing, but because there was something about the way she delivered her message and what her message was all about.

I think about someone like Van. That to me was love.. I mean we were out, proud, open, bold, ready to commit. It's funny how I still hear stories of people saying how great our relationship was...smh.

One of the guys that I was having fun with decided he didn't want to be with me. It is the same guy who didn't like that fact that I was a singer and better musician than him. He also didn't like the fact that I was so well rounded that I knew about his area of expertise almost as much as him.

I told him that I used to want to be a scientist and bio geneticist. He didn't care. So that guy is gone...to be honest I was attracted to his looks and the fact that he made me feel good and hot.

He didn't like the fact that I still cared about and loved Van. I told him I could lie to him, but that would do nothing. I told him the truth and he didn't like it. I mean I am not with Van, but I still care about him.

My life won't be upset over losing this guy. He was nice and all, but obviously messed up. He gave me great flirts, and video chats, and such. But I gotta move on...

J-Bo

P.S. Past few days I've had people come to me for relationship advice. All the while I feel like a loser sometimes cause the person I want to be in a relationship with is gone. At least Van reignited my love for medicine and science. Meeting some interesting people in that world now. God where are you taking me?!?!?!? Enjoying the ride!!!! :-)