Awesome SUNDAY SERVICE!!!!

So Church was awesome today...I mean it was something I will never forget.

I got in a good praise and a good worship today.

I swear this Pastor is something serious...he is so passionate about people developing a personal relationship, and being Christ-like to a fault.

I then of course had a good convo with Aaron and Dishone. Aaron and I both are emotionally and mentally drained and are in real bad need of a vacation. So a vacation we shall have.

I also put my name down to help with the ministry in the church...not sure how it will work, because the church hasn't opened the doors of membership yet. But we will see...I look forward to helping and lending my talents and gifts.

I also am ashamed that if you can believe it I wanted to hate Van...I wanted to never think of him again. I am still disappointed and mad at him for being such a punk and scared of everything.

I mean his brother and sister are so brave, and his cousins are doing them. Even the other 2 youth in the church that I met that I am really close with are about living their own lives even if the church don't like it. They get that what the church wants and God wants don't always add up.

I was still seething over his message to me.

I wanted him to be dead to me...obviously I was coming from a place of hurt.

I needed to ask myself better questions to get better answers than the ones I have been getting.

Two of my new favorite questions is to ask:

1. What else could this mean?
2. What other meaning could I attach to this to make it empowering and positive instead of negative and hurtful?

So I don't hate Van...I want to hurt him though...like smack him upside his head. I want to throw him into a wall, or something to that effect.


I told my best friend Tarif that I hated him, and he could kick rocks. I told him that Van ain't shit to me anymore, and he could get hit by a car for all I care.

Tarif looked at me and said yeah right nigga...who you trying to fool. God I hate him sometimes.

Time to take a nap and then get to work. Love you guys so much for reading.

J-Bo

P.S. I forgot to say Happy Pride...this is more than a LGBT holiday. This is a day to have pride in being an individual, in being unique, in being who God made you to be. Tall, short, gay, straight, black, white, mixed, and more today is a day to be proud of who you are.