Thursday, January 31, 2013

First Official Voice Lesson

So I taught my first student today, and it was a female. I am sure she is a soprano, but that remains to be seen and developed more.

It was awesome, and what helps even more is that she can SING!!!! I mean she comes to the table with so much talent and gifting, that all I have to just guide and let God's grace do the rest. So now I am still at school waiting to head home. i am on cloud nine.

Made a nice quick and easy $50, and there is more where that came from. I am on my way people. Things are happening for me...God is so damn good it hurts. I love MY LIFE!!!!!!

Now to head home and watch Glee, Scandal. Grey's Anatomy, Elementary, and White Collar. =)

I had a thought that I saw Van today...it of course wasn't him, but still. I wonder how he is doing. Nothing can be done about that...he walked away from our friendship. He knows I am here for him, so if and when he is ready to be friends I am here...but until then...WORLD HERE I COME!!!

Also another bio-med major named Kaylah is graduating and instead of going right for med school she is traveling Europe. I ain't mad at er. I am doing the same thing. My first stop is Italy which feels weird cause I originally wanted to go for Van, but things change.

Time to ttake a nap ...this library is still comfortable as hell.

J-bo

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

You Are Not An Accident

I want to let you guys know that you're not an accident. God has a plan for you, and you are absolutely as you should be. I was counseling a man and woman today via skype...God was really there doing and saying what it is that needed to be said.

Remember that you are not an accident.

"I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born." ~ Isiah 44:2 (CEV)

I wanna share with all of you some words that have touched me. It is a poem.

You are who you are for a reason.
You're part of an intricate plan.
You're a precious and perfect unique design,
Called God's special woman or man.

You look like you look for a reason.
Our God made no mistake.
He knit you together within the womb,
You're just what he wanted to make.

The parents you had were the ones he chose,
And no matter how you may feel,
They were custom-designed with God's plan in mind,
And they bear the Master's seal.

No, that trauma you faced was not easy.
And God wept that it hurt you so;
But it was allowed to shape your heart
So that into his likeness you'd grow.

You are who you are for a reason,
You've been formed by the Master's rod.
You are who you are, beloved,
Because there is a God!
~ Russell Kelfer 

That is all for now and I wish you all a good night. I am just getting over a serious stomach virus or food poisoning. I got tutoring tomorrow, and I got voice lessons tomorrow and Thursday giving and taking, and I still feel weak and kinda torn down.

God give me strength.

J-Bo

P.S. Question that I want you all to ponder: I know that God created me unique and special. What areas of my personality, background, and physical appearance am I struggling to accept and love?

Monday, January 28, 2013

HARMONIES!!!

Just wanted to give you guys a little taste of something that made me smile, and brought joy to my heart.

Harmonies is one of the things that I developed a love for while at my college. It was hard at first, but it gets easier and more intuitive every day.

Be blessed while I am here on this campus. Gotta get a voice lesson and see about giving one!! :-)

HAPPY MONDAY!!!

J-Bo



Sunday, January 27, 2013

SPEEDING TICKET...among other things!!

I went to my friends party tonight. She told me about her cheating no good husband...actually I should say ex-husband. So this was a welcome home and you're free from a no good man party.

It was ok...nothing that to jump up and down about, but I had fun, and what is more important is that she had fun and was able to take her mind off of things.

Now on my way home I was BOOKING IT!!!

There were no cars on the road and I ended up speeding right by a cop car. Didn't see it.

I know!! :-(

I mean I was just doing 85 in a 60...BUT THERE WERE NO CARS IN THE ROAD!!!!

I don't know how much it is, but I am just going to pay. I could go to court, but that is more trouble than it is worth. I just want this nonsense behind me.

So now to bed...I need the sleep.

J-Bo

P.S. I also cannot find the garage door opener. I am not sure if I originally had it. Today was one hell of a day. I get a ticket, I think I lost the garage opener. WTF?!?!?!?!?!

Saturday, January 26, 2013

ROAD TRIP!!!! And I was wrong

I am suppose to be going to San Francisco for about 2 weeks. There are some people who have heard me sing, and they want my voice. Also I wanna see my kids. Haven't seen or talked to them in a long time.

Also, I went back on twitter to see my list of friends and it appears I was wrong. Van isn't my friend on twitter.

I don't know what I was thinking...or why I even thought he was. I was talking to my friend and she said I probably imagined it. That there is no reason why he ever would've been my friend. I think maybe I just thought I saw him, and infact was going a lil crazy.

I wonder what else I have been imagining and going crazy thinking was real. Lemme finish cleaning this house, and then get out of here. I got a long drive into the city and back.

Pretty soon I wanna give you guys some news. It is going to be separated into good, great, and best news!! :-)

Can't wait to give you guys an update.

J-Bo

Overwhelm

So much things that I want to do, and so many things that I need to do.

HELP!

I woke up with so much on my heart and my mind. I am going to watch my cartoons and then get to work...I don't have time to waste.

Suppose to be going into the city to go to a coming home party at one of my BFA friend's house. I think she has been going through a hard time, and she may have divorced from her husband. So I will be there to show support and love.

That is all for now. I am hoping to give really awesome news soon, but I am alive, still loving and living in gratitude.

J-Bo

Friday, January 25, 2013

Van Is Following Me On Twitter?!?!?!

What the hell is going on in the world?!?!?!?! I was going through my list of followers and I saw Van's name on it.

At first I didn't believe it...I went back on the site again to look at it again and he really did follow me.

I was and still am confused.

I think that he doesn't realize that it happened. I think that it was an accident, and he doesn't realize it. I am wondering who signed onto his account and did that, or how did that happen?

I want to text him and ask him if he knows what happen, but I shouldn't be reaching out to him. He hates me and everything that I stand for and believe in...I don't want to bother him.

I want to share with you guys some love songs that are really touching me, and I cannot stop singing. I hope they bless you in some way...just as they have blessed me.

J-Bo




Thursday, January 24, 2013

It shouldn't be me...

So I got 1 girl so far, and 5 other people aready to pay me between $40 and $80/hr on lessons on how to sing.

I feel weird doing it, but they want what I have so why not right.

The other thing that they are looking for that I find weird that I can help them with (kinda sorta) is that a few of them work in the church. They want me to teach them how to conduct and work with a choir.

Now I haven't led or taught a choir in YEARS!!!! So I am feeling kinda apprehensive, but I am sure that I can make something happen...actually I know I can.

I was about to refer them to Van for this service, and have him teach that part. But nothing I can do about that...

My knowledge is limited to major choirs in the classical and white christian churches. I have some experiences with Gospel choirs, but not a lot. I think the ratio is 8 years to 2 years. I know it is all the same thing, but with Gospel music I feel that if you are not careful you can end up damaging a lot of voices, and I don't want to do that.

But I am being called for a reason...God is working so lemme just walk in it.

Now I just finished dealing with D and A and their drama...I cannot stand them complaining about what they have. I mean it is crazy...but they made up already. I wonder if Van and I fought and argued like that. :-)

Good times.

J-Bo

Wednesday, January 23, 2013

A Touching and Beautiful Video

Just something I wanted to share with you guys real quick.

There is a beauty and serenity in this...I hope you guys enjoy it.

J-Bo


Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Seeing Results In My Life

Things are moving people. I don't want to jinx it just yet, but things are moving along nicely.

I know what they keys are and I am making sure that it stays a priority.

I don't have a lot to talk about today, but I just want to say put God first, and know. That also means stay away from the religious right wing nuts and the need to judge and condemn people. It will free you.

I am so ready for the next level of my life...love you all and please continue to pray for me and I will give you guys more updates as time goes on.

I also think that I did a great job with Van. I just texted with him a little, and it was nice. I was worried I'd feel something, but I didn't. I put up a 2 mile wall of concrete and steel around my heart and soul that contains him...the parts that are tied to him.

I don't know how it would hold up if I were to see him...I am sure it would be ok. But I could never last long with him touching me...that always broke me down, but that is why it is 2 miles long and wide. The Great Wall of China has nothing on what I built. :-D

Time for a nap...then get ready for tomorrow.

J-Bo

Running with Deer...kinda

So late last night I went out to go out on a date cause the guy had to go to work soon, and it was the time we both were free. It was a waste of time, but he is a nice guy...just no spark.

It's cool...but my night wasn't a total waste.

On my way home, when I was about 3 minutes away there are usually deer grazing in the wild. So while I was driving I saw about 7 of them. As I was driving they started to run, so I drove up and "ran" with them for like 30 seconds.

I started to tear it up...it was so beautiful and so breath taking. The things that God has in the world are astonishing. I cannot believe how blessed I am at times.

I wish I could do that every night. There are just as many deer and stag outside my door and window on a regular basis.

So I think it was for a reason I went out last night...even though this guy is calling me now I know it won't work out. He may be willing to be in a relationship, but our values are wrong. He is someone that is out for only him and what he can get out of life...that is so not me, and I cannot be attached to someone who is that selfish and like that for too long.

Hope you all see the beauty in things everyday.

J-Bo

Monday, January 21, 2013

Presidential Inauguration: Makes me proud!!!

So for obvious reasons I am very proud and honored of the great things that were said and done at the Presidential Inauguration.

I am so proud and privelaged to be here now and in this day. To share it with 4 generations of my family that are all alive and well. I am so honored and bow before God thanking him for the words he put into the President's heart.

Still have a lot of work to be done, but one day at a time it is getting done.

J-Bo

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Interesting day, but it could be better

So I sang today, and it turned out bad. At least it was bad to my ears. I know it coulda been better, and I didn't handle it like a pro, but it is a perfect example of walking into a situation and when you have talent and gifting it works out alright.

People were very impressed, and loved it, but I and other great singers know better. But funny thing is that I got interest from a few people to sing, travel, and perform.

I am so blessed for that, cause I don't deserve it, and that show was the proof of it all.

After that church service I rushed to my church service, and I was so tired that I actually was dozing off during the sermon. But I still got a lot...it was a lot of fun.

The boys asked about Van and how he is doing...actually D asked about him, and he was shocked I haven't had any connection with him besides that text for my bday. I do miss him so very much. I really do miss him...

Anyway my best friend L asked my parents to use the house in Trinidad and of course they said yeah. So whenever they want to go, they can go and have fun in the islands.

I wanna send Van a text, but not sure if it will be received well. I don't want to bring me into his head if he has pushed me out. I just miss my someone who proved to be a very close and well respected friend and confidant. Smh...I miss him.

His smile, his eyes that dance in the light, his frown, his little quirks, and his lips. I miss the man.

Anyway lemme go...I am going to eat, and then crash. I need SLEEP!!!!

J-Bo

Saturday, January 19, 2013

A memorable day...to say the least!

So today was a pretty full Saturday. I had rehearsal for a MLK church service tomorrow. I decided to sing Precious Lord since it was MLK's favorite hymn and Aretha sang it for him on a number of occasions. So it was interesting. I went in there and immediately took control.

I told the director that I had a vision for what I wanted. I told him to take all the effects out of the piano and just give me straight up gospel free form. I told him to follow me...took us about 1 minute to find a nice groove, but it worked.

I was going to sing it acapella, but just in case I want him to go ahead and play a little interlude for me it will be nice. The people that were there heard me sing and they were blown away. I am happy that they liked it so I am just hoping that tomorrow turns out well. We will see.

I also hung out with my one of my best friends and his wife today...we watched one movie that was crazy and threw us all for a loop. It's called Consinsual. Yes that is not a misspelling.

It was crazy...I advise everyone see it, but be prepared to be thrown for a loop the whole movie. I was very impressed.

During part of the movie my friend's wife was in the bathroom doing her hair. My best friend goes in there not to long after. I thought he had to pee. He ends up closing the door and they spend 30 minutes in the bathroom.

He comes out and he can't even keep a straight face. I don't know if she gave him head, he gave her head or they had full out sex, but we both just chuckled and kept it moving. It was funny....a good funny.

He made me proud on that one...he pulled a me. Reminds me of the time Van and I had sex before a movie. I took him into the bathroom sucked him off real hard and fast, and we went to our movie. LOL...I think that was the day we went to go see The Vow...good movie. :-)

I ended my night at a fundraiser...it was boring as hell. I mean it wasn't my tip of fundraiser, but it is what it is. There were 3 singers there...2 women and 1 guy. The guy was off the chain. I am not going to lie...I was feeling a little bad about him getting so much attention, but I refused to go up there and sing when I was asked.

I didn't want to be there for that. I wanted to just be in the audience.

So tomorrow is another day, and I'll give you guys an update.

J-Bo

Ordained Minister...ME??

So some friends of mine called me up and said they want to get married.

I was like ok. It was on a conference call. It was 3 couples. 1 straight, 1 gay, and 1 lesbian.

I will tell the truth and say that I was happy for them, but wondering what the hell I was going to do going to 3 weddings this year.

But I was so wrong...they want me there, but they also asked if I could ordain the weddings. Took me 15 minutes to realize what the hell they were asking me.

So I am suppose to get ordained so that I can perform weddings for my close friends...WTF?!?!?!?!

I feel honored, but not sure how it is going to work. Give you guys updates later...

I'm going on 2 hours of sleep for the past 48 hours. I NEED SLEEP!!!

Also I got asked to sing a special tribute for MLK Jr. Service on Sunday. :-)

And I maybe going to some political event for networking and also to sing too. We will see. :-D

J-Bo

Friday, January 18, 2013

SO HORNY!!!!!

So I woke up at 3am, and I swear my sheets were WET!!!!

It wasn't a wet dream or anything like, but it was a cold sweat.

I woke up with the hardest hardon I've hand in a long time. I mean it could cut steel. I can feel my dick tearing through some ass and mouth and so much more. I AM SO HORNY...I WANT SOME SEX!!! I NEED IT!!!!

I cannot go out and just do what I want. I refuse to risk getting an STD/STI or just sleeping with someone just for the hell of it.

I want to be in love and have that bond.

I had the craziest dream...it was so hot and carnal and wild. Of course it was random, but at the very end I saw my man Race Cooper who always reminded me of Van. I need a boyfriend...hell I'll even take a girlfriend.

I know it is wrong to say, but I need someone who I can be with to take my mind off of Van. I know it is just me putting a wall up and over that part of my heart, but it is needed. Sometimes I miss him so much...other times it is like there is a yearning for him, but i don't feel it cause i am just busy doing stuff.

I don't know what I'm going to do...but I am going to go back out there and date and just work hard.

Time to get my day started I guess.

J-Bo

Thursday, January 17, 2013

AMERICAN IDOL!!!!!

Short post today.

This dude on Idol just sang Smokie Norful's "God Is Able"!!!!

He had me raise my hands up in GLORY!!!!!

In any case I know I have been a little MIA, so I just wanted to say hi. I wanted to send some love and let you all know I appreciate all of you. :-)

Now I have to get ready to head to my school to print a crazy amount of stuff for free, and go into the library and just chill. Everyday I am getting stronger and better!!

J-Bo

Love Is In The Air

So things are moving, but they are moving so slowly. I feel like I am not gaining as much momentum as I should be. Obviously I am the one to blame for that, but that doesn't mean anything. I gotta stay focused and steadfast.

I miss having a boyfriend...I miss the intimacy...I miss the closeness. I can have the same things now...there is this girl and guy but I don't want them. I have to be honest and say that I my heart is still torn.

I miss my friend...I really do miss just about everything about him. Today a lot of things reminded me of him. Even some of the singers that people wanted to talk to me about reminded me of him. I can barely listen to a gospel song without him popping to mind. :-)

Lol...God is good though. He brought that man into my life and taught me so much. I never knew love until him. I never understood what people meant about God's love manifested through a person, but I understand now.

You just want to get lost in them just like you do in the Lord. It's like getting fed physically, mentally, and spiritually!!! :-D

My friends A & D are living the dream right now. Soon they will either be moving in with each other, or A will be getting his own place and D will just be a constant visitor/guest. I once again find myself jealous of what they have for each other.

 But why should I be jealous...they have about 6 years together...even though I do take some pride in knowing that my 2-1/2 years with Van proved to be more fruitful, further along, and satisfying than theirs. I know it isn't a competition, but me and Van had a real nice flow.

Van has shaped my life in ways that I never thought possible...I thank him for that. He has brought more centeredness and peace into my life. I just cannot believe that we spent so much time trying to change each other into who we thought the other person should be...we quickly stopped that after some trial and error, but still!!! The wasted time.

Oh well...time for bed. Got a long day tomorrow, and I wanna get a real good start on things. I know what I am meant to do...now it is time to do it.

J-Bo

P.S. Even though I don't really feel like it, I think I will start just dating again to get myself used to being out there. I am meant to have children, be a husband, and a father, and a grand father. I can't let that slip by me.

P.P.S. I just looked outside and saw deer grazing in the snow...such a site. Another things that makes me think of God and of Van...this is so him.


Sunday, January 13, 2013

Confession Time!!!!!

I am having a real hard time today. Well lemme first start by saying that I had an awesome time in church talking to my best friend, my boys, my extended family, and having an overall good time.

I also got a chance to get my little niece for a little while and she so enjoyed her time with me. My parents and myself took her home, and we stayed and played with their new dog, and my mother was scared of it. It was very funny and we had a good laugh.

When it was time to leave my little niece didn't bat an eye at my mom or dad leaving. She just gave them a kiss and said see you later.

But when she saw me getting up, that little girl started to CRY!!!! And I mean real hard tears. She was going really really hard.

Everyone was shocked including me...and I was very touched. I forget sometimes that people love me, and want me to stay around them.

So with all that greatness the thing that I need to confess to is that I almost called Van 3x today.

I mean I was really missing him, and just wanted to hear his voice, and hear him smile. It was crazy!!!

The other thing also that I don't want to tell anyone that I almost got sent to jail today. Before I got to church I went for a walk to just get some air, and stop thinking about him so hard. I saw someone that looked like him. I swear it was him.

And he was making out with some dude. Now don't get me wrong...the dude was hot and made me feel very self conscious about myself, but I was LIVID!!!!

So I walked up to them, and knocked the other guy out. I actually knocked him down, and broke his jaw and nose from what I saw. I turned around and looked at who I thought was Van and obviously it wasn't him. I was mortified.

So I got out of their fast and quick and ran to church. I am happy to say i am not in jail and all is well. :-)

I am going to spend some time asking God to work that out of me. What about that man makes me so crazy. I normally don't care about anyone else like that, and I never really cared, but with him it drives me crazy.

I need to be a rock...A FRENZIED STRONG ROCK OF NOTHING!!!!!!!!

So now I have my phone out and I want to send him a message. I want to call him. I wish I could see what is going on with him on Facebook or any other social media account. I just miss him...especially being out here. In an environment that he would absolutely love.

Don't get me wrong...I miss the sex, but it is more than that. I miss the man.

Anyway thanks for letting me get it all out. I know that this is probably annoying by now, but what can I do. I still love him.

Lemme finish watch these shows, and get myself to bed. I start my morning strong tomorrow. I cannot believe I actually did that to that man. My grandmother always told me to keep my hands to myself cause I am too strong and I don't know my own strength and I could kill someone by accident.

I have to be careful and stop playing games. I am a deadly weapon. :-)

I almost called him just now...I just put my phone down.

I have so much to accomplish...gotta keep up the momentum.

J-Bo

Saturday, January 12, 2013

Annual No Pants Subway Ride

So tomorrow. is the Annual No Pants Subway Ride...

I remember the times that I participated. :-)

Very fun and very liberating...and very scary as hell!!!! But it was a fun experience that I will take with me for the rest of my life.

Tomorrow I am off into the city for church, and then to spend time with my little niece. Fun times to be had for sure...I figure after 15 mins she will have already talked my head off. That little girl is a ball of energy!!

Also Van texted me today. It came as a surprise. I had to have looked at the contact info, and the message 10x before I realized that it was a real message. It was just him wishing me a happy bday, so it was nothing to big by anyone's standards.

But it meant the world to me. I am always shocked when people remember and know about my bday. It is very humbling and very beautiful.

I am going to bed now...got a long day tomorrow. I know that tomorrow is going to bring me good things. Looking forward to church, and wonder what I can get from the message tomorrow.

J-Bo

Friday, January 11, 2013

So much information and talen it wore me out!

Today was a great way to continue my birthday celebration.

So much music, so many great awesome people. I am so blessed to be surrounded by such greatness.

What makes it even better is that I am getting so many contacts and opportunities. I need to get to bed cause I am TIRED!!!!!!

Hope you guys had a a great time. I did. Van's name came up a lot of course. Some people missed him, and some wanted to know how he was doing.

I think I handled it perfectly. I spoke like a pro and gotten all the people what they wanted. Maybe I should go into politics. :-)

Till next time people.

J-Bo

Thursday, January 10, 2013

I am feeling the love!!!

I have had over 100 people contact me on facebook and other social media avenues.

I've gotten more texts and phone calls than i can remember. And also I didn't even realize people still e-mail, but I got way more than I care to count.

I just feel so blessed and honored.

Tomorrow I go into the city to hear some singing...hopefully, but I will be in the practice room all day till 5pm. I just love the love.

Now off to bed cause I gotta be up at 4am.

J-Bo

So I Ended Up Looking Like A Fool...Smh

I went to Barnes and Noble to just get out of the house and get some work done and enjoy myself.

But guess what happened when I'm sitting there reading a cool looking sci-fi book. I look up and I swear to you that I am not gong crazy, but I thought I saw Van.

I thought I saw him with a man and they were kissing. I got so damn hot and angry that I got up and ripped them apart. I was ready to kill that other guy and scream at Van. But they stopped kissing and I saw it wasn't him.

I was sweating, my heart was beating fast. I was actually angry, upset, and hurt.

I can't believe I would feel like that. Why do I even care? Why do I even think about this man?!?!

I immediately got up and drove home, and took a cold shower. Now I feel calm and more centered. I don't know what the hell that was about. I AM A ROCK!!!

I need to get another man and/or woman in my life and fast. One that is up to date on their health and sexual health stuff. I cannot have someone who doesn't care about their health.

I still can't believe that happened. I tell myself that I don't miss him, I don't still love him, that it is all a distant memory, and that he is no longer here. But then shit like this happens and God shows me up. I need to figure this out.

J-Bo

STI and STD: Why aren't people smarter??

So I have gotten news of people getting HIV, Chlamydia,  Gonorrhea, Syphilis, and all sorts of other diseases. It is so sad, but people are walking around sick and they don't even know it.

What's worse is that some do know and are keeping it to themselves and still out there doing whatever they want. Feeling that drugs are so good it doesn't matter what they get because it can be taken care of. :-(

This is so sad...so very sad and disappointing.

It makes me not want to touch or bother anyone ever again. It makes me cringe at times. That before I even kiss someone I have to go get them tested and go with them, cause people are so unreliable and liars.

People please be careful...don't do anything. Don't trust anyone unless you can trust them. I don't know too many people that you can do that with nowadays, but just be cautious.

J-Bo

It's my bday...I'm getting OLD!!1 :-)

So I turn 27 today. I feel great. I am going to rush to bed because I have so many things to do tomorrow, and I wanna make sure that I have all the energy that I need to make things happen.

I wish I could get a phone call, text, e-mail, or something from someone else, but it doesn't matter.

I'm forgotten and thrown aside.

Shit happens.

So lemme get to bed, and I'll keep you guys up-to-date on how my day goes. I just...nothing. I am going to move forward. I think for my bday I am going to go volunteer. I wanna do something for others...it'll make me feel good to help people.

Ttyl

J-Bo

Sunday, January 6, 2013

A Whole New World

So things have been going really, really good so far.

I have committed to taking everything up 5 levels. It isn't going to be easy, but it is so worth it. I start voice lessons again soon, my health is looking up and taking a radical shift, and also my music. I am really focusing hard on becoming more accomplished in the classical world and the popular world. To me that means developing the skills that I need to develop such as sight reading (which has jumped by leaps and bounds) and also playing by ear (also has made serious improvements)

I am also proud to say that I am starting my voice lessons with 2 vocal masters, my voice coaching with a woman who has been labeled by white mama, and also a voice therapist who all the greats work with whom is looking forward to working with me.

I am very, very blessed, and I cannot wait.

I have also dedicated to draw closer to God...something that I do anyway, but I want to be more deliberate.  I am going to work on completing the bible in 90 days. I know that I can do it, and it will make me feel very good and powerful.

Let's just say that I hold nothing back, and I am raising the bar up. I am also looking to get a few more speaking engagements, and surprisingly it is getting really scary. I mean people are really looking for me, and they want me to speak.

It is scary, but exciting. I mean just for nothing at all it is exciting, and I love it.

Also I am getting my OWN PLACE IN THE CITY!!!! Before this year is over I will be in my own place...back in the city!!! I cannot wait. As the details for that gets ironed out I will let you guys know.

Besides that I don't know what else to tell right now. I wish I could tell you guys more about all the other things going on, but it is what it is. I have decided to put dating on the side for now, cause I want to work more on me, and get myself to the next level as to get a better quality of person.

I am not saying that the men and women in my life now aren't great...they are. It's just that I am not really into the dating thing right now. But I who knows...last night I went out to celebrate my cousins and a family friends birthday, and we talked for a long time, and we really clicked. More than we have in a long time.


No church today...I won't be able to make it into the city for church no more than 2x a month, so this Sunday is a day to relax, sleep, study, and work.

That's all for now. Have a great Sunday.

J-Bo

Friday, January 4, 2013

Something about all this Nature...

I just woke up not to long ago, and I am looking outside and I see deer outside again. They come around every once and awhile. Every time I look around and I see all this great wonderful nature I think of Van.

I think of how much he would love and appreciate this.

I know it is stupid to think of things like that since he doesn't think about me anymore, and I am a ghost in his life, but I miss him so much some times. A good amount of times. :-)

I think I know why old people are always telling young people to not get involved with anyone until they get married, because when you build those bonds and ties they are something else.

Sucks that things are the way they are.

I wonder how things are going with medical school, and how his family is doing, and I wonder what he would tell me about the opera he went to see. I can already hear the words he would use...magical, beautiful, splendiferous, and moved him to tears.

I know that I shouldn't be thinking about stuff like that. I hate the feeling that I miss him, and he doesn't even think or remember me. But I do miss his smile, his laugh, his complaining. I feel so bad that I didn't honor and respect him like I should've when he was around. I feel like I didn't honor what God gave me when I had the chance...and for that I feel stupid.

Now I also have to be totally honest in other areas as well. I miss that ass, that mouth, those hands, that dick. I miss stroking that ass, and getting stroked. I know I am a hot ass mess. :-P

So let me try to get back to sleep, cause if I don't I feel me going out and doing something real stupid and reckless.

If you got someone in your life, please honor and respect them...you never know when it will all end.

One of the pastors I follow told me that he was happy that his husband has been hanging his towel next to his for the past 35 years. And he prays for 35 more. I want that...I think I had that. I just leave it all in Jesus name.

J-Bo

Thursday, January 3, 2013

Something that ROCKED my soul...God is so GOOD

Enjoy these videos and I hope they help someone out there!!







J-Bo

Early to Bed, Early to Rise

So I fell asleep about 7ish and woke up at around 1:30am. I decided to get into some work and get my day started.

Days like these are awesome cause I get so much done before 9am than most people do today.

I have been setting myself up for all that is suppose to come my way. Btw I am over here watching a show on PBS about Broadway, and I knew Jewish people have had a hand in Broadway music and it's advancement, but I had no idea they were so instrumental.

It's funny how that happens...some of the stories they wrote about are so beautiful and controversial. I never knew that. I gotta tell my Jewish friends this...they would love to hear it.

I didn't even know Barbara Streisand was such a huge singing star. I knew she was a star, but had no idea why. I gotta finish watching this, before I go to bed. It is giving me so many musical ideas, and opening my mind.

Any way, good morning everyone. Hope you all had an awesome New Year...I did.

J-Bo

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

This has proven to be an interesting year to say the least, but it has been one of learning and growth and more importantly love.

I hope you all are doing something great this year. I decided to spend this year alone in quiet reflection and prayer.

I love and appreciate all of you so much.

God bless, and have crazy fun for me.

J-Bo