My Family

I got my cousins over here, and we are having a great time. They can't really hang with me, and I am taking more of a big brother/cousin role with all of them, but it is nice.

It just reminds me why people say they want to only deal with their own kids or have no kids at all. They are fun and everything, but MY GOD!!!!! :-)

So it is all cool, and I love my lil cousins. But when they go home tomorrow I won't shed a tear cause there will be peace once again.

So I haven't gotten much work done these past 2 days, but I have been getting some done. It is hard staying motivated and progressing at a reasonable rate with what I am doing. I feel like it is me moving a mountain...so much work.

I almost feel like I cannot do it, and I need some help. But I am doing my best. I sometimes just wanna go with the regular people and do something reasonable and lower my expectations. I just wonder what it would feel like to be ok with a normal job, and doing everything that would make people happy. I wonder what it would feel like to be comfortable.

The guy who has been really wanting to be on my dick has stopped talking to me. I think he found out that I cannot give him what he wants and needs. I am not in the place right now. I wanted to, but it was hard...especially since he was so super duper feminine. I mean I cannot get behind a man who says toodles and is serious about it.

Now I am not saying anything against fem men, but they are just not my taste. I have my benchmark for feminine men, and he wasn't it. Now there are some white men and women who I've been talking to, but I am not sure.

Sometimes I keep thinking...nevermind. It is what it is...I'll just casually date and have fun. I keep getting reminders of Van. Little things...like now I am watching Sister Act and that was always his way of joking on me. :-)

Even on Christmas my little niece asked about him. Smh...

Anyway everyone go out and see Django. I'm going to have to catch Les Miserables and Jack Reacher...maybe during the week sometime.

J-Bo