Married!!!! :-)

So Pastor and Tony tied the note...they flew straight up near Vermont or landed in Vermont, got married and then headed back all without anyone being the wiser.

I am really happy that they can take their 20+ long relationship and honor it how they have chosen.

Of course Pastor said it was all a formality since him and Tony have been soul tied and "married" before the Lord long before this.

He said that their meeting and connection was ordained, and nothing could ever sever it. It could only be masked and ignored, but it would always be there.

I guess those are words from a man that has had some history. :-)

Now off to bed...happy Sunday everyone!!! :-)

J-Bo

So much done, but still a lot to do

I have had a pretty good time today. I really wish today was longer, and I had the car for longer so that I could go for a joy ride....but maybe later.

All I can tell you guys right now is that I am making some serious moves, and things are really starting to come together. I haven't felt it this good in a long time.

So today is short and sweet cause I have to get back to work.

I may also get invited to sing in London at some big church event, and I am really on them so hopefully I can do it. I would get paid 4 figures, and get free travel and room and board.

I am very pleased with myself. Things are coming together...I hate having to change and expand so much.

It is scary and nerve racking, but it must be done.

J-Bo

I think I am starting to really love COGIC =)

This is a video that was sent to me by a friend.

Not really a friend, but someone on the General Board in COGIC...

Not sure how they got my info, but they sent this to me, and I want to share it with you guys.

Of course he cannot come out in favor of gay people directly, but look at what the leader of the entire COGIC denom is saying. You have to read between the lines, and see what is really going on.

I am actually proud of his courage and strength...he can't have it easy after this, but at least he is taking a stand and someone has to.

I might actually stop by his church when I go to Cali... :-)

Between a rock and a hard place

Tomorrow Van takes his MCATs...

I know that you guys don't know him, and I am sure that he doesn't care about my prayers and my well wishes, but I am asking that you guys send your prayers that way.

I don't care your denomination or faith all I care is that you wish him the best.

It is important that he does very well...I don't want him to go to any medical school...

It is true a part of me wants him to go to a medical school that is close, but far enough where he can get away from his family, but...

I don't have the right to make any such request...we are not together. Hell we aren't even talking.

So I am going to send out my prayers, and I ask that you guys do the same thing...this is a very special young black man looking to do something good in his life.

We can all appreciate that.

J-Bo

P.S. I want to at least send him a text telling him good luck, but I am frozen. I don't know if it is more pride than fear or what. W/e it is he doesn't care to ever hear what happens, and he is more than happy to have me just never happen. I am including a quote/saying at the end that is so true...under different circumstances I could have this part of my life done, and he could have something he thought he would never have and wasn't supposed to have. God what did you do?? But I have to be careful...God does part of the work (like bringing us together) but the other part is on us to fulfill. Smh...

P.P.S. I told everyone to just keep my name out of their mouth. That way I can fade and he have it that I never existed at all. I know he doesn't read my blog, and I know he wants to bury any feelings for me at all.  So hopefully they are all wishing him luck and I am praying that he does his absolute best tomorrow...

"I met the right one, at the wrong time."

Good to WORST DREAM EVER!!!!!!!!!

So I had a dream that I was fighting the forces of evil.

I was a vampire/werewolf hybrid and I was fighting the evils of the world.

I mean I was kicking ass...like for real.

I was loving it, and even though there were close calls and I almost lost my life many times over the past few battles, but I never fell.

There were even times where I was taken over as a prisoner, but I always made it out...true by the skin of my teeth, but I had to use brains and brawn to make it out. :-)

Then I wake up to go use the bathroom, and rush back to sleep to get into my dream. I couldn't wait. I felt myself falling back into the dream and couldn't wait.

Sidebar: I hate the fact that we dream every night, but we never remember our dreams...or at least the majority of them. I would love to remember what my subconscious is telling me. :-(

Anyway so I get back into my dream and I am just walking around. I go to some apartment, and can you believe who is there, but Van. I am like WTF!!!!

But it isn't like he is there waiting for me...he was there with some other guy. They were going at it...I mean I know we are not together, but the thought of another man touching him makes me sick. I don't know why.

If you are wondering why I always have powers it's because I see myself as one of those unique individuals that have unique abilities. :-)

I don't care who he sleeps with, but the guy he was with was so ANNOYING!!!! Is it weird that I want to not only find this guy and kick his ass for putting his hands on Van, but I also want to fuck the shit out of Van so that he never thinks about another man again!!!!

Is that weird? I swear I don't care about him anymore.

But real talk if I was to hear that...espeicially from him I would have to school my face something serious. Now if it was him and some chick I wouldn't worry about that...I would laugh at that and not even think twice.

Why is another man touching him?? What is so good about him that I am lacking?? I have to go out for a run and work this out of my body!!!

Happy Friday morning people.

J-Bo

Getting it off my chest...

Just wanted to share these songs with you guys...they are touching my heart and I would sing these to Van if I could.

Why is this man still in me?? I mean I am meeting people that are better in all areas: career, finances, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and time wise but for some reason he is always there.

God please tell me what you want to tell me...

So while I wait for the answer here are some songs.

What I needed...

So I had a pretty fun rehearsal today.

It was nice and I felt like we got through a lot. Thank God for that...

Then it was off to the races to go with my mother to do some tax stuff...I was not in a good mood by then, but I held it together.

Then I came home and was about to pass out when Aaron and Dishone called saying they wanted to come over.

I said why not.

I am so glad they came over...just having them over made my night. The day was awesome, and then to end off the night like this is what I really wanted and needed. :-)

It was all laughs and fun. Of course Dishone pulled me to the side to tell me some of his reservations about moving down south. He wants to do it, but some things are concerning him. He wants to talk them out later.

I am going to help...I cannot turn away someone in need...or at least it is very hard to do.

So we are going to talk about what his fears and concerns are about moving down there, and honestly he is going to have to talk to Aaron about this himself, but if he wants to bounce ideas off me first then I am more than happy.

Also I brought back up therapy and counseling. He wants to do it, but apparently Aaron wouldn't like what he would hear, and doesn't like to be told he is wrong. Too damn bad.

I wish they would just get this little thing done...I mean they have come so far already thank God. I want them to realize they have something very special and unique.

I mean they have something that most people will never experience...love. I was happy to have it, and I want it again. Not going into that anymore. :-)

Goodnight for now ppl...gotta get ready to see if my friends from San Fran, and Memphis are coming up here to get married...if they are I cannot wait to see them share in this awesome moment.

Goodnight.

J-Bo

P.S. I am shocked to learn that Aaron and Dishone said that they will go the life partners route and don't want to tread on the marriage ground. Van and I were all ready to get married when we got older and more life stuff finished. God I had something really great and special...gotta keep praying for God to send me that love and passion and commitment back in my life...for good this time. :-)

P.P.S. I won't be getting married until I hit somewhere in my early 30s and I am getting a prenuptial...hearing too many horror stories, and too many people in relationships they hate and cannot leave b/c they fear about the financial issues, and too many people getting married then divorcing without a moments hesitation. Smh...