What is the cause of this travesty??? Communication and also fears. It is such a sad thing...this happens everyday.
The real sad thing is that A had kinda proposed to D and D was happy. But b/c A is planning on leaving the state to move down south they kinda both had one foot out the door. It is so stupid, b/c neither one of them wanted to break up.
It was just b/c they were not listening to each other, and acting like total assholes. In the past I would sit them down and make them see where each other is coming from, but they have to step up as men and do the work.
They have to come to me, and ask for help and guidance. They can have it, but they have to stop sabotaging themselves.
It is right there for them, but they are so damn simple...AND STUPID!!!!!
This is the article that I sent to them...I hope they learn from this. I am no longer going to go out of my way for ppl who don't want it. When God sends you someone that you can love and build a life with than you should honor that.
No reason people are dying alone, and getting divorced left and right. It isn't that people don't want to be in love...they just don't have the strength to do it. I know what it feels like and I honored that. I will never forget and will be swimming in it again...fully. :-)
So I wish them the best, and if I am called upon I will be there for them just like I would be for anyone else.
Now back to watching Private Practice. There is this doctor that I met at the hospital and he is a great distraction. Keeping my mind off of Van, and on someone else. This guy is a successful E.R. doctor, rich, a christian, and super fine.
Why I consider him to be below Van confuses me, but I am just going crazy. This guy is fine...he knows who he is and where he wants to go. He also has such a love for God and he doesn't wear it on his sleeve. He doesn't feel the need to parade his Christianity infront of people like others I know.
I was trying to be like that. To show my love for God to all who I saw. I wanted to try and parade my religion around for ppl to see. But that isn't me...Jesus didn't need to do that. People saw there was something special and unique about him before he even opened up his mouth.
I hope this helps others like it helped some and it helped me.
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One of the most common – and most destructive – pitfalls in any relationship is the phenomenon known as projection. Projection
occurs when we attach a quality, belief, motive, or feeling that we
have disowned in ourselves onto another person. For example, to avoid
feeling that we’re not good enough, we judge others as inadequate.Projection is destructive to relationships for two major reasons: 1.) It prevents us from truly knowing and accepting ourselves, and 2.) It prevents us from truly knowing and accepting others. In addition, the traits or feelings we have denied in ourselves have an unexpressed energy acts like a magnet, repeatedly attracting the “wrong” people into our lives until we’re willing to accept both the light and dark sides of ourselves.
Frequently, we are unaware that we are projecting and are unaware that the very trait we are projecting is our own. A man who secretly thinks that his boss secretly hates him may actually be projecting his own hidden rage against authority. Or a woman who is feeling tempted to have an extramarital affair may project her desires onto her husband and become obsessed with the idea that he is being unfaithful. At one point or another, we have all used projection as an unconscious defense to avoid looking inward.
Embracing Your Wholeness
The essential nature of the universe is the coexistence of opposites. You cannot be virtuous if you do not have the capacity for evil. You cannot be wise if you do not have an inner fool. And you cannot be generous if you do not have a stingy person inside you. In fact, the most enlightened people are those who accept their own ambiguity and full potential for light and dark. As the ancient Vedic sages observed, “The measure of your enlightenment is your level of comfort with your own paradoxes.”The first step to stop projecting is to see when you’re doing it. Negativity is a major clue that you are projecting, for projection is never neutral. It expresses itself as negative energy because what it’s disguising is negative.
Contact your hidden feelings. The moment that you realize you may be projecting a hidden feeling, tune into what that feeling is. Don’t delay because the opportunity will quickly evaporate. Just before you deploy your defense, you actually feel that which you don’t want to feel. Ask yourself, What am I feeling right now? and notice the sensations in your body. Feelings are so named because we feel them in our body. Our mind may try to rationalize or dismiss feelings, but the body never lies. To connect with your feelings, you will need to be alert, wiling, open, honest, and courageous.
Make peace with your feelings. Once you are in touch with your feelings, acknowledge them. Don’t attack them, bemoan them, attempt to change them, or even try to feel “fine” about your unwanted feelings. All of these strategies reinforce denial of your authentic inner life. Feelings have feelings, and they know when they are unwanted and will cooperate by going underground. Fear cooperates by trying to hide. Anger cooperates by pretending it doesn’t exist. It’s impossible to accept an unwanted feeling, and until you simply allow and acknowledge a feeling, it will persist. That is all you need to do. Tell your feeling, “I see you. You belong to me.”
As you practice acknowledging your
feelings, they will start to feel less unwanted and then they will begin
to tell you their story. Every feeling contains a story: “I am this way
for a reason.” Be receptive to the story that emerges, no matter what
it is. Most painful stories of guilt, shame, resentment, inferiority,
and other primal negativity are rooted in childhood. Imagine the small
child that you were and, as best you can, be gentle and accepting.
Remind yourself that you had a valid reason for denying or rejecting a
feeling or aspect of yourself.
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