Friday, May 31, 2013

White Church vs. Black Church TOO FUNNY!!!

So I had to share this...if anyone is offended please don't be. It is all in fun.

I am rolling watching this. I am on my way to sing tonight, and just wanted to send this out before I left for the night.

Part 2 is funnier to me, but here is both of them.



J-Bo

Gay ‘cure’ victims tell stories of suicide, flashbacks and sex abuse

 Most gays and lesbians who have gone through ‘conversion therapy’ say they have been harmed long-term – isolated, depressed and in sham marriages, says new survey
Crucifix: Religion motivated many people to join the ex-gay movement but they were left depressed, angry and harmed.
Photo by Scott Nunn.

Gays and lesbians who go through gay ‘cures’ have told how it has left them suicidal or depressed with many reporting having sex with their counselors.

The Ex-Gay Survivor’s Survey has been published by Jallen Rix on the Beyond Ex Gay website.

The survey was designed not to be a scientific sample but to give a voice to those who have gone through ‘conversion therapy’ to turn them straight – which the World Health Organization has labeled as misguided and dangerous.

It shows 92% were harmed by the process, with many saying they were ‘devastated’.

And 84% of victims say the damage continues to this day.

One person says: ‘After the 11th electro-shock session (there were meant to be 12), I attempted suicide.’

Another reports: ‘[I] literally broke down and couldn’t take my hate for myself.’

While a third says: ‘I felt like I was bleeding to death, and no progress was being made.’

Many people in the survey quit the ex-gay movement, simply because it wasn’t working.

One says: ‘I saw that NOBODY was being changed.’

While another reports: ‘Once I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to become straight, I started hoping that I would get in an accident or get a disease or something so I could die because I was so unhappy but didn't want to go to hell for suicide.’

In fact, the so-called therapists and religious ministers leading the process were often having homosexual sex with those they were supposed to be ‘curing’.

One says: ‘My reparative therapy counselor initiated “holding therapy” with me, which progressed into intimate physical activity between us. It was my first experience with a man (at age 26), I was in an extremely conservative Christian community, and the counselor knew I would be hesitant to tell anyone.’

While another reports: ‘[I left because I] was sexually active with the leader of the ministry.’

And a third victim says: ‘I was sexually molested by an ex-gay “councilor”.’

While reading books, attending group sessions, going on heterosexual dates and prayer were common activities, the survey highlights more extreme ‘reparative therapy’ techniques including fasting, exorcism or even getting married.

Respondents in the study report how these marriages were often a ‘sham’.

One woman says: ‘I was worn out pretending to be straight in my marriage. My husband and I fought all the time about sex because I didn’t like it.’

While another writes how she is still in a seven-year long marriage with two children.

She says: ‘During that time I have struggled with depression, anxiety, and eating disorders. I attribute these mostly to leading a life that is a complete lie.

‘Sex is painful. I reject my husband’s advances daily, which hurts his self-esteem. I am lonely for the emotional and physical needs only a woman can fulfill. I am miserable but there are now three [other] people who are suffering, not just me.

‘I am at a breaking point and am trying to figure out if I should leave my husband or not. He did nothing wrong and feels like I am abandoning him.

‘I have never cheated on my husband. I love him and would never want to hurt him and would never be dishonest to him about this. But I honestly cannot live this lie of a life anymore.’

The survey also shows religion was the major driver for people entering the ex-gay movement. Only 1.3% of those in the survey said they were atheist when they started, although leaving the ex-gay movement also coincided with many leaving religion altogether.

Rix concludes his introduction to the survey with an appeal to ex-gay leaders.

He says: ‘I know you may not like what you see in these responses, but guess what, we can agree on that! I don’t like what I see in these responses, either.

‘Let’s set in motion a comprehensive, unbiased study and action plan so that none of the damage ever has to happen again.

‘Ultimately, whether or not any of this sinks into your heart, here is what over 400 people have said about your work and I figured you would want to know.’

http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/gay-cure-victims-tell-stories-suicide-flashbacks-and-sex-abuse310513

Grandma, 72, writes gay marriage love song with help from God


Sherri Gray, a 72-year-old grandmother of eight from Nashville, has composed a gay rights anthem.
Photo by Sherri Gray.

http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/grandma-72-writes-gay-marriage-love-song-help-god300513

A woman with eight grandchildren has composed a song for her lesbian niece and fiancée's upcoming wedding

A grandma of eight, 72, has written a gay marriage song that she believes may have been a result of divine intervention.

Sherri Gray, from Nashville, Tennessee, took to a (slightly) out-of-tune piano and poured her heart out.

She was inspired by her lesbian niece and fiancée’s upcoming wedding in August.

The song, ‘What If We Are Just Like You? (Shannon and Lisa’s Song)’, might be performed by Gray at the girls’ wedding in Columbus, Ohio.

‘I’m not an activist, but I get goddamn mad by narrow-mindedness and prejudice and crazy stuff,’ she told Gay Star News.

‘My belief is who are we to say what is a soul? What color, what gender, what nationality is a soul?

How can we put a label on anybody?’

While Gray doesn’t go to church she feels like ‘divine intervention’ may have been involved, as she hasn’t written a song in decades.

‘I’m not a religious nut but I think the universe, God, someone said “OK here you go kiddo, here’s another song.” It just came to me,’ she said.

When her niece and fiancée heard the song, they called it the ‘best wedding gift ever’ and asked her to perform it at their reception.

Gray said: ‘It’s not just for all LGBT people, as there are a heck of a lot of people who love folks who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender.

‘We’re not all crazy, we’re not all nutjobs, and we don’t hate all LGBT people.’

Gray said her dream is if a LGBT organization took on the song and performed it, saying she envisions it as being sung by a group.

Gay Marriage: Social Revolution or Cultural Shift

http://www.gaystarnews.com/article/oprah-suggests-gay-people-can-help-institution-marriage310513

Oprah Winfrey said same-sex couples ‘can help’ improve the institution of marriage.
During an episode of Super Soul Sunday, which airs on her Oprah Winfrey Network (OWN), Oprah started a panel conversation by asking if nation-wide support for same-sex marriage should be considered a social revolution or a cultural shift.

Oprah also asked if the traditional institution of marriage would need to be reevaluated if same-sex marriage is legalized in all 50 states. Same-sex marriage is currently legal in 12 states, with the Illinois House of Representatives expected to vote today on a proposed gay marriage bill.

The discussion, titled Gay Marriage: The Big Picture, featured guest speakers that included Rev. Ed Bacon, a Los Angeles priest.

Elizabeth Lesser, one of the guest speakers and founder of adult education center the Omega Institute, said: ‘The institution of marriage is already in trouble, long before gays were getting married’.
‘Maybe the gay people can help [the institution of marriage],’ said Oprah.

Rev. Bacon said that the institution of marriage would be ‘enriched’ if same-sex couples were to be included.

‘I’ve never had a straight couple come to me and say, “My marriage is in trouble because of a gay couple living next door”.’

Watch the full panel discussion in the following video:

Lessons From Living WIth My Boyfriend

Disclaimer this is not me, just a post that was sent to me, that I think you guys would like.

It applies to straights and LGBT. All ppl from all over the world and all situations.

J-Bo

http://www.musedmagonline.com/2013/05/lessons-from-living-with-my-boyfriend/

Until recently, few people actually knew I was in a relationship. This may be due to the fact that I hardly changed once I entered into one. For the first few years, I was still a huge flirt. It also could be due to the fact that I’m very private when it comes to love. I don’t put anything about my relationship on Twitter, Facebook, etc. It really isn’t anyone’s business, right?

Being in a relationship, I’m constantly surprised by how we’ve made it this far in a world of sluts and whores (no offense to anyone). I’m shocked at how happy we are and I’m even more stunned by how second nature our relationship is. Last year, we finally moved in together (I say finally because it took us three years), and after living with a significant other for over a year, I’ve learned a few things about relationships that I really hadn’t considered.

It’s important to say what’s on your mind. My man is a talker. He’s extremely outgoing and he loves to tell me stories. I can count on at least two long conversations every day, one right after work and one before bed. Moral of the story is, he has no problem saying what’s on his mind. I, on the other hand, can be much more silent. I don’t like when people ask me a millions questions and I refuse to talk to you while I’m watching my favorite show. Somehow, we make it through this. He knows when I tell him that he’s being too loud that I really mean “I’m trying to watch this so could you shut up?” And I know that when he continues to talk that he wants my undivided attention.

But you can’t be mean. Sometimes, I have to refrain from telling him that he’s already told me this story six times and that I’m sick to death of hearing it. And I’m sure he wants to tell me that the video game I’m playing is stupid compared to what he has to say. Or when I’m trying to sleep and he’s banging on his computer or phone and the light is bothering my eyes, I have to refrain from saying in a smart ass way, “why can’t you go into the living room?!”

Sometimes you get too comfortable. Love isn’t always romantic. Like, 9 times out of 10, there is no romance whatsoever. People like to post pictures on Facebook and Instagram of happy moments. But let me tell you, nothing really goes as planned. You miss reservations, get caught in storms, argue in public, get drunk and fall asleep on mass transit, forget concert tickets at home and argue over who will wash the dishes and do laundry. That’s life.

You start to find the smallest things romantic. There’s something about coming home and he’s brought you a red velvet cupcake because you had a rough day. Or staying in drinking wine all night while you watch really bad Netflix movies like “Leave It On the Floor.” Or debating about which of the “Real Housewives” is better than the other, or refusing to watch “Game of Thrones” without the other. Sometimes life is when we’re lying in bed playing game after game of FunRun.

Life really does change though. And I don’t mean in an oh-I-don’t-have-time-to-hang-out-with-my-friends type of change. More like I’m going to buy this gross lime ice cream because he likes it. Suddenly, all of your discussions include him. Some may see this as a burden, but in reality you really don’t think about it all that much. You’ll be at a restaurant and you don’t even think about ordering those fattening nachos because he doesn’t like guacamole or black beans.

There are, however, a lot of things that don’t change. Hopefully you find someone that likes all the weird shit you do. I’m not the only one who likes to drink wine, eat greasy pizza or Chinese food out the box while watching old episodes of “Sex and the City” or “Roseanne” in my underwear. Apparently, I’m not the only one who likes to recite random quotes from “The Color Purple” and “Mean Girls” as they pertain to everyday life. And thank God, I’m not the only who understands the importance of bottomless mimosas, afternoon naps and documentaries.

Some things are hard for no reason. Even though there are two people in the house now, the tedious things of life never really get easier. Remembering to do laundry, pick up clothes from the dry cleaners and cleaning is still tough. As a unit, you’ll still forget to grocery shop, you’ll still forget to pay a bill and you will constantly run out of lube.

But no worries, it’s all a learning process. Luckily you’ll have great partner to make this journey with.

Ernani: 2 Down 2 To Go

So tonight was another performance. This one went a whole lot more smoothly, but still we had our mistakes.

The thing I am not happy about is that you can clearly hear my voice above everyone else!!!!! I just want my voice to blend, but I have to sing out.

Something to work on I guess.

The super cute boy performed today and the other performs on Saturday. Looking forward to hanging out with the cast Saturday. Everyone is already looking forward to being able to drink some alcohol and have a good time that night. To signal the end of the show...I know I need me a few drinks.

So I feel like I am being harassed. I got one guy in Jersey who wants to come out and see me ASAP and I keep telling him no, but he ain't listening.

Then there is another guy in San Francisco who wants to fly me out there to stay for a few weeks and do some auditions and stuff out there. I am tempted with this one cause I get to travel, but I am not the one to just play with people's emotions.

The guy in San Fran is a better match for me, but he is still in the closet and looks over his shoulder.

I don't care if you are discreet, but I cannot deal with closet cases. I am all for being discreet and just not being all out there like that, cause that is me. I don't know what to do.

I might also fly to LA to do some studio work and that sounds like it can be fun and promising, but I have work to do. I have to pray on a lot of things and see what my next course of action will be.

Time for bed...gotta rest up for tomorrow night.

Good news is that my vocal stamina is getting up there...I can really see myself doing a whole opera as a lead. I of course need my voice lessons, coaching, therapist, and doctor on board and on call, but that will all come easy.

Till next time.

Actually going to post a post a friend showed me that I just feel like sharing.

J-Bo

Thursday, May 30, 2013

Invictus

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Ernani's Opening Nigh!!!

So i just got home from doing the opera.

It wasn't all that bad. Of course we missed cues, forgot words, and all in all had an awesome time.

3 more days to go and then we are done. I love what we are doing, but it would be sweeter if we were getting paid to do it.

No bother...going to get my ass into bed now and get ready for a long day tomorrow.

I can sleep in and then go into perform later that night.

Things are moving people. Now I just got work on making these businesses profitable, and get these songs written so I can start recording my first album. :-D

Off to bed...nothing else to really talk about I don't think. People are acting kinda weird around me, but that isn't unusual...it is what it is. I just roll with it and live my life.

J-Bo

Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Scheherazade

YES!!!!!

This just touched my heart...I love this piece of music so much. I remember when I first heard it. I was holding my nephew in my arms for the first time and he was sleeping on my chest.

I love this...gotta hear it live again.


J-Bo

I Give Up

I have let go of everyone that I have been talking to.

Except for one guy who is so damn nice, that I don't want to hurt his feelings. I just tell him all I want right now is a friend, and he seems that he is ready and willing to comply so that works out great.

I just came from really awesome day date with a beautiful Persian woman. I mean she is so damn curvy, sexy, and exotic that I was blown away.

It is raining her in the city and we started making out in the rain by the pier.

She kept on saying all the right things in my ear, and I fell in love. Well super lust. I've been honry for awhile and with only my hand to keep me company I was ready to explode.

So we had sex in the rain in the bushes. I mean it was real hot and real animalistic. I loved it, and it was just what I needed. She was going to be girl for awhile and I made the decision after we had exhausted one another. :-)

So what is the problem you ask?

Well the problem is that she is looking for a husband and I seem to be a great candidate. Now I know I should be flatered, but WHY THE FUCK IS EVERYONE SO FAST TO GET MARRIED?!?!?!?!?!

I mean we only been talking for about a month. I just cannot deal anymore. I am done with it all. No one wants to get to know each other...they just wanna shack up and call it happily ever after.

Not that I don't want to get married cause I do. Whether it is with a man or woman I want my forever ever. I just want it to be real. I don't want it to be with someone who is ready to throw everything into me and just be who and what I want.

I don't want that. I HATE this 1/2 a person coming together with someone else to become a whole...that shit makes me sick to my stomache.

So I have not given up on love, just on looking for it right now. Why should I have to look for it?? God sent me someone and something that was special, and real. He can do it again so I just have to live my life and let him/her come to me.

Now I am gonna dry off a little and then drive to BK to see my friend in the hospital and then back home. Opera performances start tomorrow. :-)

J-Bo

Monday, May 27, 2013

Fast 6

GO SEE FAST AND FURIOUS 6!!!!! AWESOME MOVIE!!!!!

So I went to movies with my family and we had dinner...boring right.

Well I wanted to go and see the new Star Trek, but I was out voted and we saw Fast 6...I was so happy that I lost the vote.

It had everything that I love in a movie. It had romance, violence, action, thriller, mystery, and the love story was awesome.

I have a list of movies that I wanna see this summer and even know. I look forward to the great stories, and getting inspired and entertained.

Now I am off to bed. I just wanted to tell everyone to go and see Fast 6.

Long day tomorrow...gotta get ready for this opera. This is the week to get it done and then the master class.


Pray for me people...things need to get done.

J-Bo

P.S. I was just asked what I would say if I was asked to marry them? One of the men asked me that today. I am flattered cause I don't see what they see in me. My friend told me that I am a rare breed of men...a breed that connects and brings together any and everyone he meets. I just told him I'd be flattered, but would say no. He said he thinks he can change my mind. He apparently comes from money, but that never mattered to me...I can provide for myself...I just want someone to share my life with. Smh...he is persistent. He just told me that he always wants the rare, priceless, and valuable and I am not different. Don't know if I will take that as a challenge or insult. :-D

P.P.S. The guy I mentioned above is COGIC...and apparently his family is rolling in money. I want to turn him away for that alone, but he is so cool. He reminds me of a real cool guy...just way to crazy. My family and me are damn sure no way worth all this trouble.

Sunday, May 26, 2013

Made Me Cry...Well Tear Up

Today in church was so awesome.

I got what I wanted and what I needed.

I got to see all my friends that I haven't seen in awhile and just enjoy the atmosphere.

Then I come home and hear this song...such a melody and arrangement. THE HARMONIES ON THE PIANO KILL ME!!!!!!

I just needed to share this with you guys.

I wanna write and perform a love song like this for people. For the WORLD!!! It just makes me know that I want to be with someone that makes me feel this way. Someone that makes me feel more than complete. Someone that makes me feel the way I used to.

I want to feel this...

I need to feel it again.

I will!! :-)

I am too good a man...God's man. :-D

I want someone that makes me wanna go from a complete person to more of a man. Someone who brings me higher in all areas of my life.


J-Bo

P.S. I wanted to sing this song for a certain someone...but maybe one day I still can.

FUCKING AWESOME DAY!!!

So today started pretty good.

Going over to my best friends house and getting some breakfast and talking to them. Going to see them in church tomorrow so our visit was short.

Then I went to go see one of the kids I mentored when I was younger came out to see me. We had a very nice conversation and I am so proud of him. I mean he is so strong, gentle, compassionate, willing to learn and fail.

It really brings tears to my eyes and I love him so much.

Then opera rehearsal was ok. My voice and body are tired understandably so I marked everything and I was DONE!!!!! Looking forward to this being over so I can focus on technique, rep, and more auditions and competitions.

Then I saw a musical with my girl at Pregones theater in the BX. THAT SHIT WAS AWESOME!!!!

I mean I am not one for all that extraness, but the story was good, harmonies tight, and such talented people.

I am so happy I went to show my support and love. And now I am home and going to bed cause church is in the morning and I am bringing my girl...whom we will call Marla. :-)

I almost forgot that Van is leaving tomorrow...going to send him a text real quick. Don't know if he will respond, but whatever. I don't see why not, but you never know.

Someone once asked me why not treat people the way they treat me?? I simply answered I believe in treating others the way I want to be treated...nothing more and nothing less. :-P

J-Bo

P.S. This is how I started my morning...feeling BLESSED!!!!


Saturday, May 25, 2013

The Past 24 Hours and The Next

So last night rehearsal was...AWESOME!!!!

We actually sang straight through the whole opera and it was pretty good. Nowhere near MET quality mind you, but still. Not bad at all considering most of us only joined within the last 2 months and learning an opera is so damn much work.

So things are coming together and I am happy for that...especially seeing that next week is showtime. :-)

Finally will be done and then it is the masterclass where I can show what I really can do.

And I really wanna hear some of these other singers...I wanna hear what they can do and let them hear what I can do. :-)

Also there are of course a few gay boys...it is the arts after all. Bump that...it's life. There is one that is from Trinidad so he got my eye a little...and he is a tenor. But there is this real pretty little thing who is a bass and he is so damn fine.

All I do is look over his tight little body and tight ass.

I can look right?? I mean I do want to touch, but I gotta remember my rule. He is so damn fine and comes across so damn sweet that I wanna just break my rules for both of them. That's how you get caught and it ain't for me. Smh.

So today I got to see one of the kids I mentor today...hopefully. That and the other side of things is that I want to see my Big 3 today but I may have to wait for next week for that.

I am also doing another rehearsal today and then I get to see a musical...a brand new one that was recently created. This should be fun and interesting.

Two days filled with excitement and now I sit back relaxing getting ready to finish the 2nd half. Time to get ready...gotta shower and all.

More updates to come.

J-Bo

P.S. Van told me to get over my shit and get myself out there. He told me people need and want what I have to offer. He's right. This isn't just about me...it's about others.

Friday, May 24, 2013

So I've Been Accused Of Being Callous

Here I am talking to one of my friends while I sit here and wait for this girl to come so I can teach her and head to rehearsal.

Shirley asked me about Van. Last time we spoke Van was in my life. So I had to catch her up. I told her at first it was real hard, but now I am only longing for what we shared with someone else.

I told told her about our last conversation and she said that I went a little far. I told her I thought I was very appropriate.

She asked me do I still love him. I said I still love him as a person...for all that we shared and experienced, but now in my eyes he is just a very good friend. Nothing more than that.

I told her that I don't want to be with someone who has said out right that they don't want to change. Especially someone who said on many occasions that they are happy to be alone. He has seen that he can be in one, but he doesn't want one.

He has great role models for that. Most of his family on his mother's side is single.

But now she has me thinking. Was I wrong in saying the man I am now can never be with someone like him romantically?? I mean it is the truth. There were times when he did, but why is it my fault.

Did people really think I was going to stop growing, changing, and advancing??

And I had to tell her that he still has growing to do. Medical school and going for his degree is going to change him and force him to grow up...but then again I know doctors that say medical school for them was like freezing in time. They didn't get a chance to have lives and grow...they were stuck in a moment of time and only could focus on school.

Not my problem.

This is not being conceited or anything, but I am a great man. You don't go from being with me to being with just anybody else. It just doesn't happen. And I don't bond to no junk...simple as that.

I just want to be a man that follows God's calling on my life and lives life to the fullest. I want someone who wants to do the same. They don't have to be in my profession, but they should have something that drives them. Support me as I support them.

It did piss me off that he thought I still wanted him. He never understood that the way I treat him is the same as I do everyone else...only difference is the level of intimacy and he doesn't gain access to that anymore.

But I'm being called a dick for speaking my truth.

I guess I can see how someone can get it wrong and think that I want to be with them all because I want the relationship and connection again...the thing is that he assumes that it was with him. God gave it to me before...he can easily do it again. Just gotta wait. :-)

This dude is texting me right now who lives in Jersey who've I've only skyped with and talked to on the phone. Talking about he wanna come and see me, and wonders what it would be like to live with me forever. -_-

Really dude...slow it down. A LOT!!!

So I convinced her I was in the right. And that he wouldn't take offense to anything. I got big things to accomplish and I only want people who believe in me and want to support and help me. Everyone else can go on and do what it is that they want.

She then says so then cut him off and throw him away. I told her why would I do that...he never hurt me. He had a lesson to teach me and he did it. As far as I am concerned he is a dear friend. He has opened my heart, mind, and soul again in ways that were dead.

Also casting him aside is pointless...he is the runner not me. I value people and good relationships too much. If he was poisonous than I would, but he ain't doing me no harm...

So now this girl is here...time to get paid. Not looking forward to rehearsal or this opera seeing how I feel very unprepared, but them is the brakes. :-P

Van always has a home with me...as all my friends do. He is a good friend who is actually a best friend, he is a confidant, and he is BFA. That boy is pure gold to me...just like the Big 3, BFAs, and other groups of friends that I have.

J-Bo

P.S. This blog is losing it's usefulness...I had it at a time in my life and it doesn't fit. Changes to be made. Look out for it.

Should I Feel Insulted or Honored

So as you know of my last post I sent Van a message saying I would love to keep the lines of communication open.

He sends me a message saying that he thinks that it isn't for the best cause it will bring feelings back up for me and stuff. :-/

I didn't know if I should be insulted he feels that I am like that, or if I should be honored that he is thinking about my well-being.

But I told him that I do still want what we had, but not with him. I cannot imagine having that with him. I need someone who first and foremost wants to be loved and wants to love. He is ok with being alone forever...that is not for me at all.

Bottom line I told him I'm always here for him, but do not think that I want him. It would be great if it were that easy, but why do that. Not worth it...the man I am cannot be with him...I demand a higher level of everything in my partners now.

Van taught me to be with someone in my own league and not those who aren't in my league don't deserve to have that intimate personal space with me.

So the ball is in his court, but I am not living my life at a higher level and I am glad that I did and said what I did. I did mean it when I said I want good-great people around me, and Van falls into that category.

So I don't want to be his man...I want to be his friend, but if not I don't lose sleep.

Now this girl is calling me...she wants to hang out with me today. Not in the mood, but I do love the way how she massages me, and she is such eye candy I always get looks when I am with her. Nothing wrong with being a little vain. :-)

She wants some dick, but last time we were together this bitch would choke, bite, slap, and scratch me. Not in the good fun way either. She was in the I want to see blood kinda realm...not for me. But she is hot as hell and a great fuck from what I remember...but still not for me.

I don't know if our paths will ever cross again...maybe in a professional matter. Maybe not...I do wonder what kind of man he will grow to become and what he will accomplish in the future.

Enough about him...this is about me!!!! GOT MOVES TO MAKE PPL!!!! Rehearsal, practice, and business to do today. Ttyl!!

J-Bo

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Awesome Covers

Just wanted to share some covers with you guys...look up the originals and hear these...you will love them. The first one is nice...not my favorite, but still.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gDNR2eddQqc
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4K5JuyRwsqk


This last one is the winner of American Idol Candace Glover and I LOVE HER!!!!! I would marry this one...despite the fact where most of my desires lean to. She could keep me happy for a little while before dick starts calling my name again. Sad but true. :-P


J-Bo

Today Was A Good Day

Today was a good day.

Today was a very good day in fact.

I am feeling very good...I got a lot of work done today, but not as much as I wanted to get done. Still I made improvements and moves.

I am very excited

I just need to keep moving forward and keep doing all the things that I need to do.

Still gotta go over this music, but I am going to be in the city all day the following 2 days so I am going to make something happen and work it out.

I also want to send Van a message asking him a question.

No I am not thinking about getting back with him. It just felt really good talking to him and having someone who knows me so well around me. I like the fact that there is someone out there who knows me, and who supports me and vice versa.

So I am going to ask if he wants to keep in contact via text...very low forms of contact. I know he is leaving soon, and going to be busy, and I have my own projects and ventures that I am doing. I also know that we both will have free time and quick little communications are cool.

That is what I am going to send to him when this post is finished.

I am sure he already has a guy he is talking to like I have guys and girls I talk to that I can flirt with and give me that attention, and that is great. I don't want that from him. I just want a friend...and he knows me sometimes better than I would like to admit. And I am a valuable person to have in anyone's corner if I do say so myself. :-)

I have resolved that one of the big lessons that I have learned from being with Van is when someone tells you who they are, believe them. They know them, better than you do.

Another lesson that I learned from dealing with Van is to stay away from super religious people in a relationship form unless they are developing there own relationship that is unique to them with God...something Van is doing btw and has been doing. It's just that his spiritual/religious life has been and is so tied to his family and church that it is almost carbon copy.

Another lesson I learned is only be with someone who is comfortable and confident in who they are...Van had that in spades, but at the same time he didn't. All of this stems from the way he was taught to view and believe...so I learned my lesson.

He is a great friend and I truly believe he is a great person.

Also I am under the impression that this man don't feel nothing for me. I mean I couldn't read him at all. All I could tell was that he was real whatever around me. Of course he was one person I could never read. He just broke all my powers of perception.

He is unreadable to me...he is dangerous for that. He gets through all my strengths and weaknesses, yet compliments them.

He is the Bella to my Edward. I cannot read his mind even a little...my powers mean nothing. Yeah I did a Twilight reference. :-P

Now to go and get ready for tomorrow...gotta see if I am leaving early or not.

J-Bo

P.S. Someone asked me if I would ever be with Van again. I honestly don't know. The only issue we ever had was the religious on and that is easily fixed, but it isn't for me to fix it. I don't want to go back into that and neither does he. I just want someone who wants to give me what I need...he was giving it to me, but it didn't work out cause he beliefs tell him it was all wrong. Those don't change we would be in the same place...why do that. We are better off not getting into that again. He can be alone forever or get married to a woman, and I can be married to whomever and that is it. I do still love him and care about him of course, but that isn't enough. 

Wednesday, May 22, 2013

Last One I Promise

So I just got off the phone with my one of my mentors.

I decided to ask him his advice and he told me what I knew.

I am always going to be his friend and always be there for him if I am ever needed. That is the kind of man I am.

I just wish he could see the truth about being gay, but that is another thing.

My mentor asked me a series of question. He wanted to test me I guess. We talked about business and life.

Funny how Van went ahead and called it. He made me in 2 seconds. No one else called me on being afraid, but he did. That man gets under my skin for some reason. He just gets through me.

The last thing my mentor asked me was that if Van ever made a move on me would I fight him off and win. Would I ever keep him in check and keep him at bay. That if he would not claim who he really is as a gay man and come to terms that there is nothing wrong that I would be wasting my time.

I knew what he was doing.

He just wanted to test my reaction.

I told him I would stay in control and nothing would happen. All I want is a friendship and I do believe I have that with him...

I told him Van has no power or influence in my life anymore...that he is just like these dudes on the street. I have been getting approached every once and awhile. I decide I don't want sex and I get ass, dick, and vagina thrown at me.

I swear I am tired of smiling and turning it down.

Anyway I so that I can turn it down. That I can crush any and all advances. I run different scenerios through my head and each one I break it DOWN!!!!! :-)

I AM A ROCK!!!! SHIELDS UP!!!!!!

Time to lay in bed and drift off to sleep. Got a long day tomorrow even though I am home. Want to get these songs written, and I want to get them produced, and work on my other businesses.

J-Bo

Last Thing...I Hope

I am back on campus and had time to think on the bus and train ride up here.

I do still love and care for Van...how could I not?

He was the most important person in my life for a long time. He says it was about a year and 1/2. But he isn't counting right...I didn't correct him cause it wasn't something that I wanted to win.

In any case just like how I tell my students and ppl I talk to. If the reasons for the break up are still relevant and true then you cannot go back.

For us it was his religious issues with being gay and the fact he had it beaten (mentally, spiritually, and emotionally...not physically) into him that it was wrong and will send him straight to hell.

The church has put homosexuality at the top of its hit list for some reason. Everything else seems to pale in comparison to homosexuality. Won't even get into that.

So even though it was great seeing him and I do want a serious platonic relationship with I cannot allow myself to entertain the thought of anything romantic.

As far as I know he still believes as he does even against all the facts.

But I will say things do seem to be changing...he is starting to get a hold of himself for himself and this move away might be what he needs. Earrings and possible tattoos. Very interesting.

So that is where I am leaving things. I am willing to be his friend and be his person. But as far as a romantic relationship goes as long as he is living with those beliefs it makes no sense.

Just not for me...but a friend and a close one at that is more than welcomed.

I do want to see him one last time...I want to hear him laugh again...his goofy laugh. And to go see that movie...that would be good to hear him cry on Jesus every 2 seconds. :-D

J-Bo

Another Thing

I cannot vouch for Van, but it was really, really nice seeing him again.

I mean it was awkward cause I didn't feel like I could talk freely and just be me, but it really felt like talking to an old friend who I just haven't seen in years. Nothing more and nothing less.

I did catch myself staring at his ass and dick a few times...but that's just habit. I do that with everyone.

Yes I am justifying it, but that is what it is.

I gotta tell the truth. I know I told him that I want him to be happy with someone else and all that good stuff, but I may have been lying. I mean I do want him to be happy and if he can find a woman that is willing to go there with him.

I talked to Pastor and Tony and they are doing so good. Pastor keeps popping out kids. He wants to keep his wife happy.

He did say that if he could done it through a surrogate and live with Tony he would've, but he made his bed and has to lie in it for as long as he possibly can. I wish them the best...I really do. That is a situation no one wants to be in, but they make the best of it. I think the wife knows, but like any good first lady she is in it to win it.

Like Scandal!!!!

In any case I have to get back to this girl. I do want to tell him how much it hurt that he blocked me on facebook and that I think it was uncalled for.

Even with that I am not mad...or disappointed. How can I be?? He always was the chink in the armor...the one that made me move mountains.

If it wasn't for the dogma and religious intolerance that so many church folk grow up in.

Ttyl...I see a few post coming before the night is over.

J-Bo

Mind BLOWN!!!

So my mind has been blown wide FUCKING OPEN!!!

So I am on campus singing and playing and talking to people. The last thing that I expect to happen is to see Van.

Do you have any idea how many times I would look over my shoulder wondering if he was around, and then he just shows up.

I told myself that the next time I ever saw him that I was going to treat him like shit. I was going to destroy and make sure he knew, that I hated him!!!!! FRENZY!!!!

But I couldn't. First I saw him and was stuck. I didn't recover until 5-6 minutes later. Than he came back and we talked for awhile and went our separate ways.

He is officially leaving and that is that. Going to do research in the summer and then pre-med school in the following school year and then regular med school straight throughout.

I am so happy for him. I am happy that things are moving on for him, and I wish him nothing, but the best, but I have to admit it kinda sucks.

I kinda wish we could see each other one last time and do something fun before he leaves. Something were we both don't feel awkward, and we both laugh and sing.

I cannot believe I actually asked him about his sex life. I cannot believe I care!!!

He asked me if I had closure. I do think I do. I mean I still love and care for him, but I understand that it cannot workout. It's not the distance or any of that. I mean that is what it is, and it is just the religious differences.

He's religious traditions and dogma...I'm spiritual hippie (according to him).

I just asked him about if he was still planning on traveling after med school!!!! WHY DO I CARE?!?!?!?!

He's not going on any vacation though. I'd have to force him away and allow him to get work done so that he can continue helping the people and children.

He is getting his ears pierced when he leaves the state, and he is thinking on getting that tattoo he wants.

Also the way he talks about dealing with his family is a breath of fresh air. The man has grown a set of balls on him when it comes to them. That is new and so refreshing.

I feel like I'm babbling. I wanna see him again. Even if for awhile. I just don't know anymore.

Is it weird that he can still read me when I don't want to be read. I mean he called me out real fast on one thing that I cannot remember.

What was also weird is that I started thinking about music studios, opera companies, and other business ventures I could pursue in Columbus at some convenient times. What the hell is wrong with me?!?!?!?!

I mean it wouldn't be for him, but I follow the money. What would I do if I had a business deal in Ohio...call him up outta the blue. He doesn't want to see me.

I am just a little confused right now.

More to come later when I have had a chance to digest it all.

J-Bo

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Sad But True

It is sad but true that sometimes 
we need the tragedy to help us to see how human we are and 
how we are more alike than we are different. 
The unspeakable devastation in Oklahoma has brought the human goodness to fore. 
Men and women from Kansas, from Missouri, from Arkansas, even from New York City, 
have rushed to offer themselves as aid to the stricken Oklahomans. 
I sit watching the television and am proud of how we are able to sympathize with each other 
and saddened that the only way we come to that understanding 
is when a tragedy affects us. 
I have not seen one person ask if the injured were 
black, white, or Jewish or Muslim or gay or straight. 
Don’t you wish we could think of each other in kinder ways all the time?
~Maya Angelou

Inspiration

So I was asked about the inspiration for some of my songs.

I get it from everywhere and everyone. Of course I pull from my own personal experiences.

I realize that a lot of my songs about just about anything come from everything around me. Stories people tell me, stories I live myself.

And to be honest Van is a real inspiration to me.

Even though we are no longer together, and he has caste me away he has left his mark on me. I thank him for giving so much that I have even more now to give out to others.

Things are looking better and better. Now to finish these songs and then back to Ernani.

J-Bo

Something I Just Realized

So I am sitting here on campus thinking about the next steps. One of them is of course grad school. I do want to get many masters, but I was thinking about getting a masters of course in vocal performance and opera...why stop with the great training I am currently getting.

The thing is that I started looking at a few of the courses and what is being offered and promised.

I realized that I am not only getting Grad School level experience now, but I am creating my own program.

It's like I am part of a opera program. Thanks to this and many other opera companies I can develop the skills that I would in school, but get paid and apply them to my career now and get further.

It's funny. Never thought of it before, but I am getting what I want, just without the piece of paper.

I am feeling good where I am.

I have 2 great vocal technicians in my corner, and a vocal coach who works with MET singers everyday. I am also blessed to be connected to a top vocal therapist who works with many of the top singers in all genres who will work with me.

I just have to add a ENT to the equation, and I think I know who I want. All singers want him, but he cost money. That never stopped me before of course. I am very resourceful. ;-)

So I am getting my education in the real world, and thus I am very happy with myself.

The thing is that I am so damn stressed out. So much to do that it isn't even funny. I am feeling overwhelmed. I'll be happy when this opera is over and I can work more fully on my other projects.

So expect an update later.

I haven't gotten my songs to the producer yet...so not good. But I am working on them...I'll get them in ASAP!!

I have some big things in the works so expect some great news. Of course it will be down played to protect the identities of some people, but that is ok. Just know that I respect my privacy and I will still share what I can when I can.

J-Bo

Sunday, May 19, 2013

God Loves Me

Just say that over and over again until you get it.

Until it sinks in.

Until it makes sense.

I did and I actually fell to the floor crying. It humbled me...it made me stop and reflect. God really does love me.

He loves me black, tall, chubby (though I am working on that cause I can change that). He loves me west indian, he loves me as a musician, business man, christian. He loves me when I love and treat others with love and respect and honor.

He loves me especially cause I am bisexual cause he created my nature and inclinations.

God loves me...

God loves you.

God loves you.

God loves you.

Believe it, receive it, accept it. Let it saturate your spirit. Let it get into you.

J-Bo

SAFE..NICE?!?!?!?!!? -_-

So I have spent the last 55 minutes on the phone talking to 2 guys.

It's not like that...believe me.

They are talking that good shit and everything, but I am just not interested. And it is so weird, but I don't want to be with them. I want to meet someone and we fall into each other...I don't want to be looking for it, or have people who heard me sing and dance with some friends think "Oh this man looks like a good fuck."

Not saying they are saying that. I mean they are really speaking that good shit, but I've been in the game for a long time. Being sincere isn't going to get me...being real is.

So I am frustrated with them. One wants to fuck me and the other wants to get fucked. But only one is offering to take me to breakfast so I know what I am doing. :-)

I mean I do "like" them...just not like that.

Also they called me nice and then they called me SAFE!!!!!!!!!!!! I was so damn mad!!!!

I am not safe!!! I am dangerous...I am a killer, I am spontaneous!!!!!!

It is so frustrating...I feel like I am a neutered dog.

Back to the Billboard Awards.

Looking at my future.

J-Bo

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Bone Tired

So I feel like I am being run into the ground. My fault really, but there is just so much to do, not sure how to get it all done without being a little extreme.

Let's just say that after that "audition" I've had to kick my own self in the ass and get shit moving.

I don't have many updates for you all as of right now. I have to get ready for my little girls bday party. She turned 6 yesterday.

I will never forget how she would ask for Van...now she doesn't. I am sure if she saw him she'd remember him, but outta sight out of mind I guess.

I am keeping really really busy.

I have to...trying to stay out of trouble. :-)

Back to watching the rest of Un Ballo in Maschera and then to write a song before I have to head to this party. I am so late in getting these songs to this man. SMH!!! -_-

Also thinking about walking in the AIDS walk tomorrow, but I have so much work to do and during the week is going to be crazy I maybe better suited just getting the work done tomorrow. Was suppose to meet a group of up and coming men and women of color.

I need to broaden my groups in terms of race, color, creed, ideas, and industries.

Lemme go y'all...my thoughts are wondering to a certain someone watching a aria on youtube that would suit him.

I am meant for Wagner, Verdi, and all Verismo roles...they would be my sweet spot. I just gotta get the technique down. 

My musical path is getting clearer and clearer. I will so love being a versatile artist...I know what I am meant to do and this is just an avenue.

This mezzo-soprano is AWESOME!!! Listen to her and tell me what you think. Her name is Stephanie Blythe.

J-Bo

Thursday, May 16, 2013

Not At All What I Wanted, But What I Needed

So I just finished auditioning for this guy in Queens and long story short I fucked it up.

There is no other way to put it...I was not at my best and that was my fault.

There has never been a time when someone has told me that I didn't have musicianship when singing a song. NEVER!!!!

I wanted to say performing, but to be honest I was just singing. I didn't prepare at all for it, and he was right in saying that I have a voice and a tremendous talent, but I have to put in more work. This I know.

The good thing is that instead of just saying ok and letting me leave he actually spent an hour coaching me and telling me what it is that he wants to see from me when I come back and audition again.

I know what I have to work on. I never want to feel like I am a sucker again...I know I am top notch and I will redeem myself.

So all in all I didn't get what I wanted, but I got what I needed.

I was reminded today the difference between the top 1% and the 99% of the world. God gave me a lot already...now it is my turn to step up and go from there.

I have a lot of work to do. I know what I must do and to be honest it doesn't look very easy, but I know.

Going to talk to my voice teachers ASAP and map out a game plan and get to work. June is when I start regular lessons again, and I am so ready to kick ass!!!!

So I am not going to the BFA recital tonight. I have opera chorus rehearsal and I have WORK to do.

Tomorrow I am back here most of the day and then I am in BK for awhile. Got a lot of running around to do, but I am not mad. As long as I get my work in.

As soon as I finished making a complete fool of myself I wanted to call...I wanted to reach out and...

Nevermind...just being random and letting my thoughts spill out onto the paper. :-)

Almost time for me to leave for rehearsal...I'll let you guys know how that goes.

Gotta be better than the audition today.

J-Bo

P.S. A couple that I used to fuck with saw me today on campus, but after what happened I don't deserve any love or attention. I have to redeem myself. But it was still nice to be wanted. :-P

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

To The Rescue

It is so nice that last night when I was going through a period of missing and wanting Van really really bad, that people came to encourage me.

One of my favorites is that he knows the kind of man I am...the kind of person that is so rare that I shouldbe cherished and held closely. That as long as he isn't a fool he knows what he had in me he will find in no other.

They also said that things happen for a reason and trust in God through it.

I have to admit that I miss him, but I gave 110%. I gave everything I had and everytime I got more I gave more. It wasn't appreciated how I wanted obviously, but it will be alright. I wish him the best and wish that he finds someone that will give him what he wants.

I know I wasn't all that he wanted and vice versa, but like he said I was all that he needed and more. I gave him what he didn't even know he wanted. That is something only God can work out.

So I have people willing to pour into me as I pour into them. I am forever grateful for that. I am so blessed.

Now today is an easy day. Basically in the city doing nothing, but what I could've done at home. But I am going to enjoy my day and relax cause tomorrow I have an audition and rehearsal tomorrow and I need to get ready.

I am off to school to chill out for a few hours and write these songs. Stay blessed and keep moving forward.

J-Bo

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

I'm Feeling Good

So rehearsal tonight was good. It was all the men tonight and we killed it. Well it was really good. I am looking forward to the show.

I must say that being a performer is so deep. There is so many things that come together to make someone a well rounded performer/vocalist. I mean I am doing great and getting better each and everyday. I do have to thank God for the fact that he gifted me with this voice.

My 2 voice teachers, friends, vocal coach, and producer are right. When I sing people do take notice and listen. I used to hear people say I was annointed to sing, but I never paid them any mind cause usually that came with strings, but I am beginning to see what they mean.

I am also getting this whole singing in French thing down pack, sight singing and sight reading is getting way better, more auditions are coming up, and competitions.

I have to get something down and recorded cause someone is looking for a bass-baritone and the pay is $150 for 1 hour of work.

I just need to keep the momentum going and keep working hard.

Things are looking up and I think leaving the country now wouldn't be a smart thing. I need to focus on my career, and other things. I cannot leave right now...too much going on.

I was asked by some friends to go out on some dates. They want to set me up, and I think I am going to let them. It will be a year almost in August that we have broken up and October since he totally cut me off cause God told him I was bad.

Smh.

I do wish to see him again. I want to know how he is doing. I want to get caught up on the good and the not so good. I want to know if he still thinks about me even a little and if he cares about me even a little.

On another note I am so dead right now. This celibacy thing is not working. Today I was ready to rip the doors off the handle. I find that I am sleeping a whole lot more when not working to keep myself from doing something stupid.

I need to release!!! I want sex, but I need intimacy!!!! I will settle for physical intimacy for right now even though what I really want is total intimacy (spiritual, physical, mental, and emotional.)

How do you guys feel about this song? It is really good and I love it.


I almost forgot that next week is the first time that I get to perform with the UN orchestra. Why does the UN need a orchestra escapes me, but it is what it is. I CANNOT WAIT!!!!!

J-Bo

Monday, May 13, 2013

BFA SENIOR RECITAL!!

Gotta get to bed, but the recital today was awesome.

The only thing I regret is not getting a chance to record it, but she sounded and looked beautiful.

I wish that I could go to the BFA Recital, but I have rehearsal that night and the opera is more important. I would go, but I would need special circumstances.

On the other hand lessons start up on the regular soon. Probably starting June.

Things are moving and as long as I go with the flow and get out of the way I will be miles ahead of where I am pretty soon.

Had to help 2 kids today and draw on my experiences from my last relationship. I just really miss him sometimes. Sometimes it is like it was all a dream, and other times I miss him so much that it hurts.

I don't know what to do...

Time for bed...next 2 days are going to be very long and involved.

J-Bo'

P.S. Today was a good day for my self esteem. Got hit on by 5 people...2 guys and 3 girls. I was looking very good today. Everything was on point today. Nice to know I still got it, and I have to get a relationship outta my head and focus on just having fun. But then again a friend just caught UTI and Herpes from someone else. I refuse to get caught out there.

New Favorite Cool Couple!!

I saw this on Facebook and had to share it with all of you!!!!

This is a couple who got caught live at a gas tank and sung karaoke.

I wish this would happen to me. :-)

Here it is while I wait for another BFA senior recital to start. Looking forward to the magic.

J-Bo

Sunday, May 12, 2013

As I Get Ready For Bed

I cannot help but think of my ex tonight. I wonder if he is thinking about me? If he even still cares what happens to me...whether I am alive or dead.

I wonder if I cross his mind...ever.

I don't know why I think these thoughts. Even as I talk to other men and women I still think of him. I know that I will always love him, and don't try to change that, but I would be lying if I say I don't miss him.

Funny how the one thing that should've brought us closer together has actually torn us apart. In the end he always said he was more religious than spiritual and that was fine for him. I always wanted him to keep his religious beliefs but develop a spiritual foundation.

Not that he doesn't have one, but that boy is so intertwined with the church. If it say left he say left and go left.



This song tells alot of what I am feeling right now.

I miss the intimacy and yes I also do miss the sex, but it is more than that. I miss the punches and him fussing at me. I miss him telling me to stop spreading ignorance. I miss him telling me to stay home and not go out cause it is dangerous.

I miss him telling me that he loves me so much he cannot wait to be my husband.


Lemme stop thinking about this. I need to go to bed. Van doesn't think or worry about me. I just have to remember that I am the enemy and I am the devil to him.

Everyone in his family would probably say that.

I do wonder if we would ever cross paths again and where in life we would be. How much would we have grown and matured and how much of life have we seen and experience?

J-Bo

P.S. Tomorrow is work and going to see my girl perform her senior recital. I may miss the BFA recital..because of rehearsal. That sucks. I need to find out what is going and if I can actually go.

Happy Mother's Day: Phenomenal Women

I don't have the words to express not only the women in my life: mother, grand-mothers, god-mothers, older cousins, aunts, friends, etc.

They have all been such a blessing.

So I leave it with another woman to let you guys know how I feel.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.


J-Bo

Saturday, May 11, 2013

Intimacy...My New Definition And What I Pray For


Lets talk about intimacy!
Intimacy:

As we start a fresh new year, we’d like to take the opportunity to talk about the importance of intimacy in a relationship. Many people immediately jump to ‘sex’ when referring to intimacy. That’s not what we are referring to. While sex is important, intimacy transcends carnal acts and explores the realm of spiritual, emotional, physical, and mental closeness. It can serve as a tool to strengthen the bond that already exists in your union and heal wounds that may be present as well. Here are some of the ways we enjoy intimacy within our marriage:

1. Laying in bed, holding each other, while enjoying each other’s body, presence, and warmth.

2. Verbally expressing our loving, innermost thoughts about each another.

3. Passionately kissing and caressing each other for extensive periods of time without having intercourse. (You will be surprised how fulfilling this can be without even having sex).

4. Setting long-term and short-term relationship goals.

5. Discussing our individual Spiritual growth and relationship with GOD.

6. Silent kisses. (This is where we gently touch lips without making a sound)

We have found that strengthening intimacy in our relationship helps to eliminate resentment, anger, and finger pointing within our marriage. It allows us to remain open and honest with one another, thus resulting in stronger communication. Take time to nurture this part of your relationship and as mentioned, even though intimacy goes well beyond sex, don’t forget to “get it on” as frequently as possible too!

Never underestimate the power of intimacy – it’s how LoveWorks for us!


J-Bo

Vocal Rest

So I was suppose to head into the city yesterday for rehearsal and I ended up just staying home.

Since Monday when my voice gave out on me, I decided that the best thing for me to do was go on vocal rest. And I think it was for the best...I did miss out on some of the drama happening between the vocalist at the company, but that is ok.

Singers can be such babies...I should know being guilty from time to time myself.

I still have to get these songs to this man, and then work on getting the funds to record. But I have been learning of a way to get the funds and not have to come out of pocket...meaning I can use positive leverage and get a great result.

Today I shoulda woken up and jumped right to work. I did wake up at 5am, but I went back to sleep and woke up at 8am. I need to get back to work, and there is so much to do, but I just have to plan it all.

So I have work to do, and I don't feel like doing it. I feel like hugging up with a loved one. But I don't have one right now...that sucks. I swear just a little lovey dovey time would recharge me to get to work. :-(

Pray for me ppl...first thing I will work on are these songs. Then maybe a movie night.

J-Bo

Thursday, May 9, 2013

YAY FOR ME!!!!! :-D

This is going to be real quick.

Just wanted to say that things for me have been moving forward like crazy and it is freaking me out a little.

That is all my business ventures.

As for as my passion goes which is performing and entertainment I am on cloud nine. Just got an "audition" with a well connected musical director and I have to prepare.

That is not all that is going on. I have so much going on, that I cannot even articulate it all. This is good cause the only thing I have time to focus on is work, career, and life stuff.

I do want to be with someone. I want to be in a relationship, but I am going to take advantage and move forward. I still think about...well I cannot worry about that. Those thoughts and feelings will always be there, but nothing I can do about it cause of religious beliefs.

I'M COMING WORLD!!! Though you will never really know cause I have to change facts and the magnitude of somethings to hide the facts.

By the way I am going to meet and applaud Shonda Rhimes. She is the BEST!!!!

J-Bo

Reflections...

So as I sit here not doing my work...like at all I look out the window and I am so in love.

This weather and nature and everything right now is awesome. 

It is so green and lush and the view is just wow. I am sitting here looking at the mountain view...and the rain falling. The only thing that is missing is someone to share it with, but that will come in time. God doesn't disappoint and I know that I not only want, but deserve a partner who is going to be with me.

So I also see about 5 deer and 2 stags. I also see 1 gopher and 3 wild turkey. I love nature...I miss the city, but I so love this part right now. 

Now I want to share a video I saw that is probably the way that I would propose, but as Van showed me, maybe someone will propose to me.

As soon as the rain stops I am going for a drive to this nice spot that I was thinking of taking Van if we were still together. It is so scenic and nice and intimate.

J-Bo


Prayer

There is biblical and also anecdotal proof that God speaks and works in the silence.

There is a song that brings this to my mind, that I have only ever heard sung by one of my musical idols (and by idol I mean someone I look up to, cause some of you are quick to attack and point fingers).

I have to get back to this opera and Italian...I also have to get back to this other work, but I wanted to share this cause it came across my desk.



Once Mother Theresa was asked
what she said when she prayed.

She answered that
she didn’t say anything,
she listened.

When asked what God said to her,
she said that God didn’t say anything;
He listened back.

She added that if you didn’t understand,
she couldn’t explain it further.

God speaks in the silence of the heart.
Listening is the beginning of prayer.

~~Mother Theresa

J-Bo

Wednesday, May 8, 2013

Golden Girls: Sophia Had It Figured Out In 1991...

What's taking us so long??

Well that's not true...can't halt God and he is moving forward and all the scared ass people are clinging to their security blankets.

Idiots. :-)


J-Bo

Kevin Grayson


J-Bo

What Do You Say About This?

Wanted to share this from discreetcity.com

Picture

WATCH: Athlete Kevin Grayson - Breaking Gay Stereotypes
Discreet City  |  Nicholas Delmacy
Picture
Inspired by Jason Collins, 25-year-old Virginia native, Kevin Grayson, spoke to a local CBS news affiliate WTVR yesterday to announce to the world that he’s gay. What makes this a big deal is Grayson is not only an average masculine Black man, he’s also a professional athlete and local legend in community. As a football wide receiver, Kevin won championships in High School, College and in the Pros.

“People didn’t believe it because I was an athlete,” Grayson said in the interview. “They’re like ‘Kevin plays football, he plays basketball, he runs track - no way, you know?”

Recognizing that he’s going against the stereotypes, 205 lbs 6’ 3” tall Grayson went on to say, “Those are the types of things where if I could go back and say; ‘Why can’t I be an athlete? Why can’t I be a star player? Why can’t I be the guy making plays that help my team win, and still on the flip side, be a gay male?’”

See the Kevin Grayson Interview, In Just One Click.
Picture
But he wasn’t just any athlete, Kevin was a great one. As a high school senior he served as team captain, earned All-Region honors and was named a Second Team All-State and All-Metro wide receiver. At the University of Richmond, Kevin amassed record yardage on the field and helped his team win the National Championship in 2008. After college, the bilingual player signed overseas with the Italian Football LeagueThe Parma Panthers, where he helped them win an Italian Super Bowl title in 2011.

Kevin did all that while remaining discreet, keeping his private life private. According to him, he wasn’t really in the closet, per say. There were friends, family and other players that knew about his sexuality. He chose not to make public announcements, not out of fear or embarrassment, but actually because he didn’t want to take the focus away from his team and the game.

“You don’t want to be the focus in that way,” Grayson said. “Not to say that it’s a negative, but when you have people just asking questions about your sexuality and how teammates are taking it, it takes away from the importance of the preseason.

“If you are an athlete, you want to be an athlete; you want to be known for what you’ve done on the basketball court, football field, tennis court, whatever. You don’t want to be that person who is always ‘the “gay” athlete.’”
Picture
In fact, Kevin’s like a lot of us, just a regular guy. “I am a simple guy, like hanging out with friends, playing football, watching movies, bowling, love dogs, and just live life to the fullest potential I can.

“Just because you’re gay doesn’t mean you can’t be the athlete you want to be. Doesn’t mean you can’t be a star. Doesn’t mean you can’t go out there and go just as hard as anybody else, if not harder.”


In the interview he goes on to reveal that not only are there many other gay pro athletes out there, he knows a few of them. But he says, “It’s one of those things where you meet someone and you find out about something it’s a ‘you take it to the grave’ type thing.”

Not surprising, when he told some fellow teammates about himself over the years, he would discover that many of them were gay as well. Although he did have to tolerate some indirect homophobic comments made by teammates and coaches, he never took offense to it because they were never directed towards him personally.

“You know, it’s like [they would say] ‘Stop being a princess, stop being a faggot’ you know – ‘Homo!’…While you’re in the football aspect of it, no one is really thinking about it. Hyper-masculine sport. You have coaches that are, I guess, just naive to the fact that they could have a gay player in their meeting,” he said. ”A couple of times I laughed at it. I thought it was funny to think about whether or not if I told this coach, what would they say?”

Seems like every week we’re seeing stories like this of masculine men coming out and shaking things up in the world. Many homophobic people think that there are more gays now than there were 10, 20 or even 50 years ago. I’ve always rebutted that the same number of gays have always existed, it’s only now becoming more of a socially acceptable environment for these men to make their sexual orientation public.

Even if a person doesn’t desire to put out a press release, we always suggest telling at least a handful of people that you trust. Kevin confessed that the pressure to hide from everyone became unbearable, “It’s that extra pressure that you can’t even remotely show something that would lead someone to suspect you,” he said. “So it makes it ten times harder.

“[Once I told a few teammates] it’s like the biggest weight lifted off your shoulder. To know that you have a teammate that basically says ‘I don’t care.’”


- Nick D